


Like Mother, Like Daughter (Season 2)

by originella



Series: Like Mother, Like Daughter [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 09:53:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 63,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19060273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/originella/pseuds/originella
Summary: Iana Gallagher-Blomqvist is no more. Now going by Iana Milkovich, the sixteen-year-old is pregnant with her first child and waiting anxiously for motherhood to begin. However, Iana is plagued by nightmares from a past she thought was long-buried and forgotten. How will she be able to focus on future motherhood when a frightening, dark figure refuses to wholly let her go for good?





	1. Sweet Dreams

_I felt ridged, sitting there in the courtroom, with my mother sitting next to me like some goddamned handler. I knew full well that the opposing side was just waiting to spray me if I got out of hand. It was like I was a fucking dog; I was only fourteen-years-old, and these charges were complete madness._

_I watched then as the door creaked open, and a gasp nearly escaped my throat when I saw that Judge Whitmore, still working after all this time, stepped out without assistance. He crossed over behind the witness stand and went to his seat, shooting my mother an apologetic look as his black robes swished around him. “Be seated,” he said, his accent rich as he set his paperwork in front of him and sat down himself. “Will the defendant please rise?”_

_I got to my feet then, knowing that I had to cooperate, even though my senses were screaming for me to fucking run out of there. I turned and looked over my shoulder then, spotting Pops and Uncle Ian sitting directly behind me. In their expressions, worried as they were, I felt their love from where I stood, and I knew everything would be all right._

_“The charges stacked against the defendant, Iana Phillipa Gallagher-Blomqvist, are attempted murder in the first degree, assault and battery in the first degree, and aggravated assault resulting in a coma-like state.” Judge Whitmore raised his eyes to mine then, and I did my best not to come undone at the disappointed look he gave me in the short silence that followed. “How does the defendant plead?”_

_“Not guilty, Your Honor, by reason of mental disease or defect,” I replied._

_Judge Whitmore nodded. “I am setting a six-month course of rigorous therapy for you, Miss Gallagher-Blomqvist, during which time a diagnosis will be made. During that time, if a diagnosis is made, my ruling will be made easier. During this time, you will be returned to the custody of your mother and father, and be placed under house arrest. You will be permitted to go to school and to work, and your work schedule will be given to you by your probation officer so that they can plan your curfew accordingly. Your schedule will consist of school, work, and the therapy sessions. Provided that you comply with this, your sentencing could prove to be a lighter one. Do you understand?”_

_“Yes, Your Honor.”_

_“Court will be adjourned for the day, then. Murphy, I expect you to escort your daughter directly to her probation officer, where she will be fitted with an ankle bracelet.”_

_My mother nodded. “Yes, Your Honor.”_

_“Court is adjourned,” Judge Whitmore said for a second time, this time banging his gavel, hard, onto his judge’s table._

. . .

I left the government building once I’d handed over the petition, and stepped outside into the sunshine, which almost seemed to be waiting for me. It felt good on my skin, and I smiled a little then as I felt my child flipping around inside me. “What do you think, baby? You going to be more into sunshine, or snow?” I laughed aloud then as I spoke to my child, making my way down the steps and over towards my car. As I dug into my pocket to get my keys out, I heard footsteps behind me, and immediately turned around to see who was following me. “Liam?” I asked, my voice hitching slightly in my throat.

Liam sighed, remaining where he stood a few paces away from me. He had deep purple circles underneath his eyes, but I knew that could happen to you when you flew across the world as much as he did. “Iana.”

I swallowed then, not really sure what to do as I kept my back to him, not wanting him to see my stomach, which had popped slightly in his absence. I knew that, because of his and Penny’s texts to me, that he was signing a deal in Italy for the last nearly two weeks, but he wasn’t due back until the day after tomorrow. “Trip good?” I asked.

He shook his head, his silvery eyes dark, likely from the lack of sleep. “Cut the crap, Iana. I know what’s been going on here.”

I sighed, pulling my sweater more closely around me then, judging that it was safe to turn around before I finally permitted myself to do so. “Yeah?” I asked, crossing my arms. “Well, I welcome your guess-work, Liam. Go ahead and guess.”

“You trying to get a lawyer here or some shit?” he asked.

I scoffed. “A lawyer? Please. My mother and her husband are lawyers, and some of the best this county has ever seen, thank you very much. Sure, my relationship with either of them isn’t the best right now, but I can always come to them for any old thing…”

He jabbed a finger in the direction of the building I’d just exited from. “You ghetto chicks are all the same. I know why you’re really here, Iana. You’re a fucking gold-digger!”

“A gold-digger?!” I demanded. “Excuse you?!”

“You’re trying to get a lawyer to take some of my family’s money! Admit it!”

I cut myself off then, fully realizing what Liam was accusing me of, and found the rage bubbling just beneath my skin. “Who the fuck do you think you are, Liam, demanding to know if I’m going to take your money? I have no interest in your money; never have, never will. Why the fuck would I want it now?”

He clenched his fists then, almost as if he was attempting to keep his temper with me, but he was struggling in doing so. “Cut the shit, Iana,” he growled, and I raised my eyebrows, so unused to this side of him as he jabbed a finger at me then, and I nearly flinched backwards, as the action was so accusatory. “I know that _that_ ’ _s_ mine,” he said.

“Jesus Christ,” I muttered. “So, that’s what this is about?”

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me you were pregnant?!” he demanded, and I could almost smell the alcohol on his breath from where I stood. “You know that’s not the life I want. I thought that you and I were on the same page…”

“Clearly, you and I haven’t been on the same fucking page for a long time now, Liam,” I fired back, and he seemed shocked at the vehemence in my voice. “You turned into some needy pussy just a few weeks ago. And for what? Worried that I was fucking other guys? Please. I haven’t fucked anyone since we started fucking.”

“So, you admit it?” he demanded. “You admit that it’s my baby?!”

“It’s my fucking baby, Liam!” I yelled. “And no, you’re not the fucking father, because I’m too far along to be carrying any child of yours!”

“Too far along?” he asked, all anger gone. “What?”

“That’s right,” I said, willing the tears not to form behind my eyes. “It’s not yours. It’s some jackass I went to high school with. The guy I hooked up with on my birthday, who freaked the fuck out as soon as the cops busted the place, and ran out, tail between his legs. Guess it’s fitting, isn’t it?” I asked him bitterly as I leaned back against my car. “It’s fitting that I fucked both of you, considering that you’re both fucking pussies. Guess I must have a type. A type of guy I like to fuck, but not one I’d ever settle down with.”

“It’s…not mine?”

“No, it’s not fucking yours,” I hissed back. “This is my baby. _Mine_. Nobody gets this baby except for me. I already sent the father away, which is what I’m doing to you now. Stay the fuck away from me, Liam,” I growled, opening the door to my car. “I never want to fucking see you again. Ever.” I got into my car then, without a backwards glance, and got the hell out of that parking lot, content never to see that low-life son of a bitch again.

. . .

3 WEEKS LATER

“I know I keep saying it whenever we see each other, Iana, but god fucking _damn_. You fucking popped!” came Franny’s daily gush in the employee locker room that day, when we finished our respective shifts.

I laughed. “Had to happen sometime,” I said, running my hands all over my stomach as I gathered my things.

“How much did you get in pity tips today?”

I laughed then, jingling the section of my duffel reserved for them at the end of the day. “Couple hundred, give or take. Perks of being pregnant, I guess…”

Franny laughed. “Yeah. God knows I went through it. Guess it’s a right of passage or some shit with this family…”

“So true,” I replied, rolling my shoulders as I hitched the duffel out and slung it on. “God, I’m so fucking exhausted…”

“You spending the night at the apartment tonight?”

I shook my head. “No. Pops is coming with me to the appointment today, so he just said I can crash over there. Think I’ll be back tomorrow, though. We’ll see.”

She nodded. “I love that you’re staying with both of us, Iana, but soon you’ll have to make a choice about permanent living arrangements. Not just for you, but for the baby. Or, shall we say a large banana?” she joked.

“Ugh, _do not_ mention bananas, please!” I yelled, clamping a hand over my mouth and throwing myself up against my locker. “I’ve always hated the smell and taste, but now that I’m pregnant, it’s a million times worse!”

Franny held up her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, got it.” She reached into the top shelf of her locker then and handed over a letter. “This came for you this morning. Why’d you have them send it to the apartment?” she asked.

Immediately, I dropped my duffel and pulled it from her hands, tearing away at the professionally-sealed envelope.

“Uh, you’re welcome,” Franny said.

“Sorry,” I said, quickly looking up at her. “Thank you.”

I met her smile of appreciation before I turned my gaze back to the envelope and finished tearing it open. I yanked out the official-looking paperwork on the inside, embossed with the State of Illinois on the top. I skimmed the document, letting me know that my name change had been approved, and that I should go about changing all of my documents in the future, just to make sure the government didn’t come running after me.

“Everything okay?”

I nodded, looking up at her. “See for yourself,” I replied, handing them over.

“So, this is why you were so secretive?” she asked, looking over the documentation. “You changed your name?”

I nodded. “That’s right.’

Franny looked up, handing them back to me, considering. “So… Iana Phillipa Milkovich. It has a nice ring to it.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, my god, shut up,” I muttered, a laugh escaping my lips as I put the documents back into the envelope. “My appointment is in half an hour. If I don’t leave now, I’ll be so late…”

“Go!” Franny urged, pulling me into her arms for a moment. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Tell me everything, okay?”

I nodded, holding her for a minute before pulling back. “You know it!” I called over my shoulder before I walked out the employee door. I walked towards my car and got inside, tossing my duffel into the backseat before I pulled out of the parking space and drove down the alley, turned on the street, and made my way down the road towards the freeway.

Pops’s text had informed me that he would meet me at the hospital, and I was relieved that I would have someone at my side throughout the appointment. This was the biggest appointment so far, as I was twenty weeks that day, meaning that Dr. Lennox would be able to inform us about the sex of the baby. Even though Pops had tried to hide it over the past few weeks, I knew just how excited he was about the reveal today. I’d been told by Uncle Ian that, due to Aunt Debbie’s persuasion, my mother had done a gender reveal party. I just wanted people to know on my own terms, and Franny, even though she was Aunt Debbie’s daughter, seemed to respect that in a way that Aunt Debbie never could.

I arrived at the hospital within fifteen minutes and slid out of the car, tucking the documentation under my arm, wanting Pops to see it as soon as possible as I stepped inside. The air conditioning blasted me, even though it was late-September, but it was in the mid-seventies that afternoon. I wasn’t complaining; I was constantly overheated these days, and the massiveness in my midsection certainly didn’t help. I sighed, rolling my shoulders in an effort to calm myself as I walked towards the elevators to take me to the maternity floor, where I was due to have all my appointments from now on.

The doors dinged and let me inside, and I pressed the fourth floor button, and the box lurched up, taking me with it. I texted Pops, letting him know where I was and that I would be along to join him shortly. The doors came open a few seconds later and I stepped out, making my way to the appropriate waiting room, and grinning automatically when I saw Pops, head in his phone. I smirked to myself then and walked up behind him, placing both my hands over his eyes and drawing back immediately when he flinched, getting to his feet immediately and checking to see who it was.

“Easy, Pops,” I said, holding up my hands. “Just me.”

Pops dragged a hand over his face. “Christ, Iana. You know you can’t do that.”

“Sorry, sorry,” I said, walking around the row of chairs and coming up close. “Hey. It’s all okay, you hear me?” I went on, placing a hand on his shoulder before he pulled me against him. I could feel his heart racing as he tried to calm his breathing, and I did my best to appear soothing towards him. “All right… I need to go and get my paperwork to fill out for the appointment. You going to be okay for a minute?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Pops replied, immediately pulling back from me then and forcing a smile onto his face. “I’m over forty, kiddo. I can take care of myself.”

I smiled, kissing him on the cheek. “I know you can, Pops,” I replied, turning around and walking towards the desk. “Hi. Iana Milkovich. I called you about the name change, and I got the documentation with me.”

“We have it right here for you, Miss Milkovich,” said the woman with a smile, handing over my paperwork. “Your first?” she asked, nodding to my stomach.

I nodded. “Yeah,” I replied.

“Congratulations,” she replied.

“Thank you,” I said, grinning at her before moving back to sit with Pops. I waited for a moment, just making sure he was watching me from the corner of his eye then as I wrote _Iana Milkovich_ next to my name.

“What are you writing that for?”

I grinned, handing over the legal paperwork Franny had presented me with earlier. “It’s all legal, Pops, I promise. I rushed the claim. Judge Whitmore may have helped me out a bit, even though he totally loves my parents, he knows why I wanted this done.”

“You changed your name?”

I nodded. “That’s right.”

Pops was silent for a moment, so after I finished filling out a particular section of the maternity paperwork, I turned over and looked at him. “You took my name?”

“Yeah,” I replied, not wanting to upset him. “Look, I know I didn’t ask beforehand, but you did give me your signature on that thing… This is what that thing was. It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Oh, I’m surprised.”

“Is it okay, though?”

Pops nodded then, swallowing; it was how we buried our emotions. He reached up then and put his arm around me, before yanking me by his side. “I love you, kid. It means a lot to me that you did this.”

I smiled. “Glad you think so.”

“What’d your mom say?”

I sighed, untangling myself from him and turned towards my paperwork again. “Mom doesn’t get a vote in this situation.”

“Wait. She doesn’t know?”

I shook my head. “No, she doesn’t know.”

“Christ. What the hell is she going to say?”

I sighed, rubbing my temples. “I can think of a few things…”

. . .

_“I can go in by myself.”_

_“Iana, given the charges stacked against you right now, I don’t think it’s wise for you to go in anywhere by yourself.”_

_I turned and looked at my mother, glaring at her. “What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?!” I demanded then, putting my hands on my hips._

_My mother sighed, staring at the sky for a moment as we stood in front of this godforsaken limestone building, where we were due to meet my probation officer. “Look, Iana, I’m not only your mother. I’m also your lawyer. And right now, as your lawyer, it’s my duty to accompany you to meet your probation officer.”_

_I dragged my hands over my face, willing myself not to cry. “I don’t want you to be my lawyer. I want you to be my mother.”_

_She grumbled incoherently under her breath then, obviously growing impatient with me. “Look, honey, I’m not here to argue with you. Let’s just go inside and take care of this…”_

_I shook my head then, pulling out my cell phone and pulling up my favorite search engine. “I get a say in all of this, too, Mom…”_

_“What are you doing?” she demanded._

_I searched up ‘best Chicago lawyer’ and found a five-star rating on a woman named Caroline Hastings, who looked to be in her mid-thirties. She had single handedly built her own practice from the ground up, one Hastings, Northcott, and Quinton, and while she reportedly asked for five hundred an hour, she was the best of the best. I knew that, somehow, I’d be able to persuade her to take me on as I pressed the phone icon on my screen._

_“Iana, what are you…?!”_

_“Hello, this is Amy, Miss Hastings' personal assistant. Who may I ask is calling?”_

_“My name is Iana Gallagher-Blomqvist.”_

_“Oh! Miss Gallagher-Blomqvist. Miss Hastings has been reading all about your case; all the firm has, really… How can we help you?”_

_“I would like to have Miss Hastings as my attorney,” I replied. “I know it’s a long-shot, but I feel it is a conflict of interest to have my own mother as my lawyer…”_

_“Hold, please,” Amy said, and I tapped my foot slightly impatiently, keeping my fingers crossed as my mother glared at me._

_“Hello. Am I speaking to Iana Gallagher-Blomqvist?” came the refined-sounding voice of a woman who sounded as if she was from California._

_“That’s me. Is this Miss Caroline Hastings?”_

_“Honey, please. It’s Cara. And yes, it is… My assistant Amy informed me that you are looking for an attorney?”_

_I nodded. “Yeah, that’s right. I informed Amy that I believed it to be a conflict of interest to have my mother on my case.”_

_“You’re absolutely correct,” Cara replied. “According to my good friend Judge Whitmore, you were released ROR and are currently waiting to be seen by your probation officer.”_

_“Sally Carruthers,” I explained._

_“Ah, yes. I know her office well. I’m just a five-minute drive from there. I’ll be over straightaway, my dear; consider yourself my latest client. As for the fee…”_

_“I have a couple thousand saved up from working,” I replied._

_“Nonsense; you need to save that for college,” she said quickly. “Although, I know you’re going to get an academic scholarship with your grades. But books don’t come cheap…”_

_I laughed. “No. No, they do not.”_

_“Well, I’m coming over now, Iana,” she told me, and I know my mother heard her, for she was silently seething from close by. “Don’t you worry about a thing. We are going to get this sorted and quickly.”_

_I smiled. “Thank you, Cara.”_

_“No problem,” she replied. “It’s what I do.”_

. . .

“Iana.”

I looked over at Pops then, halfway noticing that I’d managed to fill out the rest of the paperwork on automatic pilot. “Sorry,” I replied.

“What’s wrong?”

I sighed, setting down my pen and rubbing my forehead. “Sorry…”

“Hey, don’t be sorry,” he said, putting his arm around my shoulders again. “What’s been going on with you lately?”

“Lotta shit,” I muttered.

“Yeah?”

I swallowed then, leaning back into his arm. “I’m not really…sleeping much…”

“Baby Milkovich keeping you up at night?”

I scoffed slightly then, before I shook my head. “Yeah, now and again. They like to sit right on my bladder; hurts like hell.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

I shrugged. “But it’s more than that…”

“More?”

“Yeah. Nightmares.”

“You’re having nightmares again?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“About what? About your mom leaving you and the boys with Ian when she was doing whatever she was doing with Tommy?”

I shook my head. “No. The trial…”

“About Colin?”

“Yeah. About him.”

“Sorry. I know you don’t like it when people say his name.”

I sighed. “Gotta get used to it, don’t I? I mean, if the police on the night of my birthday hadn’t been fucking bought off… Who knows? My damned probation could’ve been down the toilet like a shit ton of other things…”

“Kiddo, you know that you’re not on probation. Based on the amazing work of the court-appointed therapist, you were diagnosed as bipolar. And the poor opposing side’s got nothing on you.”

“It fucking feels like it,” I muttered. “Why you think I hate cops so much?”

“Because Tommy’s a son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, that’s part of it,” I said quietly.

“You’re just lucky you didn’t beat that little punk to death…”

I sighed. “Not like I didn’t want to…”

The door opened from across the room then and Dr. Lennox stepped out, a bright smile on her face as she saw us. “Iana. Mickey. Come on back,” she said.

I got to my feet with Pops then, who handed me back my paperwork, which I folded up and put into my purse. I handed over the medical paperwork to Dr. Lennox, who made small-talk with the two of us as we made our way towards an exam room. I spotted the ultrasound machine immediately upon walking in, and handed over my purse to Pops, who set it down on a chair and watched as I hopped up onto the exam table.

“Big day, twenty-weeks,” Dr. Lennox said, her infectious smile rubbing off on me and Pops as she called up the system. “You feeling okay, Iana?”

“Just having to go to the bathroom a lot more,” I said with a shrug.

“Very typical,” Dr. Lennox assured me. “But the morning sickness has stopped?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Sometimes if I eat something bad, I puke, but I think that’s the case for people who aren’t even pregnant.”

“That’s true,” she said, keying into the system and motioning to Pops where it would appropriate for him to stand. “Okay,” she said, getting some of the gel and fixing up the wand with some plastic wrap. She then put the wand into the gel and positioned it onto my stomach, which I’d quickly managed to expose to her. “Ah! Here we go,” she said, as the tell-tale whooshing sound filled the room.

“The heartbeat,” I whispered, feeling overwhelmed with a jolt of happiness as I reached for Pop’s hand. “Wow… Still can’t get over how amazing that sounds.”

“You have a strong baby growing inside you, Iana,” Dr. Lennox told me with a smile. “And you wanted to know the sex, is that correct?”

I nodded immediately; this I had to know. “Yeah, Dr. Lennox. I want to know the sex,” I replied, hoping that my voice wasn’t shaking too much.

“Okay,” she replied, adjusting want for a moment, the smile widening a little on her face. “Well, Iana, looks like you’re going to have a baby girl sometime in late-February, early March. How does that sound?”

“A girl,” I whispered, shaking my head. Everyone around me had tried to, and almost did, convince me that it was a boy. But they were wrong; it was a girl. I was having a girl, and I found my smile was broadening by the second as I just stared at the monitor. “Hi, Baby Girl,” I said, feeling a little silly as I said it, reaching out towards her. “It’s your mama. I love you so much,” I went on, the tears nearly blinding me then, but I knew that, even though things seemed to be so uncertain, especially right now, that we were both in this together, and with that in mind, we were both going to be okay.


	2. A Sea Change

_“Cara Hastings,” she said, approaching me directly, in her matching navy blazer and skirt combo as her expensive patent leather heels glinted in the sunshine as she put out her French-manicured hand. “You must be Iana.”_

_“I must be,” I replied, taken aback at her polished appearance as I shook her hand._

_“And you must be Murphy, Iana’s mother,” Cara went on, sticking out her hand to my mother and shaking it. “Wonderful that you could be here to support her daughter.”_

_“As her lawyer, it’s my job.”_

_Cara looked at me then, almost as if she was taken aback. “Was your mother not aware of our conversation?” she asked, her brown eyes looking worried._

_I shook my head immediately then, making a mental note to ask who did Cara’s hair, as the curly blonde locks would be the envy of anyone who respected hair care. “She’s aware, don’t worry,” I assured her, and Cara smiled at me. “She’s here as my mother, while you’re here as my official and only attorney.”_

_“Of course, part of my strategy is having an entire legal team, but we can work out the kinks later,” she said, transferring her high-quality brown leather briefcase to her other hand. “I know Sally must be expecting you, and she doesn’t tolerate lateness.”_

_I nodded. “Sure,” I replied, following in Cara’s wake, and doing my best not to give into the glare that I knew my mother was giving to my back._

_We followed Cara through the less-than-savory lobby area and towards the elevator, which had to have been close to forty-years-old. Thankfully, even though it seemed to squeak slightly when we entered, it didn’t give us a problem as Cara pressed the correct button. It lurched into action then, bringing us up five floors before depositing us out on floor six, where a sign directed us to Sally’s office._

_“Sally?” Cara asked, knocking on the door with the back of her hand and letting us in. “It’s been a long time.”_

_“Hey, Cara,” Sally said, a tight smile on her face as we stepped inside. She got to her feet, her natural weave all out and ready for business as she motioned for all of us to take our seats. She brought over a file close to her then as she sat back down, her dark fingers going through the paperwork meticulously before she came to the correct one. “Iana Gallagher-Blomqvist, charged with attempted murder in the first degree, assault and battery in the first degree, and aggravated assault resulting in a coma-like state. And I see that you pleaded not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect; you’re ordered to undergo court mandated therapy…” She nodded to herself for a moment then before she reached into her desk and produced an ankle bracelet. “This one should fit.”_

_I sighed, lifting my leg and placing it onto Sally’s desk with a loud thud. I heard my mother gasp from behind me, while Cara laughed, and Sally didn’t look surprised by my actions. I nodded at the ankle bracelet then, and then to my leg. “Let’s get this over with,” I said._

. . .

“I’m sorry that I’m not having a boy to carry on the family name,” I said to Pops as we drove away from the hospital.

Pops shook his head. “Don’t apologize. I’m just happy that the baby seems happy. She’s growing all right and meeting all the milestones… How big is she now?”

I gripped onto my steering wheel then, willing for the bile not to rise in my throat. “We don’t discuss it.”

“Why?”

“Because, if we do, I’ll ruin my car’s upholstery,” I replied.

Pops nodded. “Point taken… The yellow fruit, right?”

I nodded, gritting my teeth. “Mmm-hmmm,” I said.

“Thinking of any names yet?”

“I promise, I won’t saddle my kid with a name like Destiny or some shit like that,” I replied, and Pops laughed aloud. “Destiny Hope Milkovich. Fuck no!”

Pops slapped his leg then, throwing back his head and howling with laughter. “Fuck no! No granddaughter of mine is having a name like that!”

“I second that,” I replied, coming to a stop at the light in front of us, and placing a hand upon my stomach. “Guess I just didn’t know how exhausting this was all gonna be…”

“Hey,” Pops said, reaching out and touching my shoulder. “You can’t let those dreams get to you, kiddo. You can’t.”

“I know,” I said quietly, choking back sobs then as my eyes filled with tears. “I know I shouldn’t but it’s so hard to think that one false move and Colin…”

“That son of a bitch is never coming after you, Iana,” Pops said firmly. “Over my dead body. It’s just not gonna happen.”

I nodded stiffly then, pressing down onto the gas pedal as the light turned green, bringing my car forward into the intersection. “It’s just a lot right now,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I mean, even just a few weeks ago, I was so looking forward to college…”

“You can still go to college, kiddo, if that’s what you want,” Pops told me gently. “We’ll figure it out. Besides, most people don’t start until they’re eighteen anyway…”

I scoffed as I continued driving down the street. “I’m not ‘most people’, Pops. None of us are most people. This entire family doesn’t consist of most people.” I lowered my eyes to my knuckles which, while healed, were still stiff from when I’d attacked Terry. “Just wish I’d never gone off my meds…”

“You can’t blame yourself.”

“Who can I blame, then? Genetics?” I asked, my tone bitter. “Christ. I mean, if Terry had done or said anything, like run to the fucking cops and told them what I did… It would’ve been my second offense, Pops; my third if they took my arrest last May into consideration…”

“Nicholas got those charges dropped and thrown out.”

“So? They didn’t give a fuck about it when his old record came to light. Who’s to say that someone within the force couldn’t have done the same to me?”

“You’re a Milkovich. So, we run on the other side of the law. It’s not a problem.”

“It’s different for me,” I said quietly. “For one thing, I’m a woman…”

“Yet you’ve got the strength of a Milkovich man,” Pops put in.

I smiled ruefully. “Oh, that’s very comforting,” I replied. “And, for another thing, I’ve got a pretty big responsibility showing up in all our lives next winter. A fucking baby,” I whispered as we drove past The Alibi Room. “I’m fucking pregnant,” I said quietly, almost as if I was truly recognizing that fact for the first time. “Jesus…”

“You’re going to be a fantastic mom, Iana.”

“Am I?” I asked, shrugging my shoulders as we entered our neighborhood proper, and as I drove down the street. “I sure as hell had a good example of that…”

“Murphy may not be perfect, Iana. But she does love you…”

“Love,” I scoffed, pulling up in front of the house and shutting off my car. I pulled my keys from the ignition and slumped back against my seat as I rubbed my temples. “Love… She didn’t… I mean, she doesn’t fucking love me, Pops.”

“How do you figure?”

“She constantly asked me for shit, Pops. Watch the kids, pick this up for me, do this, do that… I raised Clayton and Fionn, and what thanks do I get? A pity trip to New York. Sure, I self-exiled myself from the house, but it was only because I was sick and tired of the bullshit. I know that she and _him_ work, but it’s more than that,” I told him, my voice quiet as I raised my eyes to his slowly. “I’m not Aunt Fiona.”

Pops nodded. “I know.”

“I don’t want history fucking repeating itself,” I said. “It would’ve, had she not kicked Tommy to the curb…”

“I would’ve killed him eventually, Iana…”

“How? The only reason why you’re here is because of her.”

“I would have figured out how to get back.”

“Yeah, sure. For Uncle Ian, right?” I guessed, picking at a stray thread upon the fabric of my steering wheel.

“Yeah. And for you,” he said softly, and I raised my eyes to meet his again.

“What?”

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, Iana, but you’re not unloveable.”

I shook my head. “Fuck you,” I replied, getting out of the car.

“Hey,” he said, getting out after me and stopping me along the sidewalk. “I never fucking want you to think that, do you hear me?!” he demanded, and I shook my head, looking away from him then as tears continued streaming down my face as I allowed my emotions to get the better of me once again. “You’re my daughter, and next to Ian… Fuck. You’re both tied for first in my life, Iana. You’re my daughter, the only child of mine that I’m in contact with who likely wasn’t poisoned against me,” he went on, and I finally permitted myself to look at him. “I’m never gonna let anything happen to you, because I fucking love you and my husband more than anything in the world. Nothing’s gonna change that, and the sooner you understand that I’m not going anywhere, the better.”

“You’re… Not gonna leave?” I whispered.

Pops shook his head. “Fuck no. I’m done running. My life is here.”

I took a step forward then and threw myself into his arms, sobbing into his shoulder. “I’m sorry that I feel this way,” I whispered. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, kid,” he replied, gripping me tightly against him. “You don’t have to feel this way anymore, I promise. I’m not leaving you. As long as you need me, I’m right here.”

“I’ll always need you,” I replied automatically, my voice quiet. And, for a moment, I didn’t know if he heard me or not. However, Pops gripped me a little tighter then, and I knew that I had my answer to that thought.

. . .

_“Under employment you wrote that you’re a waitress at Patsy’s Pies?”_

_I was sitting in the finely upholstered chair that Cara used for her clients, just across from her finely-polished maple wood desk. I watched as Cara’s long, tapered fingers keyed in information to the new document for my case, as my eyes drifted around her office, which boasted floor-to-ceiling windows, a flat screen behind her desk, mini bar on glass table and small chrome fridge just below that, and a massive maple bookshelf, complete with all kinds of law books, but_ Torts _was probably the most proudly displayed among them._

_“Yeah, I’ve worked there for a while,” I replied. “A few months, give or take. My mom started paying me under the table last summer for odd jobs, but I just made the waitress job after my last birthday.”_

_Cara nodded, efficiently typing in the information. “And you live primarily with your mother and father, is that correct?”_

_I nodded. “Yeah, primarily. He’s not my biological father,” I told her, and Cara’s dark eyes snapped to mine._

_“He’s not?”_

_I shook my head at her. “No. Nicholas Blomqvist adopted me when I was three, right after he and my mother got married.”_

_“Are you in contact with your biological father?”_

_“I am, yeah.”_

_“Who is he?”_

_“Mickey Milkovich,” I replied, and her typing slowed for a moment then. “He’s also happens to married to my mother’s twin brother; my uncle, Ian.”_

_“I see that you like to keep it in the family,” she joked._

_I forced a laugh out then; I knew that Cara wasn’t intending to be cruel, but I also understood that I shouldn’t allow myself to be so touchy. “He and my uncle were together for years. Let’s just say that one drunken night in Mexico, with a little too much tequila, is the reasoning behind why I’m here,” I said, leaning back in my chair and extending my leg then, the ankle bracelet glowing red, letting my know that it wasn’t sure about my meeting with my lawyer, but Sally had assured me that it was fine._

_“That couldn’t have been easy for you,” Cara said gently, “growing up with that knowledge. I don’t know how I would have reacted…”_

_I sighed. “I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. Pops is great; we’re really close. But my mom? She was told that she couldn’t have children, so I was a happy accident. Then she had four more kids with her husband and…” I shrugged._

_“Bad blood there?”_

_I bit my lips. “No, not really. I don’t really hang out with my younger two siblings, Carla and Charlie, very much. Nicholas’s parents take them a lot…”_

_“And the other two siblings?”_

_“Clayton and Fionn,” I replied. “I helped raise them.”_

_“But you’re only three years older than them…”_

_I swallowed then, feeling suddenly claustrophobic as I remembered every little detail of what the boys and I had been through from such a young age. “It was a hard time.”_

_“Does it have anything to do with your mother’s marriage to Nicholas temporarily falling apart, plus her quick engagement to one Tommy Matthews, now a disgraced cop?”_

_I nodded stiffly, tightening my jaw, almost as if I was willing my entire body not to give way to the wave of sadness which came over me. “Yeah…”_

_Cara pushed away from her computer then and leaned forward slightly on her desk, her brown eyes filled with seriousness. “Iana, if there’s something you’ve left out because you don’t think it’s relevant, you can let me be the judge of that. If it isn’t relevant, than attorney-client privilege keeps it from getting out there.”_

_“I don’t trust a lot of men in the world,” I said quietly. “Other than my brothers, plus Nicholas and my pops and my uncles and cousins…”_

_Cara nodded. “I can understand that. It’s never a bad idea to be wary or cautious when it comes to men. A lot of them have done despicable things over the years, some of them getting away with it, and while it’s morally reprehensible, it’s our job as women to stick together, and to help each other out, however and whenever we can.”_

_“I’m a survivor,” I said quietly then, not looking up at Cara, and focusing entirely on the sheepskin rug that her maple desk was placed upon._

_“Of abuse?”_

_I nodded. “Yeah. Neglect, physical, emotional, and sexual.”_

_“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Iana.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_“Who was behind the sexual abuse?”_

_“My former middle school principal, and Tommy Matthews,” I replied. “My principal raped me when I was thirteen, and Tommy… Well, I wasn’t raped, but I was assaulted… The assault included inappropriate touching from the time he and my mother started shaking up to the time she kicked him out…”_

_“Who knows about these assaults?”_

_“Pops and Uncle Ian know about my rape,” I replied. “But nobody else knows about that. I think Pops knows about Tommy’s assaults, but I haven’t said anything…”_

_“And the physical abuse?”_

_“My mother’s father, Frank, hit me a few times growing up; he was drunk when it happened, so it wasn’t a big deal. We all fucking hate him, so…”_

_“And the emotional abuse and neglect?”_

_I raised my eyes to hers then, unknowing what would happen if I answered her, but also knowing that I needed to get the answer off my chest. “My mom,” I replied._

. . .

I felt my eyes snap open then, more nightmares of the pre-trial, Cara, and other things from that period of time flooding my mind. I checked my phone, seeing that it was after six, and that I had to get to work in three hours. With all hope of sleep gone, I got out of bed and headed down the hallway for a shower. I’d crashed at Pops and Uncle Ian’s for the past three nights, and would be heading over to Franny and Ezra’s that weekend. As I gripped my towel in my hand and adjusted the shower’s temperature to one of my liking, I mulled over in my mind my schedule for that day, knowing that Franny and I were expected for the breakfast and lunch rush, before getting off at four-thirty to see Uncle Lip and Mandy later on that night.

After washing off the last of the residue of sleep, I got out of the shower and towel-dried my hair before I wrapped the piece of terry around me and made my way back down the hallway and into the borrowed bedroom I spent a lot of my childhood and adolescence in. I rolled my shoulders as I shut the door behind me, the nervous tick slowly but surely getting the better of me as I walked over to the chest of drawers and attempted to pick out something that I could lounge around in before I had to change for work. Finding a makeshift tank top and shorts pairing that I would never be caught dead out of the house in, I slipped into these before I headed down to the kitchen and opened the fridge, ignoring the bottles of beer and opting for some milk, knowing that it was a good alternative for the baby.

I drank it straight from the carton, chugging it like there was no tomorrow, finding just how much more I enjoyed it, now that I was pregnant. I had only really had it with cookies, or bowls of cereal, over the years, but now, the sweetness from the teat of a cow seemed like liquid gold to me as it went deeper and deeper down my throat. I smirked slightly at the thought, which proved difficult, due to the carton smashed into my mouth, and I was so distracted that I didn’t even hear someone coming downstairs.

“Hey, hey!” came Pops’s voice then, managing to get the carton away from my mouth without spilling anything.

“ _Mmmm_!” I cried out, slightly annoyed, my mouth still full.

Pops held the carton away from me then, smirking slightly as I wiped off my upper lip with the back of my hand. “I don’t go shopping for another few hours, and Ian and I need some of this in our coffee.”

“Ian and I need some of this in our coffee,” I muttered to myself, purposefully elevating my tone to that of a very young child as I crossed the kitchen and pushed myself up onto the counter. I turned around then and opened the pantry, finding a box of crackers and bringing them down and chewing on them. “What are you doing up so early?”

“I could ask you the same question,” Pops replied, capping the milk carton and returning it to the fridge. “You don’t work until after nine. It’s barely seven now. You feeling all right?”

I shrugged, continuing to nibble at the crackers. “Can’t complain.”

Pops leaned against another counter as I spoke, scrutinizing me in a way that only a loving parent could as the sun continued to rise around us in the kitchen. “No, you’re not all right.”

I sighed, leaning back slightly so that my head leaned against the cupboard. “Pops, please. Just once, leave it alone…”

Pops dragged a hand over his face. “You know I can’t do that, kiddo. Come on. We always do this but in the end, we come together and you tell me what’s bothering you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Jesus. It’s not even a big deal anymore…”

“Again with the nightmares?”

I shrugged. “Off and on, yeah…”

“Christ, Iana. You need to sleep because you’re pregnant. And you’ve got a job at the diner. You may have put off college, young lady, but you still have responsibilities.”

I nodded. “I know what’s happening to me, Pops,” I continued, stuffing another cracker in my mouth before I groaned in disgust, tossing the box back into the panty. “Christ. I’m only four months pregnant and I look like a fucking beached whale…”

Pops sighed, a smile playing at his lips. “You do not look like a beached whale, Iana…”

I scoffed, hopping off the counter, my back seizing up in pain as I planted my feet onto the ground a little too quickly. “I’m convinced,” I groaned, placing my hands upon the small of my back and arching it slightly, “that this little girl has a twin lodged somewhere in there, and that Dr. Lennox couldn’t pick it up in the damned ultrasound…”

Pops smirked. “I think Dr. Lennox would’ve caught that.”

I sighed, crossing my arms as I leaned back against the counter. “My mother was I twin. I was a twin. I have twin brothers. Who’s to say this isn’t a twin?” I asked, jabbing a finger in the direction of my belly. “The odds of this baby being a twin is like, I don’t know, double or nothing at this point…”

“Iana, I’m wondering just how much this lack of sleep is getting to you…”

I sighed, my shoulders slacking then as I rubbed my eyes, knowing that exhaustion was truly plaguing me now more than ever. “Nothing I can’t handle, Pops…”

“You sure?” he asked, reaching out then and squeezing my shoulder, and I momentarily stiffened, something that he and I had in common.

I nodded then; my neck jerking along as I forced it to move. “Yeah,” I assured him then, fixing a smile onto my face as I looked up at him. “I can handle it.”

. . .

_“So, we’ve officially reached day seven since you hired me,” Cara said, sitting on the opposite end of the couch in my parent’s living room, on her first home visit, as I’d worked a shift at the diner earlier and was feeling tired. “You’ve been to school every day this week, and haven’t missed work once. You also had your first appointment with the court-mandated psychiatrist three days ago,” she went on, smiling at me. “Care to share?”_

_I pulled my legs automatically towards my chest, wrapping my arms around them in a protective manner. “I thought the lady gave you notes…”_

_Cara nodded. “She did, of course. I read them over yesterday when I was on break from court,” she told me gently. “But I want to hear how it went from her point of view. Obviously, it’s too soon to make a diagnosis, but she knows you’re feeling things, and she’ll likely be able to come up with a result that will curry favor with the judge, especially since you pled not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect.”_

_“Right. That,” I said quietly, resting my chin on my knees._

_Cara sighed, obviously wanting me to give her something; I knew she was there to help me; hell, I was the one who took the initiative to fire my mother and hire her myself. “Please, Iana,” she went on then, her voice far more gentler than ever before, and I slowly raised my eyes to hers. “I am here to help you. Can’t you see that?”_

_I sighed, knowing that giving her something, anything, could potentially break my case wide open, and, given that the psychiatrist said it would help, it was worth a shot. Then again, Cara could’ve already seen this in the notes provided for her, and maybe she thought it was a bad idea, given that she hadn’t necessarily brought it up. Of course, she wanted_ my _thoughts on the appointment, not the doctor’s…_

_“Iana?”_

_I nodded then, letting her know that I was formulating an answer in my mind, but also knew that I would have to break it to her gently. “I haven’t told anyone the whole truth about Colin Monroe,” I told her, my voice quiet._

_Cara nodded. “I figured as much,” she said quietly. “I took a few psychology courses during my time in law school, and although I didn’t minor in it, I received top grades, so I know what I’m saying when I tell you that I knew you were holding something back.”_

_“I was,” I replied._

_“Okay,” she said, nodding her head again, thinking that it would be a means of encouraging me to speak to her, but it didn’t matter either way. “It’s all right, Iana. Whenever you’re ready, go ahead and tell me.”_

_I swallowed then, knowing that I had to say something, otherwise I felt I would burst. This secret that I’d kept closely guarded for such a long time, and it wasn’t even one that Pops was aware of, for I was quite sure that, if he had, Colin Monroe would’ve ended up dead. “Colin Monroe’s father, my former principal, got me pregnant,” I tell her then, and Cara looked a combination of horror-struck and devastated at this mighty secret that I’d finally managed to get off my chest to someone in my life._

. . .

I arrived at Uncle Lip and Mandy’s building after my shift at Patsy’s, and after I’d swung by Pops’s and Uncle Ian’s place to shower off and make myself presentable. As I stepped towards the elevator, the person inside of it must’ve pressed the button, so as I could enter myself. I looked to see who my fellow rider was, and I raised my eyebrows then, knowing that I could’ve been in for an awkward interrogation session.

“Hey, Iana,” Penny said, grinning at me and smiling at my stomach.

I blinked, surprised at the friendly welcome. “Hey there,” I replied.

“You look amazing!” she gushed.

I smiled, the awkwardness leaking out of my pores. “Thanks,” I said softly.

“Oh, please. I know what my douchebag older brother said to you,” she said as the doors closed behind me. “And let me just tell you, right off the bat, that I don’t approve. I am completely, totally, one-hundred-percent on your side here.”

I shook my head then, pressing my floor button and putting myself into a corner, taking a good look at Penny’s designer handbag, which of course went perfectly with her outfit. “Even though I lied my ass off to him?”

“Please. You weren’t in a relationship. Sure, friends shouldn’t lie to friends, or sleep with their friends, but that’s the point, isn’t it? You weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, and it’s not like he’s the father,” she replied.

I laughed bitterly then. “No, he most certainly is not. Didn’t stop him from calling me a gold-digger, though. I am a liar, but I sure as shit ain’t a gold digger. I may be a ghetto girl from the South Side, but I take care of my shit,” I went on, wrapping my arms protectively around my stomach, “and no man is going to get in the way of me being a mother.”

“Even the father?”

I scoffed. “Son of a bitch pity-proposed to me with his goddamned gaudy-as-fuck football class ring!” I yelled then, and Penny laughed aloud at that. “Ran back to UCLA with his tail between his legs when I said no. Fucking pussy,” I muttered.

“But he proposed?”

I tossed my hair. “Yeah. So? Not like the sex was even halfway decent…”

“So, my brother’s better in bed, then?”

I rolled my eyes then, a laugh escaping my lips. “Uh, I don’t think we should be discussing how good versus not good your brother is in bed…”

Penny considered that for a moment. “Yeah, you’re probably right… You here visiting your aunt and uncle again?”

I nodded, whereupon the elevator dinged, this time letting me out on my floor first. “Yeah. I’m expected there now, actually.”

“Right,” Penny said, hesitating for a hot minute. “Look, Iana, I don’t give a shit what happened between you and my brother. I’d still like to be friends, if it’s not too awkward for you.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s not too awkward. I’d love to keep being friends.”

“Great,” she said, getting out a notecard then and scrawling something on it with a pen with pink ink before she handed it over to me. “My personal number and email. Call me!” she said, forming her first and pinkie finger into a phone before putting it against her ear, and waved me off as the elevator doors closed.

Shaking my head in amusement, I pocketed the card and finished walking down the hallway before I turned the corner, finally reaching Uncle Lip and Mandy’s apartment door. I knocked on it three times before the door swung open, and I grinned at who was standing there. “Hey,” I said to Mandy, welcoming the hug as she pulled me inside.

“Come on,” she said, pulling back from me then and shutting the door behind me, before she pulled me into the living room.

Immediately, I saw the banner up on the wall behind the couch, which read _Welcome Baby Milkovich_ , as well as several other little wrapped gifts on the coffee table. I shook my head at the little gathering, trying not to laugh at my family’s sweetness at throwing all this together. I stepped further into the living room then, and was suddenly bombarded by Pops and Uncle Ian, who grabbed me by the arms and pulled me towards the couch, sitting me on the center cushion, while my mother, Nicholas, Uncle Lip, Mandy, Aunt Debbie, Franny, and Ezra looked on in a combination of amusement and reluctance.

“Okay! Everyone, okay!” Franny said, holding up her hands and making sure that everyone went quiet, the constant chatter immediately dying down. “As cousin and best friend of Iana, the mother-to-be, I just have one question… Am I going to have a nephew or a niece?” she asked, and everyone immediately looked from Pops to me, knowing that we, in addition to Dr. Lennox, were the only ones who knew the answer for sure.

I scoffed then, turning to look at Pops, but he spread out his hands, letting me know that since it was my baby, it was automatically my call. I rolled my eyes before looking back at my family then, knowing that there was no way I was getting out of there until I gave them something, but the sex of the baby seemed to be all they wanted… “And, I take it that telling you that my baby has a really strong heartbeat won’t cut it, right?”

“Not if you want a piece this beautiful cake me and Lip made,” Mandy replied, nodding to the double-decker Funfetti cake that was placed on the kitchen counter behind them, and my mouth immediately began to water at the notion of my favorite cake.

“That looks delicious,” I replied.

“So, tell us, honey,” my mother said, and my eyes snapped to hers, knowing that she would want to hear this, despite her reservations about the whole thing.

“All right, all right!” I said, throwing up my hands in mock-surrender as I got to my feet then, smirking slightly as Pops and Uncle Ian stood on either side of me, just to ensure that I wouldn’t go toppling over. “It’s a girl, are you happy now?!” I demanded then, and ran into the kitchen before any of them could stop me, whereupon I grabbed a fork from the drawer, and took a bite of the cake, savoring it before I was dragged backwards for the obligatory hugs and the chorus of congratulations from everyone in the room.


	3. Full Disclosure

“You’re insane,” I tell Franny as I watch her dressing that night.

“Why?” she wants to know, looking over her every angle in our shared bedroom mirror. “I think he’ll like it…” She adjusts her black strapless top then, making sure that it doesn’t show an inch of her midriff, and pulls down her black skirt in an attempt for it to reach her knees. “I mean, he will like it, won’t he?”

I rolled my eyes. “Jay Langdon owns the hottest restaurant in the area,” I replied, punching my pillow and running my hands over my stomach. “Plus, he’s _older_ than you…”

“So?” Franny asks, adjusting the curls she’d put into her red hair that night before crossing over towards her door, where she stored her shoes, and chose a pair of black heels. “Liam was older than you, and you still fucked him.”

“Whoa, hold on a minute,” I said, straightening up then and finding it difficult to do so. “Have you actually fucked Jay?”

Franny scoffed. “No, of course not.”

“Franny,” I said, my voice firm.

Franny slipped on her heels and peeked over her shoulder at me, knowing that she couldn’t get away with those four words. “A couple of hand jobs, okay? Oh, and I gave him a blowie last week when we went to that club.”

“Jesus, god!” I cried out, putting my hands over my stomach. “She can hear you, you know?!” I said, fixing Franny with a look.

She giggled, tossing her hair with that Gallagher attitude and walked over to her dresser, where her jewelry box was. “Yeah, I know, Iana. I had a baby, too.”

I sighed. “Really,” I muttered, running my hands over my stomach again. “So, where’s Jay taking you tonight?”

“His place, Domino,” she replied, naming the upscale Italian restaurant that Jay had built with his own two hands; or designed, rather, with the help of his younger brother, Leonardo, an architect, who was Clayton and Fionn’s idol, as well as the head of their little young architect’s group. “I mean, this is date number seven,” Franny said, biting her lip as she put her diamond studs in her ears, an eighteenth birthday gift from Aunt Debbie. “You think I can fuck him tonight? It wouldn’t seem too desperate, would it?”

I rolled my eyes. “You know as well as I do that I don’t date. Except for that momentary lapse of judgement freshman year…” I sighed, knowing that the night Ezra was conceived was not a topic that Franny and I needed to get into. “Well, let’s just say that I’m probably not the right person to ask…”

“If you say so,” she muttered, leaning on the footboard of her bed. “But be honest with me… I mean, when was the last time you even got laid?”

“Please,” I muttered, the baby moving to sit on my bladder again, so I quickly moved to get up from the bed to empty it. “I’m hardly thinking about that right now…”

“Really?” Franny asked, crossing her arms and turning her back as I walked into the small en suite her bedroom boasted. “I remember when I was pregnant with Ezra, I was fucking horny all the fucking time…”

“Well, whoop-di-fucking-do for you, Franny Gallagher!” I said, pulling down my jeans and sitting on the toilet, clapping my hands like some kid at a parade. “Good job!”

She sighed. “You coming next week?”

I rolled my shoulders, making sure I was done before I contemplated standing up. “Coming? Am I to assume that you signed me up for something without permission?”

“Come on, Iana. Don’t be like that.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll try to make an effort. So, what are you talking about?”

“The Patsy’s Halloween party,” Franny said, her tone slightly impatient.

I scoffed then, running my hands over my stomach. “I don’t know…”

“Come on, Iana. Live a little.”

“Please,” I muttered.

“I’m serious!” Franny cried out then, and I knew she was contemplating stamping her foot in a moment of pure, unadulterated exasperation. “Things’ll be different in a few months when Baby Milkovich gets here.”

“Christ. I conceived my daughter in the employee locker room during a one-night-stand. I think that’s enough living a little for one lifetime…”

“And you were conceived in a bathroom in a tequila bar in Mexico during a one-night-stand. For the love of, god…”

“Don’t bring her into this,” I replied.

“Boo-fucking-hoo! Come on, Iana,” Franny begged. “I need you with me on this…”

“I don’t know,” I said quietly, running my hands over my stomach. “You know as well as I do that the only costume I could possibly fit into is a beached whale.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

I sighed. “Fine. We’ll go as attractions for Sea World together,” I told her.

Franny laughed. “Well, Jay’ll be here in half an hour,” she said, waiting for me to finish up before she turned around again. “You’ll be okay with Ezra tonight?” she asked, watching as I washed my hands.

I nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

“I’m sorry that my mom couldn’t watch him. I know you were hoping to go back to Uncle Ian and your pop’s place tonight.”

I shook my head, turning off the water and flinging my hands over the sink before I made a grab for the towel. “It’s fine,” I replied, flashing her a smile. “This’ll be good for me. Give me some practice when I pop the little angel out,” I joked.

“Please, that thing is half-Gallagher,” Franny said as I stepped back into the bedroom. “It’s a little devil and you know it.”

I rolled my eyes, perching on the edge of the bed. “Please. I helped raise Clayton and Fionn and I think I did pretty well.”

“Girls are harder,” Franny reported. “Remember when my mom literally jumped for joy when we found out I was having a boy?”

I smirked. “Of course. She cut the damn cake.”

Franny laughed, checking her phone. “Oh! Jay’s going to be here soon. He texted,” she said, and quickly wrote him a message back before grabbing her sleek black cocktail purse. “Come on. I need to show you where everything is for Ezra.”

“All right, all right,” I replied, moving to follow Franny out of the room, knowing that my pregnancy brain was slowly but surely getting the better of me and, when it came right down to it, I needed all the help I could get.

. . .

_“And nobody knows about this?”_

_I was still sitting across from Cara, but had, by this point, wrapped the couch blanket around me in a moment of uncertainty. “No one knows,” I said, my voice hollow. “If my pops had found out about it, let’s just say he’d be locked up twenty-five to life for murder. You’ve searched his records, Cara. You know what he’s capable of.”_

_“I also managed to find out some information on your brother.”_

_“Which one?” I asked. “I’ve got four.”_

_“Your biological father’s son, Yevgeny,” she replied._

_I shook my head at her. “I don’t want to know, honestly,” I replied, my shoulders slacking then as I considered it for a moment. “I just want to focus on my case. Anything that I can tell you that’ll help, I will.”_

_Cara nodded. “Of course… I guess my next question is, where is this child now? Or did you end up terminating the pregnancy?”_

_I sighed. “The child doesn’t exist.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Really. My body aborted the fetus for me. I was only about six to eight weeks in. I begged my family doctor, Dr. Lennox, to refer me to some other doctor. I gave her some dumbass reason, but she fucking did it…”_

_“What was the doctor’s name?”_

_“Dr. Mitchell Travers,” I replied. “He operates out of Wicker Park. I needed to get out of the area, if you know what I mean. Just… I just didn’t want to deal with the fact that I could potentially run into people I knew…”_

_“And nobody knows about this?”_

_I shook my head again. “I haven’t told anyone, and I certainly didn’t mention it to Principal Monroe; didn’t want to face him again…”_

_“And rightly so,” Cara replied. “But how did you even get there? It’s almost forty minutes from here by car…”_

_“The bus,” I replied. “It was a good hour each way. I made up that I was working at the library, which was a reasonable excuse. But I got all my homework done for that week the week before, just in case something happened…”_

_“And would Dr. Travers still have your records?”_

_I shrugged. “Probably. He had to take the placenta out. It wasn’t coming out, after I lost the baby, and I felt like I was going to die…”_

_“Jesus,” Cara replied, writing everything down. “Well, I’ll get in touch with him. Which hospital does he work at?”_

_“Saint Elizabeth,” I said softly._

_Cara quickly concluded her notes for that day before she closed up her folder and lowered her eyes back down to my ankle bracelet. “How’re you holding up?”_

_I raised my eyes then, slightly surprised when hers met mine so quickly. “Given all that I’ve been through in my life, Cara, in this moment, I can’t complain.”_

. . .

Jared “Jay” Langdon, former executive chef of and now merely the owner of Domino Ristorante, was thirty-years-old; he was six-feet-three, had finely styled, closely cropped, black hair, and a mustache and beard to match. He always matched his socks and ties to his suits, and tonight, he was sporting a dark silver number, along with patent leather black dress shoes. Always polite and the charmer, he brought a dozen white Queen of the Nights, Franny’s favorite flower, along with a box of chocolates for Ezra and the latest pregnancy pillow for me.

My eyes popped when he handed it over. “Wow. Thanks,” I said, knowing that I would be getting a lot of use out of it. “You shouldn’t have…”

Jay smiled. “That’s all right, Iana,” he said, his rich Italian accent doing wonders for Franny, whose knees shook whenever he spoke.

“I just have to show Iana a couple of things in the kitchen,” Franny said, doing her best to remain in check as she fingers her flowers gently. “Ezra, be polite while Mommy and Aunt Iana are in there, okay? Play host.”

“Yes, Mommy,” Ezra said, saluting her before he took Jay by the hand, who looked quite amused by the display. “Mommy says you’re Italian,” he said, pulling him beside him on the couch. “Is that true?”

Jay laughed. “I am, yeah. I was born in Sicily, in Palermo.”

“But Aunt Iana says your last name is English.”

Jay smirked, catching my eye from where I stood beside Franny in the kitchen, watching her fill a vase with water for the flowers. “She’s right,” he replied. “My father was a British businessman, and he met my mother when his company sent him to Palermo. He opened a division there and, thankfully, Alessandro, took over the business. Then, I went to culinary school, after learning everything my mother taught me, and my little brother, Leonardo, got to be an architect.”

“Isn’t he great with him?” Franny whispered, setting the flowers on the counter.

I nodded. “The best. Maybe you and I should go out, and leave Jay here with Ezra…”

Franny rolled her eyes. “Nice try,” she said, playfully shoving my shoulder before walking over to the fridge. “Because it’s a weekend, Ezra can have his favorite.”

“Chicken nuggets and frozen fries,” I said, clapping my hands. “That actually sounds amazing right now… Do you mind if I—?”

“Fine,” she said, knowing full well that I would just eat them whether she liked it or not. “He also has his popsicles, and you have your special ice cream.”

“Thanks,” I replied. “But I think we’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Franny said, pulling me into her arms for a hug before she made a grab for her black wrap, which she’d put down on the back of a kitchen chair. She breezed out into the living room, where Ezra was still questioning Jay, and bent over him. “Mommy and her friend Jay are going out for a while,” she explained patiently, kissing his forehead. “Aunt Iana is going to stay here and play with you. You’re going to eat dinner, have a bath, read some stories… Mommy will see you first thing in the morning.”

“Okay, Mommy,” Ezra replied, turning around to give Franny a hug. Once he pulled back, he got to his feet and took my hand, and we watched as Jay walked with Franny to the front door. “Bye, Mommy. Nice meeting you, Jay.”

“Sweetie, I told you to call him Mr. Langdon,” Franny said quickly.

“No, that’s fine,” Jay said quickly, squeezing Franny’s hand before he shot Ezra a smile. “Ezra and I are old pals. He can call me Jay.”

“We’ll be fine,” I told Franny, running my free hand through Ezra’s hair.

“Goodnight, Mommy! Goodnight, Jay!” Ezra called.

“Goodnight, baby!” Franny said before her eyes drifted to mine. “Night, Iana.”

“Night, Franny,” I replied.

. . .

_“Let’s go more in-depth into your childhood today,” said Dr. Samantha Norton, my court-appointed psychiatrist. She was of Korean and French descent, but had been born in Portland, Oregon, so she sounded as American as I did. She had pictures on her modern desk of her American husband, Andrew, along with their triplet sons, Lawrence, Paul, and Henry, along with their youngest child, a daughter, Rosemary. “Can you tell me about your first memory today, Iana?”_

_I swallowed then, shutting my eyes for a moment as I attempted to allow my mind to wander back into time, before all the heartbreak and devastation, not to mention the bad decisions I’d made, according to law enforcement. “I was three,” I said quietly. “I was walking down the street with my mother…”_

_“Did you talk to each other? Or did you just walk?”_

_“We talked, too.”_

_“What did you two discuss?”_

_“We talked about our upcoming move,” I said carefully. “She was going to move in with her boyfriend; they weren’t even engaged yet. She was pregnant.”_

_“With his children?”_

_“My twin brothers, Clayton and Fionn,” I said. “She told me that we had different fathers, my brothers and I, but that didn’t mean that she would love me any less.”_

_“Is that all you talked about?”_

_I shook my head. “No. She said that, someday, I would want to leave. Like, move out of the house and have my own life.”_

_“How did you feel when she said that?”_

_My eyes shot open. “Afraid.”_

_“Afraid?” Dr. Norton asked, shocked at my reaction, quickly writing down some more notes for my lawyer, as well as the courts. “Can you tell me why you felt that way?”_

_“Because, it felt like a rejection,” I told her, my voice shaking, as I fully became aware of what I was saying, as well as the notion that I was gripping to the sides of my chair. “I was only three-years-old, and I felt like she was telling me to get out right then…”_

_“Did she inform you otherwise?”_

_“Of course.”_

_“And what did you tell her, after the assurance?”_

_“The truth, at the time,” I said quietly._

_“And what was that truth?”_

_“That, in those moments, I didn’t ever want to leave her,” I whispered. “All I wanted was my mother, because I thought she was my ultimate protector, a woman who could do no wrong. But, I was so fucking wrong…”_

_“There’s some resentment within your relationship, I take it.”_

_I nodded, my head jerking up and down as it frequently did when I was faced with a hard truth that I even had to admit to myself. “I had a rough childhood. I was doing adult tasks from the time I was five.”_

_“And why did you have to do those tasks, Iana?”_

_“Because, if I didn’t, social services would’ve taken us away and split us up,” I said simply. “I knew how to cook, wash myself and the boys, do laundry… You name it. I was doing all that and more for them, all because my mother couldn’t be bothered.”_

_“And when you say, ‘couldn’t be bothered’, what do you really mean, Iana?”_

_“I mean, she was shacking up with her new boyfriend and I was exiled across the street with my brother’s to my uncle’s house.”_

_“Didn’t your uncle take care of you?”_

_“He’s an EMT,” I replied. “Lot of work hours that he can’t change. I had to become the boys’ mother, because somebody else would’ve, and I couldn’t do that to them.”_

_“Do what to them, Iana?”_

_“Make them feel the way I did.”_

_“And how did you feel?”_

_“Rejected,” I said quietly. “Tossed out like yesterday’s garbage. All I could think of was keeping us together, and keeping them alive. I’m just glad that nobody ratted us out. My mother would’ve blamed me for it, I know she would’ve…”_

_“Why do you think that, Iana?”_

_“It’s easier to blame me…”_

_“And why is that?”_

_“Because I was unplanned,” I said quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. “Unplanned. She said she wanted me, but whenever she looks at me, it’s like she’s staring at a fucking swatch of wall behind me or something, like I’m not even there…”_

_“Have you told her how you feel?”_

_I shook my head. “Wouldn’t do any good.”_

_“Why do you think so?”_

_“Because her fucking husband would back her up,” I replied without hesitation. “He may have adopted me, but my pops is my dad. Not him. Never him.”_

_“Is there tension there?”_

_“Please. Of course there is! He’s convinced that his wife can do no wrong. In his eyes, yeah, but in other people’s, fucking watch out. He’ll defend her to the end.”_

_“It sounds like you want someone to defend you to the end, Iana.”_

_I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”_

_“Nobody in your life does that for you?”_

_“My pops does. And Uncle Ian. They love and support me.”_

_“And you don’t think your mother does?”_

_I sighed. “I think she wants to, but she’s unable to understand me fully, which develops into frustration and impatience. And, unfortunately, fights…” I trailed off for a moment then, and stared at a section of carpet that was mussed up from the wheels of Dr. Norton’s desk chair. “I mean, all families fight, though, don’t they?” I asked, my voice slightly hollow then as I forced myself to question her. “I guess I’m used to the hard shit by now… What’s another couple of years?” I whispered._

. . .

Once I gave Ezra his dinner and his bath, I gave him some time to clean up his room, telling him it would be a nice surprise for Franny the following morning. I made a plan to check on him in a few minutes, and he knew to call me if he had any trouble. I sat down on the couch in the living room, pulling up one ankle at a time and rubbing it. I sighed; my ankles were swollen and my back was constantly sore, and I didn’t readily have anyone to complain to about it. I knew that if I’d accepted Andy’s marriage proposal, that it would’ve been the sole highlight of the union, blaming him for this happening to me.

I managed to wedge my phone out of my pocket, and apart from Pops and Uncle Ian just checking in, to Mom’s constant begging for me to return home, as well as Uncle Lip and Mandy’s invitation to come over the following day, I had a text from Penny. Perplexed, I looked it over, surprised that she wanted me to call her. Shrugging it off, and making a mental note to tell her that I couldn’t talk long, I pressed her number and listened to the rings, before she finally managed to pick up.

“Iana!” she cried out.

“Hey, Penny,” I replied, pushing myself further into the couch cushions. “You texted that you wanted me to call. This is me calling.”

“Right, right—sorry, million things to do before the new spring line comes out in April,” she told me, deliberately apologetic. “They delivered some fabric samples today, and things are not boding well for these jackets…”

“Yeah?” I asked, wondering if this is why she called—to vent about problems about her future product line. “What’s the matter?”

“Oh, they were supposed to come in Creamy Coral,” she explained, and I made a mental note that it seemed like a color, “but instead they came in Sassy Salmon. So many people depend upon these to go with their complexion! Salmon doesn’t look good on anyone,” she told me, her voice firm.

“I don’t think I even own anything salmon,” I replied.

Penny giggled. “Good,” she said. “But, I’m so sorry—got distracted. I actually have another purpose for my phone call.”

“Do you?” I asked. “Hate to be ‘this person’, but I’m watching my cousin’s son, and I really shouldn’t leave him alone much longer. He’s cleaning his room…”

“Ezra?” Penny asked, a lightness to her tone. “I remember you showing me his picture. He’s a beautiful boy. Let me know if your cousin wants some modeling gigs for him. We have the new summer line on the confidential judges’ runway starting in February. He’d be perfect.”

“I’ll let her know,” I told her. “So, what’s going on?”

“I’m having a Halloween get-together next week at my suite,” she said, and I immediately opened my mouth to protest. “And before you say anything, no. Liam is on a business trip to New York and he won’t be back until the day after.”

“I see,” I replied.

“Some gala,” Penny explained, answering my silent question.

“Really?” I asked, trying not to sound too interested.

“Of course, he’s _got_ to have Bella Martinez, Senator Martinez’s daughter, on his arm. What with him running for office and everything, it’s seen as good press to have his flesh and blood seen at a gala with a billionaire.”

“Billionaire?”

“Made his first billion this summer,” Penny said, shrugging it off like it didn’t matter.

“You don’t sound too impressed.”

“Please. I became a trillionaire six months into this fashion gig,” she replied. She sighed then, and I heard her shuffling papers in the background. “Well, listen, you don’t need to RSVP right this minute,” she assured me. “Just keep it in mind and, if you’re free, let me know.”

I nodded. “Will do.”

“All right,” she went on brightly. “Give Ezra a big hello for me. See you soon, yeah?”

“Yeah. Soon,” I told her, hanging up, knowing that I would have to plan a coffee date or something with Penny, because she’d planned the last four. Shaking my head at how negligent I’d become since getting pregnant, I pushed myself to my feet than and managed to waddle down the hallway towards Ezra’s bedroom. “I don’t hear a lot of cleaning going on in there,” I joked, making sure to keep the humor in my voice. “That would really be too bad, because Mommy likes surprises, and you wanted that orange popsicle,” I went on, pushing the door open fully then, and gasping at what I saw. “Ezra?” I said, immediately advancing into the room, seeing Ezra splayed out on the carpet on his bedroom floor. “Ezra, this isn’t funny,” I told him, my voice firm as I turned him to the side then, and immediately drew back when I saw that his eyes were red and tearing up severely, along with a good amount of vomit next to where his mouth had been. “Ezra!” I cried out then, and got a mere wheeze in response. My heart pounding in my ears, I made a grab for the box that lay next to him, which had contained the chocolates that Jay had given him just two hours before. I looked down at his hands for a moment, seeing that they were covered in chocolate. Scanning the ingredients, I saw that the chocolate contained nuts, which was the cause of Ezra’s reaction, due to his peanut allergy. “Shit,” I whispered then, my voice shaking as I dropped the box and grabbed my phone back out of my pocket.

“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

“It’s my nephew,” I replied, not wanting to get into formalities here. “I was watching him, and I had to take a phone call…”

“What seems to be the matter with him, miss?”

“He ate some chocolate a friend of the family gave him,” I went on, my voice shaking. “He’s deathly allergic to nuts…”

“Have symptoms of an allergic reaction set in?”

“Yeah,” I said, trying to keep my voice in check. “He’s got red, watery eyes. Plus it looks like he vomited a little. And when I tried to talk to him, he wheezed…”

“All right, miss, everything’s okay,” she said gently. “Do you have an epipen?”

“No,” I replied. “We’ve never had to deal with this. He had one attack as a baby and since then, his mom has been hypervigilant about this sort of thing… Dammit, I shouldn’t have taken that phone call,” I wailed, covering my face with my hands as tears formed in my eyes.

“Miss, it’s all right,” the woman said. “What’s your name?”

“Iana,” I replied. “Iana Milkovich.”

“And what’s your nephew’s name?”

“Ezra Gallagher,” I said softly.

“And how old are you and Ezra?”

“I’m sixteen,” I went on. “Ezra’s three.”

“We’ve got your location via your cell phone,” she went on, obviously wanting to keep me as calm as possible here. “You stay with him, as the paramedics are en route. They should be there in a couple of minutes.”

“Please hurry,” I whispered, my voice shaking all over again as I dragged my hand down my face, the tears coming along for the ride. “Please hurry…”

. . .

_“Dr. Norton says you’re making progress.”_

_I looked up at Cara then, but her eyes were firmly fixed on her computer screen, as she did her best to type up Dr. Norton’s notes from our last session into my electronic file. “She said that, did she?” I asked._

_Cara nodded. “Extreme progress,” she went on, flashing me a quick smile before she began typing again._

_I nodded back, the movement still stiff. “But…?”_

_Cara sighed, finishing a paragraph or something before she pushed herself away from her computer to look over at me. “Look, there’s no easy way to say this,” she said, placing her chin into the palms on their hands, “so I’ll just be direct about it.”_

_“Okay?” I said, unknowing what she was going to say._

_“Dr. Norton feels that you’re holding back with him.”_

_I blinked. “Excuse me?”_

_Cara bit her lip. “She feels as if you don’t trust her completely. She wanted me to assure you that, just because she works for the court system, doesn’t mean that she’s not there to help you as well. And she wants to help you, Iana.”_

_I scoffed, crossing my arms and looking away from her. “Whatever.”_

_“Look, I know you went through some trauma, and I’m very sorry to hear that,” Cara informed me carefully._

_I nodded. “Thanks.”_

_“But, I also need you to understand that Dr. Norton and I need certain pieces of information in order to present the best case possible.”_

_I lowered my eyes. “Yeah, I get that…”_

_“So, no holding back anymore,” Cara went on, and my eyes automatically snapped to hers at the directness of her tone. “I need you to tell me anything and everything that you think would have made this attack against Colin happen.”_

_I bit my lip. “Well, both him and his father assaulted me…”_

_“Yes, we’ve established the familial pattern, and that’s helpful,” she said. “And we’ve discussed how devoted you are to Franny, and that it was technically defense of a third person twice over, due to the fact that you saved her and her unborn child from certain harm.”_

_I swallowed then. “I just…”_

_“What?”_

_I sighed then, my shoulders trembling slightly as hot tears escaped my eyes. “What would it take for this to all just go away?” I whispered._

_“Dr. Norton confirming that you’re mentally ill somehow,” Cara replied simply. “Once the judge hears her report, and if she confirms the mental illness, we’re far more likely to get the verdict we all want here.”_

_I shook my head then, trying to square my thoughts away as I turned and looked out the floor-to-ceiling windows. “And, if it doesn’t come back in our favor?” I asked._

_“We shouldn’t even think about…”_

_I locked my eyes with Cara. “I need you to be straight with me,” I told her, my voice firm. “How long could I get, if this all goes south?”_

_Cara sighed. “If the charges of attempted murder attached to the assault stick, we’re looking at a potential sentence of life in prison,” she replied._

_A shuddered breath escaped my lips then. “Wouldn’t be so different than what I had to face as a child,” I told her, my voice quiet. “And there’s sometimes the rule of time off for good behavior. I come from a criminal family; not like I couldn’t handle myself…”_

_“You could get killed, Iana,” Cara said quietly._

_I laughed bitterly then, and shook my head. “I’ve died a thousand times over already,” I told her, deliberately not looking at her. “Once, for every time Tommy touched me. Another for Principal Monroe’s assault. And a third time, when I found out his fucking child was growing inside me as a direct result of said assault… I’m basically a walking corpse. Sure, I’ve got a family and a few good memories, scattered here and there, but it’s different, now that I’ve had my childhood stripped away from me at least three times over…”_

_Cara mulled that over for a moment. “I think I have a solution for you.”_

_“Yeah?” I asked. “Like what?”_

_“Confrontation,” she said simply, and my eyes snapped to hers._

_“What are our options?”_

_“You’re curious?”_

_“If it’ll help me, yeah,” I said quietly._

. . .

I mechanically walked the paramedics through what happened as they carried Ezra’s body through the house and placed him onto the stretcher. I grabbed jackets for the two of us and had stepped into a pair of sneakers before heading out. I was permitted to sit in the ambulance with the EMT’s, feeling my phone in my hands. I hadn’t had the guts to contact Franny yet, unknowing what her reaction would be.

We burst through the hospital doors, and even though I attempted to follow Ezra, the doctors insisted on checking me over, due to my stress levels, mid-term pregnancy, and young age. I was quickly cleared, but forced to stay in a bed until my heart rate got under control. I could still feel it pounding in my ears, but, thankfully, I managed to get my phone back. I felt my hands shaking then as I picked it up, and dialed Franny’s number.

“What?” came her voice, a soft hiss, into the phone. “You’re so lucky I had to go to the ladies’ room, Iana. I don’t want Jay to think I’m rude…”

“Ezra and I are in the hospital,” I replied, knowing that I had to rip off the Band-Aid as quickly as humanly possible.

“What?” Franny demanded then after a moment of silence. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Anxiety attack, I guess, induced by stress.”

“What did you do with Ezra tonight?!” she cried out.

“Nothing out of the ordinary!” I shot back. “I told him to clean his fucking room and then he ate the whole goddamned box of chocolates your boyfriend gave him!”

“Chocolates?” Franny whispered. “So, he’s got a stomach ache? He puke? Why the hell would you bring him to the hospital?!”

“Because the chocolates had fucking nuts in them!” I growled into the phone. “Ezra had an allergic reaction, so I called 9-1-1, and now we’re here.”

“Fuck,” Franny whispered, and I could just see her, standing there in the ladies’ room, leaning up against the sink counter, and dragging a hand over her face. “Okay. I’ll go tell Jay right now and we’ll head on over.”

“Okay,” I said, my voice quiet.

“Iana, it’s not your fault,” she said quietly.

I shook my head then, despite knowing that she couldn’t see me. “Wish I could believe that,” I replied, before I lowered the phone and hung it up.


	4. The Blame Game

I was sitting in the hospital bed, hands folded, phone tossed where I’d left it, staring dead ahead, and the hospital workers seemed to think that leaving me alone was the best way to deal with me at the moment. Now that my heart rate had slowed, the notion that they wanted to monitor me was a nuisance, to say the least, and yet I truly didn’t know what I wanted in those moments. I felt myself snapping to attention, however, when the curtain was pushed back, and I looked up at the nurse who stood there.

“Miss Milkovich?”

“Yeah?” I asked, knowing that, despite everything, I shouldn’t appear rude to her. “Is everything going okay?”

“Your nephew is just fine this morning,” she assured me, and I nodded, relieved. “But there’s someone here to see you…”

“Here to see me?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said softly. “After last night, we weren’t sure if you wanted us to call anyone. Your cousin gave us a phone number, and we called it, so now someone’s here.”

I swallowed then, knowing that Franny meant well, but unsure as to whom she would have called to be here for me. “All right,” I said. “They can come back.”

“Awesome,” the nurse said, letting go of the curtain and stepping back. “She’s given the go-ahead for you to go back.”

I watched as the curtain ruffled slightly, alerting me to someone standing just behind it, and I found myself straightening up automatically when the person arrived. “Oh,” I said, slightly surprised to see them. “Hi.”

“Morning, sweetheart,” my mother replied.

. . .

_The pains that I was experiencing were not too unlike period cramps, so I decided that it was nothing I needed to worry about as I walked down the street, back towards home, after an uneventful day at school. Keeping your mouth shut for several weeks after you were raped was difficult, but not impossible. I remembered seeing Pops and Uncle Ian coming back to the house that night, their faces covered in blood and their knuckles bruised and purple…_

_“Please, tell me you didn’t fucking kill them!” I said, my voice shaking as I worked double time to get some wet rags for them, my hands trembling as I offered them up._

_“No, we didn’t fucking kill him,” Pops replied, dragging the rag all over his face. “Jesus, we know how to beat a guy’s ass without killing him…”_

_“She doesn’t need to hear this,” Uncle Ian put in._

_“The hell she doesn’t,” Pops said, tossing down the rag he held and holding out his hands for another one. “You’re a Milkovich, Iana,” he told me, his voice firm as he continued wiping off his face, “and my daughter. I know a thing or two about what we can handle…”_

_“For Christ’s sake, Mick, she still a kid,” Uncle Ian said, hesitating from completing the ritual of cleaning off his face._

_“I’m not a kid.” The firmness in my tone caused the both of them to look at me. “I may be young, but I haven’t been a kid since Mom dumped me, Clayton, and Fionn here.”_

_Uncle Ian sighed. “Iana…”_

_“No,” I went on, in the same tone of voice, “I’m not a fucking kid. Pops is right. Despite how fucked this all is, I can handle it,” I said, my eyes shifting over to him. “I would tell you if I couldn’t handle it. You’re not hearing me say it, so I can.”_

_My mind snapped back to the present then as another jarring pain enveloped me then, and unlocked the front door of the house and stepped inside. Looking around, it was plain to see that nobody was around, and I kept my teeth clenched to prevent myself from crying out as I shut and locked the door behind me. I walked up the stairs as fast as I could, shutting and locking myself in my bedroom before I tossed my backpack down onto my bed and made my way towards the bathroom, shuffling my feet as they went from wood floor to tile, unknowing what I would find as soon as I was able to look._

_Stumbling into the bathroom, I was completely overcome then with another jolt of pain, which caused me to double over and grip onto the bathroom counter. I lifted my head then and gazed at myself in the mirror; my hair was sticking to the sides of my face and neck, while my eyes were wide in fear, my skin completely white. I felt my hands shaking as I struggled to keep a good grip on the counter with one hand, while my other hand made a grab for my pants, yanking them downward then as it felt as if something was attempting to escape from me. I lost my grip on the counter then, falling to my knees then, before I swung my legs out from under me and yanked off my pants all the way._

_I let out a scream then as whatever it was came out of me, and my eyes became lost in the pool of blood that came out with it. My heart was beating in my chest then, as I came to the logical conclusion as to what it was. I shook my head then, swallowing as I considered what to do with what had happened to me. I crawled over to the counter again, and got out a towel, and wrapped up the larger pieces, my eyes blinded by tears of fear and pain. Then, I moved them to the top of the counter, while I fetched a rag and the tub of bleach, meticulously cleaning the white tiles of my bathroom, until their original color remained. Once I finished, I took a quick shower to clean myself up, and threw the salvageable things into the laundry, while I gathered up the rest into a garbage bag._

_Then, I went into my bedroom, picking up my phone and pressing it to my ear._

_“Kiddo?”_

_“Pops,” I said quietly, my voice a monotone._

_“You okay?”_

_“Fine,” I said, not wanting to get into the details._

_“You sure?”_

_“Of course,” I said softly. “Listen… I need your help. No questions asked,” I said, staring at the garbage bag beside me._

_“Sure, kid. Whatever you need… What do you need?”_

_“I need you to toss something for me…”_

_“Okay?”_

_“And for god sakes,” I whispered, “don’t look into the bag…”_

_“Sure, Iana. Whatever you say…”_

_“And don’t tell anyone,” I said, my voice breaking. “Please don’t tell anyone.”_

_“I won’t tell anyone,” he told me._

_I nodded. “Good. And never mention it again,” I said, my voice shaking slightly._

. . .

I swallowed then, staring at my mother as she sat down in the chair provided beside my bed, setting her purse in her lap. “What are you doing here?”

“Franny called… Baby, why didn’t you call any of us?”

“I called Franny,” I replied with a shrug.

“Yeah, but, baby,” Mom said, her voice desperate, “why wouldn’t you call me? Or Mickey? You know you can always come to us…”

“Do I?” I asked, my eyes locking onto hers. “Do I know that?”

She blinked. “Yeah…? Why wouldn’t you think so?”

I sighed, picking at the frayed edge of my hospital blanket. “Son of a bitch… Don’t fucking make me say it, Mom. Please.”

“Sweetie, if you think you can’t come to me, and then refuse to give me a reason why, then I can’t help you.”

“I think I made it abundantly clear that I don’t want your help, Mother,” I said, raising my eyes to hers again. “You fucking outed me as bipolar. How could you do that?!”

“Because he had a right to know…”

“He wasn’t my fucking boyfriend, Mother.”

“But you were sleeping with him…”

“And this is why I never made my sex life your business, Mother. Key words: My sex life. Not yours, mine. I mean, please. You were fucking Nicholas before you were even together! Don’t be a fucking hypocrite, Mother, more so than you already have been!”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Iana.”

I sighed, flopping back onto my pillows. “What?”

“What do you think you’ve been hiding from me? I assure you, it’s not anything.”

I shook my head, still refusing to look at her. “Whatever.”

“I know about Dr. Travers.”

Immediately, I felt the hairs on my arms stand on end, but I still wouldn’t allow myself to look over at my mother. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then just listen,” she said firmly. “A few months back, Nicholas and I were on that case together, a month before you got pregnant,” she replied, and I could vaguely remember the extra work hours she’d been putting in, and not just at the diner. “We seized Dr. Travers’s records, because there was evidence, when three of his minor male patients came forward, that there was inappropriate behavior.”

I sighed. “I see.”

“We seized all records that had minors involved, even female patients,” she went on, “which is when I was shocked to discover that you were a patient of his.”

I shrugged. “Great fucking job. Real detective work there…”

“It said that you went in there because you were experiencing a fever, heavier than normal bleeding, and abnormal cramping,” she continued. “In Dr. Travers’s notes, it stipulated that you had a placenta still inside you. Like I always tell my family, I’m no medical expert, but after having five children myself, I know what a placenta is. You can’t have a placenta come into contact with your insides unless you’re pregnant, or have been pregnant,” she said, her voice quiet now as I slowly turned to look at her. “Were you pregnant once before this, Iana? Is this your second pregnancy?”

I sighed then, hunching my shoulders slightly then as I pushed myself upwards into a sitting position, running my hands along my stomach. “Yeah,” I said quietly, and her eyes widened slightly at me being so upfront about it, which wasn’t too difficult now, considering that she’d effectively backed me into a corner. “This is my second pregnancy.”

“You were…”

“Fourteen,” I said, my voice raw.

“Christ, Iana,” she whispered. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I would’ve had to have told you that I was raped,” I replied, my voice shaking. “After the son of a bitch raped it, everything just happened so fast…”

“You could’ve told me, Iana…”

“Clearly, I can’t tell you anything,” I snapped back. “Considering your display when it came to whatever I had going on with Liam. You blabbed to him one of my most closely-kept secrets, one that you had no business sharing with him…”

My mother dragged her hands over her face. “So, we’re back to this…”

“Yeah, we’re fucking back to this,” I said. “And we’re going to keep going back to this, until you get it into your head that you were wrong.”

She sighed. “Iana…”

“No,” I shot back. “No. I don’t want to hear your fucking sob story about how you were kidnapped and adopted without Frank’s permission. I don’t give a flying fuck. I’m done,” I said then, feeling as if a massive weight had been pulled off my shoulders.

She shook her head. “You don’t mean that.”

“Actually, I fucking do,” I replied. “And if you want to fire me for it, fine. Luckily I’ve been saving up my money. But I am sick and tired of pandering to you, and walking on tiptop whenever it comes to you being so fucking sensitive. I’m really sorry you had a rough go of it in your early life, Mom, I really am, but you’re not alone. You’re not. I had a fucking shitty go of it, too, so don’t come to me and tell me yet again that your childhood was fucked, because so was mine. And I don’t tell every person about it. I don’t. I may not be perfect, but I sure as shit own up to it, and if I do something wrong, I fucking apologize. You don’t. You play the sad backstory card, or hide behind your husband, and I’ve had enough. Unless you’re prepared to right your wrongs, I don’t want my daughter being raised around that. I’m sorry,” I said then, knowing that my goal wasn’t to hurt her, “but I have to look out for my little girl.”

“Why are you doing this?” she whispered.

“Because you were supposed to be fucking looking out for me,” I whispered. “You say that getting with Tommy was all to get Nicholas back… But what about the rest of us? Did we matter so little to you that, once Mason said he’d pull you out, that you ignored him, determined to get the love of your life back?”

Her eyes flashed then, and I knew that she was wondering who could’ve possibly given me that information, but decided not to press it. “You’ll understand when you fall in love, Iana,” she replied, her voice gentle, despite everything I’d said to her.

I shook my head. “Never gonna happen,” I replied. “Any chance I had for a normal life died when I had to step into the motherhood role. I was five fucking years old,” I whispered then, and she lowered her eyes. “Do you have any idea of how difficult it was for me? Sure, you had to raise me on your own for a couple of years there, but you had supportive family all around you, plus a generous income, and nobody breathing down your neck, threatening to take me away from you forever. I learned how to forge Uncle Ian’s signature on so many things, just so that the boys wouldn’t get taken. I had to change their diapers, make their meals, do their laundry, and hold them when the fell down during the day, or cried themselves to sleep at night. They weren’t afraid of the dark; they were afraid of being fucking taken away, because our mother was too busy with another man to give a flying fuck.”

“It wasn’t like that, Iana. Really…”

I sighed. “I don’t need to know what it’s like,” I replied. “Just…please. Go.”

She sighed, getting to her feet. “If that’s what you want,” she said softly, putting her purse over her arm and walking towards the edge of the curtain. “Iana?”

“What?” I demanded, my voice shaking.

“Just so you know… Last night, it wasn’t your fault,” she said, deliberately attempting to make her voice gentle, before she walked around the curtain and out of sight.

. . .

_“What did you have in mind?” I asked, my voice slightly hoarse then as I considered what Cara had in mind. “You implied that it would help…”_

_“It could help,” she replied, “but the pain and emotions behind it could, unfortunately, set your treatment backward. I’ll speak to Dr. Norton about it, to get an expert opinion, but she’ll likely want to do whatever you want here.”_

_“So… What were you thinking here?” I wanted to know, given that she needed Dr. Norton’s approval on this one, and wondered why that was._

_Cara sighed, leaning back slightly in her chair; it was the opposite of an intimidation tactic, and I knew then that she didn’t want to potentially frighten me with what she was proposing. “I have some pull within the prison system,” she said quietly._

_At once, I straightened up in my seat at her words. “Some pull?” I asked, unknowing as to what she was suggesting. “How do you mean?”_

_“My half-brother, Axel, is a warden at Cook County Correctional,” she explained. “He’s my mother’s older son, so not a lot of people know of the connection, due to the different last names we’ve got. In fact, not many people actually know about him,” she said._

_“Jesus. A warden?”_

_Cara nodded. “My dad was a cop, and my mom was a lawyer, just like me. We’re a law enforcement family, what can I say?”_

_I felt myself automatically pulling my lower lip into my mouth. “So, what exactly are you suggesting here, Cara?”_

_“Confrontation,” she replied._

_I blinked. “Excuse me?”_

_“What I’m suggesting here is extremely unorthodox, Iana, believe me, and I don’t encourage this with all of my cases, but something tells me that this one is, shall we say, a special circumstance we’re up against here,” she explained. “What I’m telling you is, I think we should speak to Dr. Norton about you potentially confronting Tommy.”_

_I found myself gripping the edges of my seat then. “What?” I whispered._

_“He’s the catalyst here,” Cara said gently. “He’s the reason why you distrust male authority figures in the first place, with Principal Monroe coming in as a close second. When you were a very little girl, Tommy Matthews took something extremely precious to you, which was your childlike innocence, which all children should possess but, unfortunately, due to certain situations, many lose day after day, year after year.”_

_I bit my lip then, feeling my leg beginning to shake as I considered facing Tommy then, for the first time in almost a decade. “I’m scared,” I whispered._

_“I would be with you the entire time.”_

_I locked my eyes with hers. “And you think it’d be…beneficial?” I asked._

_She nodded. “I do. Of course, like I said, we’d discuss it with Dr. Norton first, but she would likely ask you how you felt about the entire arrangement before we make an ultimate decision on the matter.”_

_I sighed. “No.”_

_Cara blinked. “What?”_

_I shook my head at her. “No.”_

_“No to…? What?”_

_“No, we don’t have to talk to Dr. Norton.”_

_Cara looked apprehensive then. “Iana, if we were to do this without the opinion of a court-appointed therapist…”_

_“I don’t give a rat’s ass about Dr. Norton’s opinion,” I replied, straightening up in my chair then, my voice hard. “She’s a nice lady, and a good doctor, but I’m saying that I don’t give a fuck. Put it on the record that it’s me saying this, and that I wasn’t swayed or influenced by anyone. I_ want _to go and see Tommy,” I said, and Cara did her best not to look completely shocked at my words and my opinion. “It’s time to confront a demon, before I let the waiting game potentially get the better of me,” I said, forcing my voice not to shake._

. . .

Given the conversation that my mother and I had had at the hospital a few days previously, I was not about to attend the Patsy’s Halloween party. I’d been crashing at Pops and Uncle Ian’s place for the past several days, not because I was scared to be around Ezra, but because, despite what my mother said, I still blamed myself for what happened. As I sat there, in my borrowed bedroom on Halloween night, doing my best to keep my back straight against the pillows, I ran my hands over my stomach, trying to calm the churning within.

“Kiddo?”

I turned at the sound of Pops’s voice, as well as the knocking on the door. “Come in,” I said, and did my best to straighten up even further, plastering a smile on my face as he and Uncle Ian stepped into the room. “Hey,” I said, and the pair of them mutually smiled at me, for even I knew that they were as excited about the baby as I was. “What’s up?” I raised my eyebrows then at the box they were holding, which they placed on the foot of my bed. “Um… What’s this?” I asked, as I pointed to it.

“Why don’t you open it and find out?” Uncle Ian asked.

I gave them both an amused expression before I pulled the box closer to me, and slowly eased it open. I felt myself gasping then at the beautiful, vintage-looking, black cocktail dress that was in the box, along with a pair of black heels and a string of pearls. “What did you guys do?!” I cried out then gleefully, getting to my feet and picking it up, amazed that it would fit around me, and was relieved that I wouldn’t have to dress as a beached whale.

“Well, we knew you wanted to go to Penny’s party at Lip and Mandy’s building,” Pops said, and I turned to look at him. “But we also knew that picking a costume may not be an easy thing to do right about now…”

“We found a great website that caters to pregnant women,” Uncle Ian explained. “It had all of these amazing costumes for reasonable prices, and, after careful consideration, we thought this one would look amazing on you.”

“You’re both too sweet,” I said, setting the dress down before I walked towards them, and pulled them both into my arms. “I love you guys.”

“We love you, too, kid,” Pops said. “Now, get yourself ready so you can go to that party and drink a shit-ton of virgin cocktails!”

I saluted them both. “Can do!”

Once they’d left the room, I put on the dress, heels, and pearls, before doing my makeup and styling my hair in an appropriate manner. Underneath the dress was a black feather boa, which I thought just made the ensemble, and I wrapped around my arms and neck before I grabbed my car keys, cell, and purse and headed downstairs. Pops and Uncle Ian applauded my entrance, and I rolled my eyes at the humor of the situation, before I hugged them both and stepped out into the slightly chilly Halloween evening.

I’d told Penny the night before that I was going, but that I wasn’t likely to dress up, but Penny told me that it didn’t matter. She was just wanting to spend some time with me, she said, as these parties were all about investors and other people that would fawn over her product line, wanting a sneak peek or a modeling gig. Since I didn’t fall into any of those categories, she said that she was excited to have me there. Plus, I was likely to be the person there closest in age to her and, despite the notion that we were from entirely different backgrounds, she always told me that there was never a dull moment with me.

I drove across town towards Uncle Lip and Mandy’s apartment building, letting them know that I was there and would likely stop by after the party, which made them happy. I parked in my usual spot upon arrival, slipping out of the car and moved quickly, not wanting some drunken idiot to get their head smashed by thinking I was for sale. I stepped into the building and crossed over towards the elevator, waiting for the box to arrive and, once it did, walked right in and pressed the top floor button. I found the entire thing amusing, as the doors closed and the elevator took me upstairs, that I was actually attending an event in a suite.

I stepped out into the hallway once the elevator brought me to the proper floor, walking down the wide corridor and towards the immaculate-looking door that led to Penny’s suite. I knocked on the door then, and I could hear the pumping beat of music from within. There were heels on the polished hardwood, and the door swung open, and Penny, dressed like an angel, looked slightly shocked at my appearance in the hallway. Granted, I’d told her that I likely wouldn’t be coming in costume, and all the times we’d hung out, I hadn’t worn makeup.

“Iana,” she said, her voice a squeak.

“Hey, Penny,” I said, grinning at her. “Everything good?”

“Y-yeah,” she said.

I nodded. “Great. Can I come in?”

She nodded then, standing aside for me to enter, and I walked in, seeing the other various party guests dressed up, likely only wanting a favor or something from Penny by doing so. “Look, Iana, I’m glad you’re here, but…”

“But what?” I asked, not bothering to move deeper into the suite, unknowing what she was being so hesitant with me. “You invited me…”

She nodded. “I know I did, but…you should know that…”

“Iana, we’re running out of champagne in the kitchen,” said a familiar voice, which snapped me to attention then, causing me to turn around, and for me to lock eyes with a certain individual I’d managed to avoid for months.

I swallowed. “I see what you were talking about now, Penny,” I said, hating how strained my voice sounded then.

“Penny…what’s going on here?”

“Nothing!” Penny hissed. “Had you kept your schedule the way it was, this wouldn’t have happened, and you know it,” she said, moving to stand by my side and putting a supportive arm around my shoulders. “Now, aren’t you going to greet my friend and guest?”

He swallowed then, hating as much as I did being backed into a corner. “Of course,” he replied, obviously attempting to keep the bitterness from his voice as he forced himself to turn his silver eyes onto me. “Iana.”

“Liam,” I replied, my voice as stiff as his had been, before I turned to Penny. “What’s the hardest stuff I can drink while pregnant?” I asked.


	5. Council of War

I was so exhausted from attempting to keep my distance from Liam the night before that I crashed at Uncle Lip and Mandy’s place that evening. I woke up in time for a shower, and Mandy considerately loaned me a work appropriate outfit, and promised to get my costume cleaned up for me. I got downstairs and into my car, knowing that I had to get to work and quickly, not looking forward to any potential conversation between my mother and me. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I drove, remembering how Liam’s eyes had bored into me the night before, and just wanting to forget the entire evening.

I dragged my hand over my face as I sat at a stoplight, about ten minutes away from the diner. It was a half hour before my shift began, and although I felt slightly odd wearing Mandy’s clothes, I was relieved that she’d managed to find something that fit me. I ran my hand briefly over my stomach then, and felt instant relief when my daughter flipped over inside me, almost as if she wanted to reassure me.

“Hey, Baby Girl,” I said quietly to her, smiling to myself as the light flashed green, and I stepped onto my gas pedal, propelling me through the intersection. “Mama has to talk to Grandma Murphy today about… Stuff. Let’s see if Grandma Murphy fires Mama,” I joked as I continued driving, and smiled all over again as she flipped around and around inside me.

I drove the rest of the way to work on autopilot, before I pulled into the alleyway behind the diner and parked in one of the spots. Hopping out of my car, I stepped into the back entrance and hesitated for a moment, spotting Franny beside her locker. “Hey,” I said, my voice filled with apprehension as I forced myself to step forward.

Franny turned around then, and smiled at me. “Hey yourself,” she said, leaning up against her locker and crossing her arms. “You gonna stand there all day, or are you gonna ask me how my date with Jay went last week?”

I blinked then, trying to keep level-headed as I crossed over towards my own locker, taking off my borrowed jacket and hanging it up inside. “Jesus. Ezra could’ve died and you’re standing there, acting like nothing happened.”

Franny reached out then and squeezed my shoulder, and I turned around, looking at her. “You are my best friend and Ezra’s godmother. I know that it wasn’t your fault,” she told me gently. “You have a life, too, and you’re allowed to have a life…”

“But I took a fucking phone call,” I said, trying to keep my emotions in check. “I shouldn’t have taken it… I…”

Franny pulled me into her arms without hesitation and held me against her. “What are you really upset about here, Iana?” she whispered.

“That Ezra could’ve died,” I said quietly.

“Well, yeah, of course, but he didn’t,” she told me, her voice firm. “Now, what are you really upset about?” she wanted to know, pulling back from me then and staring at me. “Come on. I want to know what’s going on in that head of yours.”

“What if the same thing happens to her?” I whispered, one of my hands automatically going to my stomach. “I mean, sure, Ezra’s more durable than a baby at this stage… But what if things go totally wrong with her? What if she’s delicate and something terrible happens? What if she’s allergic to nuts, too, or something worse, and she…?”

“And what if things go totally amazing?” Franny asks, and my eyes snap to hers. She smiles at me and takes a napkin out from her apron, drying my eyes without hesitation. “Things could go bad, and things could go well. You know as well as I do that being a single mom isn’t easy, or you’re going to know, very soon. She’s coming in four and a half months, and I know you’re scared, partially because you never thought you’d ever want something like this in your life, but Baby Girl is coming,” she went on, squeezing my shoulders. “But, you’ve gotta know, no matter what, that I’m going to be here for you. We’re all going to be here; we’re gonna crowd around you until we’re stifling you, if it takes that much, just so you know that we’re here. Because we all love you a whole hell of a lot, and nothing’s gonna change that. Nothing.”

I hesitated for a moment, wanting to get my voice under control before I spoke. “So… Before I totally ruined your date last week, how was it?” I asked.

Franny laughed aloud then, relieved that I seemed to be returning to my old self. “Jay was _such_ a gentleman,” she gushed.

I grinned back at her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she went on. “He opened every door for me, took my arm when we walked into the restaurant together… Pulled out my chair, told me little anecdotes about things on the menu, plus his childhood and family. Didn’t make the conversation all about him; he wanted to know about me and Ezra; even you.”

I laughed aloud. “Me?”

She nodded. “Of course you,” she replied. “He knows you’re my cousin and my best friend, so he assumed we’d be close.”

“When did you see him last?”

“He came over for dinner last night, as a matter of fact. Brought some takeout that he made from the restaurant, and made something special for Ezra.”

“You didn’t come to the party last night?”

Franny sighed and shook her head. “Didn’t feel like it, plus Ezra’s been feeling a little needy lately, and understandably so. Plus, you weren’t coming…”

I sighed. “Sorry.”

“Doesn’t matter,” she said quickly. “The takeout was delicious.”

“What’d Jay bring Ezra?”

“Buttered noodles, a chicken cutlet, and baked asparagus,” she replied. “To my surprise, Ezra ate all of it, and said he wanted it again and again…”

“I’ll bet he enjoyed that,” I put in.

Franny nodded. “He did. After we read Ezra to sleep, we stayed up late talking, and he asked me something very important…”

I straightened up then, surprised. “Yeah? What’d he ask?”

“Asked me to be his girlfriend,” she replied.

“But… I thought you two hadn’t…”

She laughed. “Oh, honey, please. He pushed our reservations an hour last week so we could have car sex,” she joked. “And, let me tell you, it was amazing.”

I laughed aloud then before I could stop myself. “Okay, okay, I get it.”

“So, yeah. I said I’d be his girlfriend,” she replied. “He’s so sweet, plus Ezra really likes him, so I think it’d be good for us.”

I nodded. “Sure. I mean, if Ezra likes him…”

“Iana.”

I turned around then at the sound of the familiar voice, and tried not to show exactly what I felt when I saw my mother standing there. “Hi,” I said, automatically reaching backwards to clasp Franny’s hand.

“Can we talk for a moment, in my office? Alone?” she put in, obviously not wanting Franny around for the conversation.

“Go,” Franny said, squeezing my hand. “I’ll watch your tables. I’ve got this, and so do you,” she said softly, gently releasing my hand and pushing me forward.

“Hopefully,” I muttered to her, before forcing my legs to move as I followed my mother down the hallway towards her office.

. . .

_The clouds resembled dusty pearls as Cara and I drove from her office and towards Cook County Department of Corrections. We’d been sure to go when her brother was on shift as a warden, so as we wouldn’t be disturbed in my closed meeting with Tommy. The drive from Cara’s office to the jail itself was just over seven miles, and a little less than half an hour in driving time. Once we approached the main gates, Cara pinned in the password that Alex had presumably given her earlier that morning, and we drove inside, Cara’s silver Mercedes sleek and quiet as we pulled into a parking space._

_“Nervous?”_

_I turned and looked at Cara, who get getting her identification together, plus the temporary authority to take me as guardian ad litem into the jail itself, which she packed into her sleek leather briefcase. I shrugged. “My pops always told me to show no fear,” I said quietly._

_Cara turned and looked at me with a smile. “Your pops is right,” she replied._

_The two of us got out of the car and into the coolness of the morning, mutually slamming our doors behind us and making our way towards the main doors. Once there, Cara pinned in another code, letting us in, and we approached the first checkpoint, where we would be told to hand over anything considered contraband, before we were submitted to the the mandatory metal detector swipe. I watched all of Cara’s moves, knowing that I shouldn’t be making a mistake here, and kept my mouth shut, and only spoke when spoken to._

_“Warden Richland should be expecting us,” Cara said to the man behind the front desk._

_The man took in her suit, and I swear to god, he looked like he was thinking that it was way too overpriced to be seen in a place like this. “You a friend of his?”_

_“His younger sister,” Cara replied, not wanting to take shit from anyone._

_“Right. Who should I say is here to see him?” he asked, pulling out his walkie._

_“Caroline Hastings,” she said, her voice firm._

_“Oh yeah. The lawyer,” he said, doing his best not to roll his eyes and failing miserably as he keyed in a code, before bringing the walkie close to his mouth. “Ax, it’s Tony,” he said into it. “Your little sister’s here to see you.”_

_I couldn’t make out the garbled language on the other end, but Tony nodded a moment later._

_“Uh-huh. Okay. I’ll tell her,” he replied, before shutting off the conversation. “Ax’ll be out for the two of you in a moment.”_

_“Good,” Cara replied, fixing a tight smile to her lips._

_A few moments later, a tall drink of water came strutting into the main lobby like he owned the place, literally. He had a clean-shaven face, along with expressive dark eyes, and slicked back, black hair. He smiled at Cara in an affectionate manner, his ruddy complexion in sharp contrast to her alabaster one as he took her hands, stepping closer before kissing her on both cheeks. “I always love it when my little sister pays me a visit.”_

_“Don’t flatter yourself, Ax,” Cara replied, grinning at him before she shoved him away from her, looking back at me. “Iana, this is Axel, my big brother. Ax, this is Iana, my latest client, and the star player involved in the hottest case in South Side.”_

_“Yeah?” Axel asked, turning to look at me, his eyes reminding me of coal as he offered me his hand to shake. “Well, it’s nice to meet the girl my little sister speaks so highly about. For the last three weeks, you’ve been the topic of our Sunday dinners.”_

_“And I thought Cara wasn’t permitted to discuss certain things outside attorney-client meetings,” I said, smiling slowly at Axel as I took his hand, feeling a shock between us as our skin made contact for the first time._

_Axel looked surprised at how quick-witted I was, and calm under pressure. Nevertheless, after a handshake that was probably too long, he let me go, dragging that hand through his hair before he turned and looked back at Cara. “Matthews has been made ready for you in one of our interrogation rooms. I’ll take you there now.”_

_“Great,” Cara said, either unknowing or uncaring about the obvious attraction between Axel and I, and the three of us moved quickly down the hallway then. “How’s the prisoner’s behavior this morning, Ax?”_

_Axel shrugged. “As good as someone serving twenty-five-to-life can be,” he said. “Son of a bitch got what he deserved, if you ask me.”_

_“We didn’t,” I said, catching Axel’s eye then, and raised my eyebrows; I was looking for a challenge here, and he knew it._

_“Right,” Axel said, obviously shocked, and cleared his throat as we turned the corner. “He’s where we kept him,” he continued, moving closer to the door and scanning his I.D. badge, so that we could enter. “I’ve been given clearance to stand guard. Only you and Iana are permitted inside, and you’ve got a half hour. Fair?”_

_“Fair,” Cara replied, turning to me. “Iana?”_

_I stared through the small, rectangular window of the door, spotting Tommy for the first time. It was amusing to me, to say the least, so see him garbed in the traditional orange jumpsuit, not to mention the fact that his ankles were chained to the surface of the table, and his legs were shackled together, with one of them on the table, which was considerately nailed to the floor. “I think that’s fair,” I replied, before turning to look at Cara. “I want to see him alone.”_

_Cara raised her eyebrows. “Iana, I really think…”_

_I shook my head at her, cutting her off. “I need to do this alone.”_

_She sighed. “Look, I really think that you need to consider…”_

_“Cara,” came Axel’s firm voice then, as he placed a hand on her arm. “She needs to do this by herself. Let her do it.”_

_My gaze snapped to Axel’s then, my eyes flashing. “I didn’t ask for your help.”_

_Axel nodded. “No, you didn’t.”_

_“Fine,” Cara said, dragging a hand over her face. “But if that son of a bitch does or says anything to you…”_

_“He won’t,” Axel said, his voice firm. “He knows the drill.”_

_“And so do I,” I replied, turning to look at him again. “I’ve been in prison before; it was a hell of a sentence for me, when he did what he did. But I kept my mouth shut, just like the good little girl he thought I was. Well, she’s not here anymore,” I said, slowly reaching out for the door handle, “and he needs to know who he’s dealing with.”_

. . .

I followed my mother into her office then, shutting the door behind me before she even asked me to do so, and spread my hands. “Okay, well… I guess we had a good run.”

She raised her eyebrows. “What?”

I scoffed. “Don’t ‘what?’ me!”

“Iana…”

“No,” I went on, my voice firm, “I’m talking now. You think you can haul me back into your office like you’re a fucking principal or something, so that you can fire me? Well, don’t think there won’t be a customer or employee uprising here, Mother! In case you haven’t notice, Franny and I have been tied for Employee of the Week ever since we got hired! And I know you’re not allowed to judge those things! The customers do! They love me! So, if you think that by firing me in the back, where nobody can see or hear it, think again!”

She sighed. “You finished?”

I sighed back, crossing my arms and leaning back against the door, suddenly exhausted. “Yeah, I’m finished,” I replied.

“Good,” she replied, “because you’re not being fired.”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You’re not being fired, Iana.”

I shook my head. “Wait. I’m not being fired? Why not?”

“Did you want to be fired?”

“No!” I cried out then, shaking my head. “The tips are amazing, plus there’s your granddaughter who loves to lie between my hip bones or on my bladder to consider. I can’t afford to lose this job right now, Mother, and until or unless I manage to get to college, it’s the best I can do. I mean, despite our differences, having my mother as my boss is certainly convenient when it comes right down to it…”

“How is it?” she asked. “The pregnancy?”

I shrugged, not really wanting to get into it with her. “You know, can’t complain.”

“Something on your mind?”

I sighed. “Yeah, I guess…”

She hesitated for a moment before she spoke. “Look, honey, I know I said that I wouldn’t bring him up anymore…”

My eyes locked with hers. “Then don’t.”

“Honey, sooner or later you’re going to have to talk about that period…”

“Then, let’s make it later,” I replied, my voice firm. “Look, I get that you want to be my mom and stuff now, but, let’s face it, we need to mend fences before we can even attempt to go back to the way things were.”

“Baby, if you would just listen to me for a moment…”

“Fine,” I said, knowing that I could just scream and walk out of the room, but I knew that, deep down, I needed to try and attempt to bury the hatchet with her, no matter how long it took. “I guess you can talk. Go for it.”

“This is how it was with Frank, for the first several years after I came back to South Side,” she said quietly, and I swallowed then, picturing my maternal grandfather in all of his alcoholic glory, or lack thereof. “Look, I’m not about to tell you that Frank and I ever got past it; hell, I only ever called him ‘Dad’ once in my life, and that was after Fiona told me—over the fucking phone, thank you very much—that she’d married Jimmy. Fiona was everyone’s rock, as the oldest sibling, when I came here and realized who I was. Her, Lip and Ian, as the oldest of us all, had to be there to figure shit out and pull everyone together. Once she left, I had to step into the oldest unit and help out a punch, too, in order to keep the youngest safe from Frank. Even though I wasn’t raised with them, I knew what it was like to have resentment for someone who truly deserved it; Frank was a total failure,” she said softly. “I don’t think I’m a total failure. I’ve made mistakes like Frank, I’m a drunk like Frank, and I haven’t been there like I should’ve been, just like Frank. But I’m not a failure, Iana, and I won’t let you stand there and tell me I’m a failure. I may have fucked up a million times with you and your siblings, and I’ll probably do that a million times more, but I know I have the capability of being a damn good mother, and maybe, just maybe, if you gave me another shot, we could work on rebuilding what was fractured and broken such a long time ago.”

“It has been, fractured and broken,” I replied then, finally permitting myself to look back up at her then, knowing that she was beginning to fully understand just how much I’d been hurt. “I’ve been hurt so much over the years, Mom…”

She nodded. “I know, baby.”

“It’s just… This is all really hard,” I said, my nails biting into the palms of my hands to keep myself from crying. “I’m going to be a mom in just a few months, and all I keep thinking about is fucking everything up…”

She smiled. “I doubt you’re going to fuck everything up.”

“Yeah, but how do you know?” I asked her then, my voice shaking, despite the fact that I willed it not to. “How can you possibly know what I will and won’t do as a mom? I never wanted this life—to be a parent, to have a little life depend on you for every little thing. I never wanted it, Mom, because I lived it, for years. And a part of me still has to live it, because I’m seen as this protector who can have her brother’s backs. Carla and Charlie love me, but it’s not the same with them as it is with Clayton and Fionn—they lived through the darkness with me, whereas Carla and Charlie will never know what that’s like.”

“I know you had some dark years, sweetheart. You even had a fair few when I was back in your life, and I’m so sorry I didn’t call you on it.”

“You noticed?” I asked, my voice quiet.

She nodded. “Of course I noticed—you’re my daughter.”

“Well, why didn’t you say anything?”

She sighed. “I guess I just thought that our relationship was repaired enough that you’d come to me if there was anything wrong. Guess I was wrong.”

I swallowed then, leaning my head back against the door as I felt the tears escaping my eyes before I could call them back. “Yeah,” I said, scoffing slightly under my breath. “I guess you were wrong…”

. . .

_I wrapped my hand around the door handle before my courage could bubble away, and pushed it open, automatically drawing myself up to my full height then as I stepped into the room. I fixed a neutral expression onto my face then as the door swung shut behind me, and I watched as Tommy looked visibly shaken, like the coward he was, to see me facing him. I crossed over towards the table then, taking great delight in his shudder when the chair squealed against the ground upon me pulling it back._

_“Hello, Tommy,” I said then, fixing a smile onto my face. “Nice place you’ve got yourself here, really. I must say, orange_ really _suits you.”_

_Tommy tightened his fists around each other then; he obviously hadn’t been prepared to see me on my own, likely thinking that Cara would work as a buffer. “I hear you’ve got yourself into some trouble, Iana. I knew the whole angel act was a lie.”_

_“Even if you knew the finer details, Tommy, I’m sure you would sympathize with the man in this situation, because that’s just the kind of person you are,” I said, my tone filled with sarcasm as I looked at the pathetic wretch he was—other than a few streaks of silver in his dark hair, and a smattering of wrinkles around his eyes and mouth, the son of a bitch looked the same. “You’re a pathetic waste of a human who preys on those he considers weaker than himself. Of course, I’m not as weak as I once was, I’ll have you know.”_

_“Is that a threat?” he asked, pulling at his chains again. “I don’t think the warden would take too kindly to you threatening an inmate…”_

_“He knows our history,” I replied. “He’ll look the other way for this interview.”_

_“Your mom bring you?” he asked, looking around me, in an attempt to see out of the little window the door provided. “I was told you’d have a lawyer…”_

_“My mother is no longer serving as my lawyer, not that that’s any of your business,” I snapped back at him, causing his eyes to move back to mine. “And, even if she was my lawyer, she likely wouldn’t have approved of you coming near me.”_

_“Why?” he asked, licking his lips, which made my stomach turn. “You tell her? You tell her what I did to you when you were too little to defend yourself?”_

_I slammed my hand onto the table then, so quick that Tommy attempted to double back, but couldn’t, as he was shackled in place; the noise bounced off the walls of the small room, and I found I loved the notion of Tommy in a cage. My hand was smarting ever so slightly from the blow, but I wouldn’t allow Tommy to see such a reaction from me. “We’re not here to discuss that in and of itself,” I said, speaking through my teeth at him._

_Tommy smirked at me, obviously amused that he’d successfully managed to get a rise out of me, which likely would’ve been his primary goal. “Okay,” he said. “Not like I’m going anywhere anytime soon. What did you want to know?”_

_“I want to know why.”_

_He blinked. “What?”_

_“I want to know why you did what you did,” I told him, willing for my voice not to shake. “I want to know why you wanted to steal my childhood from me. I want to know what I possibly did to you, that would make you feel so hot for power, that you would take away something from me that I can never get back.”_

_“Cut the drama, Iana. It’s not like I fucked you—”_

_“Maybe not,” I countered, glaring at him, “but you took my childlike innocence away. From that day, my childhood was over. From the day you made the decision and left the bed you shared with my mother, walked down the hall, and went into my bedroom, and got into bed with me, and touched me, you turned from domestic abuser to child abuser. Do you deny it?” I whispered to him then, knowing that my voice was shaking, but no longer caring. “Do you deny that you touched me when I was just a little girl? I was barely five-years-old, and you did that to me. I want to know why you did that, and I want to know now.”_

_“It was so long ago, Iana. Can we just forget and let bygones be—”_

_“No, we are_ not _going to fucking forget!” I screamed at him then, slamming my hand down onto the table again. “I didn’t testify against you, you fucking asshole, so the least you can do for me is tell me why you fucking did what you did!”_

_“You should be lucky I didn’t kill your mother!” he fired back. “You should just take that and call the entire situation a day!”_

_I let out a scream then and shot to my feet, and yet I stood my ground. “Axel!” I screamed then, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to control myself. The door opened behind me, and Axel stared at me then, his eyes filled with a haunting concern that I’d seen in Cara’s eyes when I’d told her about all my dirty secrets. “Send him into the hole. I have nothing more to say to this sorry of a bitch,” I said, before I pushed past him and walked down the hallway, feeling relieved when I heard Cara’s heels clicking behind me._

. . .

After my twenty-eight week ultrasound, which Pops attended with me, things died down for a couple of weeks, and then preparations for Thanksgiving had begun. I was doing the shopping for it this year, which meant that I had the option of cooking the meal as well. Despite my ankles officially hating me, I decided to give it a shot, knowing that I would likely have to make it for my daughter in the years to come. Once shopping was completed and Pops, Uncle Ian, and I figured out where to store the turkey until the big day, I spent a good night sleeping before the big day arrived.

I headed downstairs early on Thanksgiving Day, knowing that I had eight hours until Aunt Debbie, Franny, Ezra, Uncle Lip, and Mandy arrived for the feast, which we’d tentatively set for three p.m. I got out the turkey from the sink, where we’d permitted it to have a twenty-four-hour ice bath, and began to work. Pops and Uncle Ian joined me an hour and a half later, both of them complimenting me on the harvest coffee blend I’d picked up the day before. As we worked in the kitchen, making small talk, I basted the turkey, when suddenly a felt a thump from inside me, and let out a gasp.

“What is it?” Uncle Ian asked.

“You okay, kiddo?” Pops wanted to know, immediately moving to stand beside me. “Does anything hurt? Do you need to sit down?”

I laughed aloud then at his mother hen routine. “No, Pops, I’m fine. She just kicked—oh! And again just now!” I cried out then, grabbing his hand and putting it on my stomach. “Uncle Ian, you’ve got to feel this!”

Uncle Ian smiled and reached out then, placing a hand on my stomach. “You want to know the funny thing about all this?”

“What?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Your mom and I were cooking dinner for the family one night, right here, when you decided to kick her for the first time,” he said. “Just a happy memory, that’s all.”

I sighed, thinking of the text that Clayton and Fionn had sent me, that they’d gone to Grandma Allie’s for Thanksgiving that year. “You know… This may be the hormones talking, but I always wondered if…”

“What, kiddo?” Pops asked.

I shook my head, turning back towards the turkey. “Nothing…”

“Hey wait a minute, kiddo,” Pops said quickly, turning me around. “What? You know that you can tell us anything.”

I swallowed then, leaning back up against the sink. “Okay. I’m going to ask something, and I need the two of you to be honest, okay?”

Uncle Ian nodded. “Of course.”

I lock eyes with the both of them then, unknowing if I should even be asking the question, but also knowing that it would drive me insane if I never asked it at all. “Would it have been easier if this all didn’t happened?”

“What do you mean, kiddo? You getting pregnant with Baby Girl?” Pops asked.

I shook my head then. “No,” I replied. “My mom getting pregnant with me,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper, and as I looked from Pops to Uncle Ian, I knew the head answer, versus the heart answer, and neither one of them could be perfect.

TO BE CONTINUED


	6. Bad Blood

_Cara and I walked through the main lobby of the prison, quickly collecting our things before we stepped outside into the cool, mid-winter air. I swallowed then as we walked towards the parking lot, temporarily phased by the notion that something was vibrating from inside Cara’s pocket. I raised my eyebrows slightly then as Cara dipped into said pocket of her slim-cut blazer, shooting me a look._

_“Sorry, it’s another potential client,” she said, and I nodded._

_“It’s cool,” I replied._

_Cara hesitated for a moment, biting her lip before it appeared that she was sending a text, before she held up her finger and answered the phone call. She migrated towards her car then and got inside, deliberately not inviting me inside of it yet, due to attorney-client privilege. Her voice could vaguely be heard, even though she shut the door behind her, and I felt myself automatically tense up when the main doors of the prison opened from where I stood beneath the awning of the roof, a few yards away from Cara’s car._

_“Hey.”_

_The hairs on my arms stood on end as soon as I heard the voice and, carefully, I turned around and spotted Axel looping towards me. “Hey yourself,” I replied, crossing my arms as he came forward to stand next to me. “Let me guess—Cara sent you out here to babysit me.”_

_Axel shrugged. “Guilty.”_

_I smirked. “Right,” I muttered, leaning up against the building. “So, now that we’re here, why don’t you tell me about yourself.”_

_“Not much to know.”_

_I scoffed. “Sure there isn’t.”_

_Axel pondered me then, mulling over my words for a moment before he allowed himself to speak again. “What do you want to know?” he asked._

_“Well, I know that you’re only Cara’s half-brother…”_

_He nodded. “Yeah, that’s true. Same mother, different fathers.”_

_“Where is your father?”_

_He shrugged. “He’s a wine dealer for big corporations in Europe,” he replied, almost as if it didn’t matter to him. “My mom met him during college, when she was taking a semester abroad in France. Whirlwind romance, all that,” he went on, like it disgusted him somewhat. “Once he found out she was pregnant, he told her that settling down wasn’t in the cards for him, and she came back to the States, had me, and gave temporary custody to her parents while she finished her college education.”_

_“And then what happened?”_

_“Despite appearances, the Hastings and my mother’s family were old friends,” Axel said, his tone quiet, a layer of respect hidden inside there. “Humphrey Hastings initially agreed to marry my mother, Margot, as a favor, but they got feelings for each other within a year of the ceremony, and that’s how Cara was conceived.”_

_I mulled that over for a moment. “How old are you?”_

_“Twenty-seven,” he replied._

_I kept my eyes locked onto his profile then, waiting for him to look back at me, and, when he did, I felt my smile slowly developing onto my lips. “I see.”_

_Axel blinked, apparently shocked at my brazen behavior. “Uh, no,” he said then, his voice sharking, and I smirked then, knowing how much I had him. “I don’t think you do… I mean, Cara told me how old you were…”_

_“I’m fourteen,” I replied, shrugging. “What does it matter? Age is just a number, as I’m sure you know very well.”_

_“What does it matter? Please. I work in law enforcement—just like my family. Do you realize the dangers of even talking about it, outside a prison? The higher-ups would be all over my ass and be locking me in a cell in ten seconds flat, probably less.”_

_I cocked my head to one side then. “And if we weren’t outside a prison?” I asked, and Axel’s ears turned red at what I was implying._

_“That’s enough, Iana,” he replied, forcing my name through his lips like it was a salvation. “We shouldn’t even be talking about this.”_

_I stepped closer then and, to my relief, he didn’t step back. “I may be from a ghetto, Axel, but I know when I’m standing near my own kind.”_

_Axel scoffed. “Ghetto? You’re crazy.”_

_I raised my eyebrows. “Meaning?”_

_“You’re too refined for a ghetto. Plus, your clothes are new.”_

_I shrugged my shoulders before I crossed my arms, which gave him an eyeful of what I was hiding beneath my low-cut top, and his eyes widened slightly then. “My adopted father is a lawyer, and my mother owns a restaurant. We may made good bank, but I’m one of five kids on her side. Trust me; I’m ghetto born and bred, like you.”_

_“Where you from?”_

_“South Side,” I replied, “just like my family. Can’t escape it.”_

_He nodded. “Wow. I’m South Side, too.”_

_I smiled up at him then; slowly, my lips parting slightly so as he could see my teeth, knowing full well that I wouldn’t bite him, unless he asked me to. I looked around to make sure that Cara was plenty involved in her phone call, and that there weren’t any guards or obvious cameras around the pair of us. When I noticed that there weren’t, I reached up then, gently cupping Axel’s face in my hand and trailing my thumb across his lower lip, pleased when he shut his eyes to my touch and didn’t walk away._

_“Cara has my number… You think you can spin something to get it from her, or should we just be more direct about this?” I asked._

_Axel’s eyes snapped open. “Give me your phone,” he ordered._

_I felt a rush of something down my spine at the sensation of him ordering me, and I quickly got my phone out from my pocket and handed it over. I watched as he keyed in his information quickly, all the while looking over at Cara’s car, but seemed satisfied that she was otherwise engaged in her phone call to the perspective client. I took my phone back from him once he’d finished, which is when the clouds descended around us, darkening the terrain, and the sky split open and doused the surrounding area with rain._

_“Jesus,” Axel muttered as I pocketed my phone. “That shit’s really coming down…”_

_I bit my lip then, knowing that Cara was likely to wrap up her phone conversation at any time now, which meant I’d have to get back into her car and head back home. My heart was pounding from my closeness to Axel, plus the meeting I’d had with Tommy. I felt my hands shaking then as he turned his gaze on me, and my face flushed automatically. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “Looks like we’re in for a heavy storm…”_

_Axel hesitated for a moment before he took a step backwards. “Well, I should probably get back to my office…”_

_“Wait,” I said, stepping closer then and grabbing him by the face, yanking it downwards then, knowing that I had to taste him for a moment before he left. I felt my heart hammering then as he pulled me lengthwise against him, anchoring his mouth to mine and tasting me with such reckless abandon that I could almost drown out the sound of rain falling around us. I finally pulled back from him then, stepping an appropriate distance away and smiling up at him, and was rewarded with a hot look, his eyes laced with desire. “Well, I have your number, Mr. Richland,” I said, and I could detect him spasming as I addressed him so formally. “Let me know when your schedule is clear,” I tossed over my shoulder, acting like it didn’t matter to me as I walked towards Cara’s car, the rain making my raven hair stick to my face, and smirked to myself at the potential danger my contact with Axel could bring._

. . .

“Listen, I never really got the opportunity to apologize to you,” Penny said then, her green eyes filled with sadness then.

I blinked, sipping at the delicious decaf tea she had served me in her studio suite. “Why would you need to apologize to me?” I asked her, shocked. “If anything, I should be the one apologizing to you, Penny. I behaved horribly at your Halloween party that night.”

She sighed. “I should’ve tried to get in touch with you,” she said softly. “I literally didn’t know that Liam was coming home a day early until about twenty minutes before you showed up. I honestly thought he’d just go back to that godforsaken penthouse of his and just crash, sleep off the jetlag, you know? But no—my big brother had to come and crash my party with potential and long-running investors and ruin your night on top of it. Stress isn’t good for the pregnancy, that much I know, and I know full well that, with everything else you’ve got going on in your life, that you likely didn’t need Liam interfering, and for that, I apologize.”

I was pleased that Penny was being so considerate about this, despite knowing full well that the potential investors could’ve pulled their millions due to my behavior. “Well, still, I’m glad that you and I have an understanding on the matter.”

She laughed. “My brother is my brother, and I love him—he’s been like a father-figure to me ever since Dad died. He and Dad were never close, and I was still really young when he died, so I didn’t know the man, and I think Liam prefers it that way. Anyhow, despite our familial relationship and my love for him, I don’t condone his behavior towards you. But, I think it would make you feel better if we dropped the subject, so that’s just what we’ll do.”

I nodded, thankful for that as I lifted the tea cup back to my lips. “You have such impeccable taste, Penny,” I said, and Penny beamed at the compliment. “Surely, you didn’t learn about all of it from school, or naturally. I mean, if you did, bravo, but is your mother artistic in any way?” I wanted to know. “Liam, he… Well, we never got too personal on a mutual level. In fact, you know more about my family than he does.”

“Mother is a very interesting woman,” Penny replied in a tentative manner. “Of course, she was much more affectionate than Dad was, but there’s this stiffness to her that she’s never been able to shake completely. Probably comes from her background—she’s from the large Barrington family, where her older brother was named for my grandfather, and the rest of the girls, three of them, were all named after flowers. My grandmother, Elisa Barrington, was a prize-winning gardener from the time she was in high school, and promised herself that she would name all of her children after flowers. It’s just… I don’t know how to explain a bunch of rich, uptight people to you, Iana,” she said with a laugh.

I smirked as I lowered the tea cup back onto the coffee table between us. “Considering that I’m neither of those things…”

Penny giggled. “No. No, you are not.”

“So, why would you be friends with someone like me, anyway?” I asked, and Penny raised her perfectly-plucked eyebrows at me. “I mean, I’m a girl from the South Side with a…questionable past, to say the least, and you’re…”

“Just a spoiled little rich girl?” she asked.

Immediately, I shook my head. “No. And I’m sorry if I came across that way,” I said, my former bravado gone.

Penny shook her head. “No, I get it. Frequently in friendships like this, one party wants something from the other.”

I sighed, leaning back up against the couch we sat on and cradled my swollen belly. “Well, I can assure you that I don’t want anything. Like that, I mean,” I said, forcing a smile to my lips as I looked up at her. “I’m cool with hanging out and drinking your expensive teas every now and again, for as long as you want.”

Penny furrowed her brow then, considering my words. “You said just now that your past was questionable…”

I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, that’s one word for it.”

She swallowed slightly then, almost as if she wanted to know more, but didn’t want to put any pressure on me by asking. “How do you mean?”

I blinked. “Wow. We’re going there, I guess…” I said then, my voice quiet as I surveyed the pattern on the rug that the coffee table was stationed upon.

“It doesn’t leave this room, of course,” Penny said, and I raised my eyes back to hers. “Not like I’d run to my brother with any information about you. Not like he doesn’t ask,” she said, the last portion of her speech half to herself, so I decided not to pry.

“I started smoking when I was twelve, right after I got my period,” I said, and Penny looked slightly shocked at what I was saying. “Started drinking when I was thirteen, right after I was raped by my middle school principal, who’d been harassing me for years… But that’s another story,” I said, and Penny nodded, obviously not wanting to pry if I didn’t want to delve into further details about it. “Then the fucking started at fourteen.”

“The fucking?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yeah,” I replied. “Had one serious boyfriend, but that was a long time ago now, back when I was another person, seems like… Then he ended things, which royally fucked me up for a good long while. My parents even talked about sending me to a boarding school because I wouldn’t talk to them about it. This was during the ending stages of a trial I was involved in, where if my diagnosis wasn’t put on the record, I’d be in a jail cell now, probably not pregnant, and munching pussy in order to survive. I’d be easy, though,” I said, shrugging my shoulders as I attempted to alleviate pressure slightly on my back. “I’ve dealt with worse. I’m half-Gallagher, half-Milkovich, so I can deal…”

“What trial?” she asked then, her voice small.

“My cousin, Franny, was seeing this guy we went to school with,” I said quietly. “He got her pregnant, and things went south when that happened…”

“How south?”

I raised my eyes to hers then, and opened my mouth to speak. “South,” I whispered.

. . .

_The text from Franny seemed to be urgent, but I couldn’t be sure as I yanked on my steel-toed boots, and deposited my brass knuckles in my pocket for good measure, as I put my leather jacket around my shoulders. I went out my window and got down the ladder as quickly as possible, running through the fall evening, heart pounding in my chest as I ran several blocks, knowing that I’d have to hop on a bus, and kept my fingers crossed that it was on time. I turned a corner at the edge of the block, and dashed towards the bus as it pulled up to the stop, and deposited a few dozen coins into the machine before I took my seat._

_I leaned back against the window, attempting to slow my heart rate as the bus pulled along the dark streets. Looking up and down, I hoped beyond hope that the bus patrons had all managed to get their tasks done throughout the day, and that they wouldn’t be wanting the service. I felt relieved when we pulled up a block away from the townhouse that Franny lived in with Aunt Debbie, and vaguely remembered the autumn welding conference that Aunt Debbie had to attend for the Northwestern University graduates interested in welding as a career. I rolled my eyes at the simplicity of it all as I charged down the street, whipping around the corner and coming towards the pristine building that Franny had lived in for a solid decade._

_There were three units in the townhouse; two smaller ones in the front, plus a larger one at the back, which was where Franny and Aunt Debbie lived. I ran through the black, wrought iron gate and around the back of the house, seeing a light streaming into the backyard, among the thick hedges to keep peeping toms away. What entered my ears next was a distinct lull of conversation, but then a shout of fear, followed by a scream of anger, and then the sound of something shattering caused me to jump. Hoping that it wasn’t anything valuable that Aunt Debbie had collected, I dashed around the remainder of the house and climbed up the trio of stairs, staring into the dining room, gasping at what I saw._

_“Colin! Just listen to me, please!” Franny was begging, her hands held up in a moment of surrender, as she stood there, shaking like a leaf, from a corner. She was hemmed in by a panel of wall on one side, and a curio case on the other, and Colin was blocking her one means of escape, which was straight ahead._

_“Listen to you?! For fuck’s sake, Franny!” he yelled then, punching the wall right beside her head then, causing her to cower. “All right, I’ll listen! Like when you told me that you were on the goddamned pill! Or when you told me you supported my dreams to go for a sports scholarship! Or when you forgave me for getting handsy with your cousin the night of the school dance! Yeah, I’ll fucking listen!” he thundered._

_I felt my blood boiling then, unknowing that they’d discussed his interactions with me the night of the school dance, much less that Franny had forgiven him._

_“Please, baby, please,” Franny said, begging him again. “I love you. You know that I love you so much…”_

_“Franny, we talked about this!” he yelled back._

_“It’d be such a great life,” she told him, her voice sweet. “You, me, and a baby… A little boy, who looks just like you—”_

_Colin cut her off then by slamming a fist into her gut then, causing Franny to understanably double over in pain. He grabbed her by the throat next, cutting off her ability to breathe, and then proceeded to thrash her, whereupon he held her in place with one hand, before his other hand curled into a fist and began beating her._

_“Colin, stop!” she wheezed. “Please don’t!” she cried out. Her eyes caught mine then, from where I stood, struck dumb, in the doorway, and her eyes widened in fear. “Iana!” she cried out then, reaching for me._

_Colin whipped around then, his eyes filled with madness. “Fuck no!” he growled. “I’ll finish you both off!” he yelled. “After what you did, to my family you little bitch,” he screamed, before he turned to look back at Franny, “and what you did to my future, you cunt!”_

_It was then that I saw Colin draw blood on Franny, and I snapped out of my trance. “Stop it!” I yelled then, my voice tearing from my throat as I charged forward then. I yanked Colin off from Franny then, who fell to her knees and gasped for breath. I dragged Colin around to face me then and grabbed the brass knuckles from my pocket, punching him over and over in his perfect, golden-boy face. Next, I decided to truly take his future away from him; as he begged for mercy like a fucking pussy at my feet, I used my steel-toed boots to smash his kneecaps. And then, as he whined like a little girl, I stomped on his head until he stopped screaming…_

. . .

“He was trying to kill her,” I said to Penny’s question. “I stepped in, like a fucking wild animal, and beat him until he stopped screaming…”

“Did… Did you kill him?”

“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “Franny managed to get me to stop… It was almost as if it wasn’t me. I mean, I know now it wasn’t me. I was having an episode. Seems to happen to me a lot,” I said quietly.

“You saved her life, and her baby,” she replied.

I dragged my hand across my face. “Keep trying to tell myself that, you know?” I said, a bitter laugh escaping from my lips then as I feel hot tears stream down my face. “After everything that family did to me, and all I went through…” I shook my head. “My lawyer tried to justify all I did to him, and it worked. I think things worked in my favor because I had the best lawyer around, I got a diagnosis on the books, and Colin didn’t die…”

“Where is Colin now?” she asked.

“He’s been in a coma since that night,” I replied. “His parents have some pull or something within the hospital system to keep him on life support. It also has to do with their religion, or something, I don’t know that much about it,” I said with a shrug.

“They think he’ll wake up?”

“Unless their doctor is a total quack, yeah,” I replied.

“How long has it been?” she whispered.

I sighed. “Well, I was fourteen when I attacked him, and the trial finished in March. I attacked him in September, right after my sophomore year of high school started,” I said, giving her an idea of the timeline. “So, he’s been in a coma for over two years now. But his parents are still hopeful. Doctors say he could have memory damage, or be childlike upon waking up.”

“His parents are involved? Despite what his dad did to you?”

“His dad’s still in prison, and his wife left him, but they’re united as Colin’s parents. God fucking bless them,” I said, my tone sarcastic.

“Now, _that_ ’ _s_ exactly what I like to hear,” said a voice from the doorway, and, as Penny and I turned to look, we mutually got a glance of a well-put-together woman, who appeared to be in her late-thirties. She crossed the room then, the door closing behind her, her dark brown hair not an inch out of place, her dark green eyes matching her skirt suit as she smiled, her red painted lips going up perfectly, without causing a wrinkle to her beautiful face as she came towards us and sat across from me, crossing her knees. “Don’t mind me, my dear,” she said, no ill-affect to her voice as she blew Penny a kiss and turned back to me, looking me up and down. “I must say, Iana, you’re _much_ prettier in person; Liam’s descriptions never did you justice,” she says, and I immediately feel my face flushing pink. “Although, if I’m honest, Penny darling,” she said, and turned to Penny, “I think Iana could do benefit from some of your fashion advice from your maternity line…”

I immediately felt my blush receding then as I straightened automatically on the couch. “And you must be Mrs. Kennedy,” I said.

She beamed. “Well, technically yes, my dear, but please, call me Rose,” she said, and extended her hand to me, which I took a shook, marveling at how soft her skin was. “I’ll tell you,” she said as she sat back in her chair, “my mother named me Primrose, but I never liked it, especially after _The Hunger Games_ came out,” she said, clicking her tongue. “I was thirteen when they were published, and children can be so cruel…”

“I didn’t know we had an appointment today, Mother,” Penny said, her personal datebook already clasped in her hands as she leafed through it. “There, now. Our next appointment wasn’t until the following week, for that charity function you’ve got.”

“Your secretary phoned me and said you’d be in with a friend this afternoon,” she said, as she turned and looked out one of the windows for a moment. “Ah. First of December, and the first snow of the season,” she remarked then, and I followed her gaze towards the window. “I guess I thought the friend could be the famous Iana that stole Liam’s heart, and who said some very nasty things to her,” she said, and turned back towards me again. “I won’t ask you to forgive my son, Iana, although I’ve spoken to him on his manners many times over the years, but none so much as recently. The very idea that I brought up my son to respect women, and he thinks he can shit all over your good name like that…” She clicked her tongue again. “I’m ashamed, to say the least, my dear. For I’ve only just met you, and I already like you.”

I laughed aloud then. “Like me? You hardly know me…”

“Not so, my dear. From the moment I heard Liam’s hushed conversations with Penelope about you, I simply had to know who you were.”

“Don’t tell me you ran a background check on her, Mother!” Penny cried out.

“Come now, Penny. Can you blame me?”

“I can’t,” I said, patting Penny’s hand, assuring her that I didn’t mind. “Even though my aunt and uncle live in this building, I completely understand your reasoning, Rose. I come from a different neighborhood, and I have some questionable blemishes on my record, and my pastimes have been known to be less than savory… Oh, and I’m sixteen and I’m going to be having a child in three months,” I said with a laugh. “I’m quite sure that your mother only did it for your best interests, Penny, but I’m sure it makes you no less embarrassed.”

“I like this one, Penny,” Rose said with approval as she clapped her hands. “Not only did she deny Liam’s untoward claims towards her, but she didn’t even threaten to sue him for defamation of character.”

I laughed. “Both my parents have law degrees, so I could have!”

Rose tossed back her head and laughed, her wavy, dark brown hair the spitting image of Liam’s as her eyes, which Penny had inherited, danced. “I quite like you, my dear.”

“And I like you as well, Rose.”

Rose pondered my comment for a moment. “You strike me as the type who doesn’t like many people…”

I returned her smile. “You’d be right,” I reply.

. . .

_“Okay, be honest,” I said then, clasping my bra back into place on my own as I peered over my shoulder, watching Axel buttoning up his shirt. “Do you regret it?”_

_Axel took me by the shoulders then and turned me around to face him. “The law coming after me aside?” he asked._

_I nodded. “Exactly.”_

_He smiled down at me then without hesitation, before he tilted my chin up and kissed me. “I guess I could get used to this…”_

_“Could you?” I asked, my fingers slipping in between his buttons; I allowed them to gently touch his abs, which wanted to ripple and rip through his white shirt. God, he was sexy… “Could you get used to this?”_

_“Yeah,” he replied, his own hands snaking back and cupping my ass. “Of course, had you not said anything, I would’ve just waited four years before asking you to dinner…”_

_I scoffed then, standing on my toes again, knowing that I needed to taste him again before he had to run away from me, as he always did. “I prefer skipping to dessert, Mr. Richland…”_

_“You are just like a fucking appetizer,” he said, sloping his hands upwards from my ass and running them up my back. “Like a little snack…”_

_“A snack,” I said, nodding my head at the comment._

_“Yeah, that’s what I said,” he replied, his hands hesitating at my shoulders. “A snack.”_

_I peered up at him then, before I allowed myself to cup him from inside his boxers, and Axel automatically stiffened at my hold on him. “I see…”_

_“Do you?” he wanted to know, his hands moving towards my collar bone. “Do you see?”_

_“I just might,” I replied, running my tongue over my bottom lip then, not allowing myself to break away from the heat of his gaze. “I just want to know one thing…”_

_“What do you want to know, Iana?” he asked, his voice husky, deep, with an unadulterated desire for forbidden fruit as his hands began to lower themselves._

_“I want to know,” I said, deliberately speaking very slowly, “if this appetizer,” I went on, knowing that I could be punished for it later, but wanting desperately to prolong his time with me, “this snack… Is good enough…”_

_“Good enough?” he asked, and, by the feel of him, he couldn’t last much longer, especially given the pressure my hand gave him, as his hands moved to cup my breasts, and twist my nipples, which responded automatically to his touch._

_“Good enough…to eat,” I said, smiling slowly up at him._

_Axel slowly smiled down at me then, his eyes darkening quickly. “I’d say it’s a definite possibility, Iana,” he replied then, before yanking me at full-force back onto my bed, and I had to keep my fingers crossed that my parents wouldn’t come upstairs and catch us._


	7. Behind Closed Doors

“You can’t just lie in bed all day,” Pops announces as he struts into my borrowed bedroom, before pulling up the blinds and blinding me completely with the winter sun, which reflected off the heavy snowfall. “Come on. Ezra’s coming over later, because Franny’s working the late shift at the diner. You promised you’d watch him, and make sure he doesn’t twist an ankle in the snow in the backyard…”

I let out a groan and pulled the blanket up over my head. “Go away,” I muttered.

Pops hesitated for a moment before he climbed up onto the bed, and yanked the blanket from my face without hesitation. “Don’t do that,” he ordered.

Immediately, I sat up in bed, backing away from him. “Whoa, I love you and all, Pops, but personal space much?!” I demanded.

Pops sighed then, regulating himself to the foot of my bed so as he was giving me enough space to my liking. “Sorry,” he replied, getting my feet out from under the blankets and rubbing them, which soothed my swollen ankles. “Really, kiddo, I’m sorry. It’s just that Ian does that sometimes and I don’t want you doing it either…”

“Hey,” I said, reaching out then and catching ahold of his wrist so that he’d look at me. “I love Uncle Ian almost as much as I love you. But you need to hear me when I say this: I’m not Uncle Ian. Just because we’ve got the same thing doesn’t mean we’re automatically going to act the same way when we’re in a funk.”

Pops smirked as he worked his thumbs into my ankles. “In a funk, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said, grinning back at him. “In a funk. Now,” I said, looking around, “please tell me that Uncle Ian is still here…”

Pops laughed. “Course he is. He worked a double two days ago, so now he’s off until tomorrow,” he explained, and I rolled my eyes, hating what this pregnancy was doing to my brain. “Why? I mean, I thought I was doing a pretty good job rubbing your feet…”

Immediately, I grabbed my pillow and swung it at his arm, causing him to bash it back towards me, and the two of us started laughing. “Sorry, Pops, but Uncle Ian makes way better pancakes than you do…”

“We could just get some at the diner…”

“No way in hell am I doing that,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “I don’t want to go into my place of work on my day off, Pops.”

Pops laughed. “Yeah, I can see why,” he said, turning his head automatically when the door midway down the hallway opened, to the master, where he and Uncle Ian slept. “Hey,” Pops said then as Uncle Ian trudged out, wearing long sleep pants and an undershirt, just like him. “We were talking about breakfast…”

“Is the pregnant princess craving something?” Uncle Ian asked, smirking over at me.

I scoffed, shaking my head. “If I wasn’t pregnant, or resembling a beached whale at the moment, I’d be over there in two seconds and fucking waste you for calling me a pregnant princess,” I fired back. “Guess this’ll have to do,” I muttered.

“What are you—? Hey!” Uncle Ian shouted, catching my pillow with a laugh. “Okay, okay, point taken. You craving something?” he asked.

“Pancakes,” I replied, smiling.

“With chocolate chips and whipped cream?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I replied, looking at Pops for a moment before I turned back to him. “How would you know that I was—?”

“Your mom,” Pops said with a smile.

“What?” I asked.

“It’s what she craved on lazy mornings when she was pregnant with you,” Uncle Ian explained with a smile. “We used to go to the diner, and Fiona would make them up special for her. Just for her,” he said, looking nostalgic for a moment.

“I’m not that lazy,” I muttered, gently pulling my feet from Pops’s grasp and getting to my feet, before I dug a sweater out from my chest of drawers. “And now let us go forth, for pancake batter making,” I declared, getting it onto my body, but not quite over my head.

“Come on, then,” Pops said, hoisting me up in his arms bridal style, while Uncle Ian laughed and led the way down the stairs.

“Pops!” I shouted, struggling to figure out where my neck was so that I could attempt to pull my sweater down the rest of the way. “So not cool! Put me down!”

Pops set me down once we were in the kitchen, and greeted me with a grin once I managed to get my sweater into its proper place. “Hey, princess!” he joked.

I narrowed my eyes at him and punched him in the arm. “So not cool,” I replied, crossing my arms, before I trudged over the the fridge to get Uncle Ian out some eggs. “I’m not that fucking lazy either,” I said, just loud enough so that they could hear me, and I couldn’t help but smirk when they both laughed.

. . .

_“You seem…different lately, Iana. Tell me, has someone new come into your life recently?” came Cara’s question, rephrased for the umpteenth time, as she wanted me to focus on her words that day, during our meeting._

_My eyes snapped to hers. “Someone new in my life?” I asked, uttering it like the idea itself seemed foreign to me. “What do you mean?”_

_She smiled. “Well, I mean you seem distracted, to say the least,” she replied, folding her hands over her desk then. “Can you tell me why that is?”_

_I sighed. “Well, I guess it’s because you’re my attorney,” I said, knowing I could easily turn the discussion back to her, “and, other than Axel, his parents, and yours, I really don’t know that much about you personally. I mean, I know that it doesn’t pertain to my case in any way, but I guess it would make me trust you more and open up more easily if I knew a little more about you that way.”_

_Cara nodded to herself then. “Yeah, I suppose I can understand that.” She hesitated for a moment before she raised her eyes to mine. “What would you like to know?”_

_I blinked, surprised that she had stopped her interrogation of me and that she seemed so willing to talk about herself all of a sudden. “I don’t know. I guess, if there someone in your life?” I asked, knowing that it seemed to be the most appropriate question right now, given that she’d just asked me the very same thing._

_Cara smiled softly. “Yeah. There’s someone in my life,” she replied, pulling slightly at the silver chain around her neck, which was always tucked into her button-down shirts she wore, which revealed a square-cut, flawless diamond ring. “My husband is in my life.”_

_I felt my eyebrows raising several storeys. “You’re married?!”_

_Cara laughed lightly, putting the ring back beneath her shirt. “Yeah. My husband and I have been married for six years. We got married on my eighteenth birthday, actually.”_

_“Your husband?”_

_“He’s a member of the Abbott family,” she replied, naming a wealthy family that was from Northern Chicago, where I knew that Cara had been born. “We knew each other since we were children. He’s Axel’s best friend,” she replied, “and he’s a few years older. Let’s just say it was difficult for him to keep his hands to himself for the two years we dated, and we slipped up a few times, but we made it work.”_

_“You got married at eighteen?” I whispered, shocked that Cara was only twenty-four, and she had amassed such a following already. “That’s amazing!”_

_She smiled. “Lawrence is just lovely,” she said softly. “Our son looks like a combination of him and Axel, which is why we named him Axel in the first place.”_

_“You have a son?”_

_“He’s five,” she replied, reaching into her desk and pulling out a family photo, which showed a candid of her, Lawrence, and Axel, taken at a theme park. “Got pregnant with him about six months after we got married, but I was almost finished with my second year of law school at that time, so Lawrence’s mother stepped in and helped out during that first year, after graduation and after I built up the practice. His family’s been very supportive…”_

_“And your family?” I asked._

_Cara sighed. “My parents adore him, now at least. They think of me as an adult now, I suppose, and Axel’s always been there.”_

_“He has?”_

_“Yeah, of course. He dotes on Laurie, that’s what we call my son, just to differentiate between the two of them. His full name is Axel Laurence Abbott.” Cara hesitated again, almost as if she wanted to share something else, but wasn’t sure if she should. “He’s been different lately, too, to say the least.”_

_“Axel?” I asked. “Different?”_

_She laughed. “It’s probably nothing, but he’s been avoiding my phone calls as of late. And one of the last times he took a call from me, it sounded like there was a girl there with him…”_

_I tried not to flush then, as I remembered exactly when that was, and exactly what I’d been doing to Axel when he absolutely had to take the call… “I take it that this isn’t typical of Axel, then. In terms of behavior.”_

_“No,” she replied. “Axel doesn’t stay with a woman long. And, when it ends, the woman always gets her heart broken,” she went on, deliberately lowering her voice. “Each and every time, he finds a fault within her, and ends things…” Immediately, Cara seemed to be aware of what she was talking about, as well as who she was talking to, she she laughed a little, shaking her head in a moment of embarrassment. “Sorry. Here I am talking to you like we’re girlfriends out for cocktails, and you’re my client. Sorry for being unprofessional, Iana.”_

_I smiled back at her, despite the heaviness weighing upon me then. “No problem,” I said quickly, despite knowing that my days with Axel were numbered._

_Cara checked her computer then and sighed. “And that’s all the time we have left for today. Well, we’ve got another twenty, but we should use that next time to plan strategy. I’ll call Sally about the matter and get your curfew adjusted if need be,” she assured me, getting to her feet, and I did as well. She put her hand out to me and shook it then, and I did my best to remain straight-faced and shook her hand as well, before I said goodbye to her and attempted to remain smiling as I stumbled out of her office._

. . .

“Thirty-two weeks today,” Dr. Lennox announced with a grin as she breezed into my exam room, snapping on her gloves and getting the gel ready. “Your baby should be the size of a squash by now. And how are we feeling today?” she asked, turning to look at me as she prepared the wand by wrapping it up in plastic.

“Fine,” I replied, keeping a grip on Pops’s hand. “My mom’s been cutting down my work hours a bit, per your recommendation, but I need the money, so it’s proving to be a point of contention between the two of us…”

“I keep telling her she needs to rest, doc,” Pops puts in, and I shoot him a glare.

“Rest is beneficial in this late stage of pregnancy, Iana,” Dr. Lennox informed me gently as she came closer, flipping off the lights. “I’ve warmed up the gel, as we’re in mid-December now and I don’t think you want anything cold on you now.”

I shook my head. “Definitely not,” I replied.

“Let’s get a look-see at Baby Girl Milkovich, then,” she said with a smile, switching on the monitor of the ultrasound machine, and put the gelled-up wand onto my exposed stomach. “Oh, and there she is,” Dr. Lennox said after a moment, and Pops and I immediately turned our gazes to look up at the screen. “Oh, look, she’s showing us her feet. Isn’t that nice?”

I felt myself grinning stupidly up at the screen as my eyes readily filled with tears. I felt myself reaching for her then, almost as if she was right there in the room with me. “Hey, gorgeous. I’m right here. Mama’s right here.”

“There is one small cause for concern,” Dr. Lennox said then, and I felt my eyes snap to hers immediately, questioning her with them. “She’s supposed to be getting close to four pounds now, but she seems to only be three and a half pounds. And she’s also supposed to be over sixteen and a half inches, but she’s just at sixteen. My suggestion is to gain at least another ten pounds until your pregnancy is over.”

“Am I doing something wrong?!” I cried out. “Is my daughter okay?!”

“I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong, Iana,” Dr. Lennox said, consoling me immediately, her voice calm. “I just think that perhaps your mother is right about restricting your work hours back a bit. It means you need to take more time for yourself. You need to relax and de-stress, Iana, and I know that’s damn near impossible to do, considering that Christmas is less than a week away, but you need to do it for your little girl.”

“But she’s okay?” Pops pressed her. “The baby’s okay?”

“She’s fine,” Dr. Lennox said to Pops with a smile. “Hear. Listen,” she said, flicking the switch on the machine, and the _whoosh_ - _whoosh_ sound of her heart filled the room. “She’s got a really strong heartbeat, Iana,” she told me. “So, just listen to your mother, rest a little more, and gain a few more pounds. I’ll see you in four weeks for your next appointment,” she told me gently, and keyed in the buttons so that I’d have pictures to show anyone I wanted.

. . .

_“You are amazing,” Axel said then, rolling off from on top of me then, grinning from ear to ear then, as if he was a cat._

_I sat up then, rolling my shoulders as I considered him then. “Listen, I wanted to ask you a question or two…”_

_“Sure, babe,” he said, rolling over onto his arm, which was beautifully tattooed with a black raven, and moved slightly so that he could kiss me, on my back. “Ask me anything you like. I don’t mind.”_

_“Is this the first time you’ve done this?”_

_Axel straightened then, fixing me with a confused look. “‘This’ being…?”_

_“Like, sleeping with one of your sister’s clients?” I asked._

_He smiled slowly. “No, I’ve never slept with one of her clients. Most of her clients have been men suing their unfaithful wives for divorces, or old ladies, making sure that their children get equal shares of the estate. Trust me, neither one of those are my type.”_

_I nodded. “Okay…”_

_“Is that all?”_

_I shook my head. “No. I… Was wondering if you’ve ever slept with someone that’s underage before you started sleeping with me,” I said then, my voice shaking, all because I knew that I was afraid of the ultimate answer._

_“When I was under eighteen, sure,” he replied, sitting up completely then, and placing his strong hands on my shoulders. “Where is this coming from?”_

_I swallowed then. “I don’t know. Guess I’m just…”_

_“What?”_

_“Scared,” I admitted, turning and looking at him over my shoulder. “Aren’t you?”_

_“Sure,” he replied, his tone honest, yet not critical. “My entire life could be fucked if anyone ever found out about this.”_

_“Then why?” I whispered then, wetting my lips as I leaned back into him, knowing that, despite everything, I felt safe in his arms. “Why are you just… I don’t know. Risking it all just to do this with me? You could get anyone, over eighteen, who could do all this, and probably more, than just a sophomore in high school with legal problems…”_

_Axel dragged me closer then, before he turned my cheek towards his face and kissed me. “I guess this is the point where I tell you that you’re worth it…”_

_I blinked. “Wait. What?”_

_“You’re worth it,” he repeated._

_I turned fully to face him then, mulling his words over in my mind for a moment then before I got myself into his lap. “What does that mean?” I whispered to him then, gently cupping his face in the palms of my hands. “What makes me so worth it?”_

_“You’re wise beyond your years,” he replied. “You feel like an outlier within your own family. I think it comes from being a half-sibling,” he said, lowering his eyes for a moment. “You know you’re loved by the people around you, but you never feel whole, like you would if your own parents were together. It’s like the other siblings are in on this secret, the secret to holding the key to the perfect life. You can sense it, but you can’t feel it yourself, because you constantly feel like there’s this void between you and the other people involved. Like everything around you’s make of glass…”_

_“And, one false move, and it shatters,” I said softly, and Axel’s eyes lock onto mine. “This illusion of perfection, that they want you to be a part of—at least, they say so—but you get that nagging feeling that it’s only meant to be polite. Like they’re secretly relieved that you decline their invitation to something… Like they envision the perfect family events, but somehow, whenever the prime example comes up, you weren’t there…”_

_Axel nods. “Exactly,” he replies, before he asks, “Who’s that for you?”_

_“My mother’s in-laws,” I replied. “They liked me when I was a child, but once my parents got married and I was adopted, my brothers came. It was like they were the flesh and blood grandkids, and I was a fucking consolation prize…”_

_Axel sighs then, bringing me slightly forward then so that he can kiss my forehead. “I’m so sorry,” he said gently. “They should be fucking lucky to have you in their family.”_

_“Thanks,” I say, before I raise my eyes back to his then, and know that I’ve got to ask him the question, too. “Who’s it for you?”_

_“My stepfather, Humphrey,” he replies, but doesn’t go into details._

_I nod, knowing not to push him. “I’m sorry,” I tell him, leaning down and kissing him, and we comfort each other, the only way we know how, South Side._

. . .

I was helping Pops and Uncle Ian prepare Christmas dinner when Franny, Jay, and Ezra showed up as a unit, and I raised my eyebrows at her, and Franny rewarded me with a blush. We all knew that bringing your boyfriend home for Christmas was seen as a big deal. She also explained, with a kiss on my cheek and a nod towards the bag of presents and the offering of a chocolate cream pie from the diner, that Aunt Debbie would be along shortly.

“Good,” I replied. “I know that Uncle Lip and Mandy will want to see her, and meet Jay,” I put in, before I nodded at the table. “Think you and Jay can set that up?” I asked, stirring the gravy for the prime rib, which was cooling on the counter.

“No problem,” she replied, turning and seeing that Ezra had already made himself at home in the living room, in front of the T.V. “Jay, you think you can help me set up the table?” she asked, taking her scarf off from around her neck.

“Love to help,” he replied, taking her scarf from her and kissing her on the cheek before moving towards the table.

I continued stirring the gravy, knowing that nobody would tolerate it with lumps, and let Uncle Ian and Pops head upstairs to change. I was going to be changing next, which would be an easy feat, considering my outfit was all laid out on the bed. Once the table was set up, and Pops and Uncle Ian were still upstairs, Franny decided to sit with Ezra for a few moments, while Jay stood awkwardly in the kitchen, almost as if he was waiting for further instructions.

“You ever serve in the army?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Jay replied with a smile. “How’d you guess?”

“My uncle, Carl, is a military man,” I replied. “His sons, my cousins, are all involved, too. Let’s face it, the Gallagher name is infamous at West Point now, considering that Carl went there, and all his boys are there now.”

“Franny said you’re good at handling yourself…”

I chuckled. “Yeah. Got myself arrested for it, too,” I replied.

“Arrested? Didn’t know that,” Jay said, his soft voice sounding Chicagoan, which startled me for a moment, but decided not to press it.

“Yeah. Defending Franny’s life,” I said softly, flexing my hands. “Would’ve rotted in prison, too, if I didn’t have such a good lawyer…”

“Where’s this amazing lawyer now that got you off?”

“That was her brother, for the second part,” I said, and Jay looked shocked. “Kidding. Mostly,” I said, turning up the heat on the gravy.

“What was her name?”

I swallowed then, and opened my mouth. “Cara,” I said then, shocked that my voice suddenly cracked in that moment, and felt tears forming in my eyes.

“Hey,” Jay said, stepping towards me then and handing me a towel. “You okay.”

“Yeah,” I told him, forcing a laugh through my lips as I took the towel and dabbed at my eyes, plastering a smile to my lips. “Damned pregnancy hormones. Don’t worry,” I told him, looking up at his worried expression. “So not your fault.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have been so invasive,” he said softly. “I know that a lot of people can get into a lot of trouble that way…”

I blinked, looking up at him, and found that there was something familiar in his eyes. “What aren’t you telling us?” I asked.

Jay sighed and shook his head. “The less you know, Iana,” he whispered as Pops and Uncle Ian came downstairs, “the better,” he told me, before slipping into the next room to join Franny and Ezra, like everything was normal.


	8. Holding On and Letting Go

Christmas dinner was delicious, and we’d all decided to wait to open presents until after dinner, which Ezra didn’t mind one bit, as there were still a bunch for him to open. I smiled and watched from the couch, my gifts hoarded around me, a fair few from Penny’s maternity line, some things especially picked out by Rose, which truly touched me. There was a final box, however, that Pops found, hidden behind the tree, all forgotten. He said it was for me, and I leaned forward then and took it from him.

“Weird,” I said then, shaking my head.

“What is it, kiddo?” Pops asked.

“It says it’s from ‘Cherry’,” I said, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure it out. “I think that’s an associate of Penny’s. She’s been nice to me before, but I’ve been calling her Cherie. Must be the pregnancy brain,” I joked then, and Pops and Uncle Ian laughed.

“Open it!” Franny cried, holding onto Ezra in her lap, who was half-asleep. Jay had his arm around her then, and I was a little perplexed by his meaning of his statement earlier, but had decided not to dwell on it. “Do it, or I’ll just open it for you,” Franny warned.

“All right, all right, Miss Bossy,” I said, sticking my tongue out at her before I unwrapped the box, the velvet soft on my fingertips. I slowly opened the box then, my eyes widening at what lay inside of it. Inside the velvet box was a platinum necklace on a matching chain, with a heart pendant—which I quickly realized was a locket—which was studded with diamonds. I turned over the pendant then, and it red _A Nell’s Rags Original_ , so I knew then that it was from Penny’s company, and I vaguely remembered looking at a concept for it a few weeks back, but never expected to be gifted one myself.

“What is it?” Uncle Ian asked.

“A locket,” I replied, reaching out and taking it from the box, and clipping it around my neck without hesitation. “How’s it look?”

“You look beautiful, kiddo,” Pops assured me.

. . .

_“I know this is going to sound crazy, but I want you to hear me out before you totally refuse, okay, Iana?”_

_I was sitting with Axel in his apartment, on the couch, watching a movie. The commercials had been boring, so he’d muted the T.V., before he’d started speaking. I quickly maneuvered myself so that I was facing him, not wanting to miss a moment of what could be lurking just beneath the surface of his words. “Okay,” I said. “Talk. I can do crazy.”_

_He sighed. “Look, we’ve been doing this for almost two months… Sneaking around, I guess you could call it,” he said._

_I laughed. “Almost two months?! It_ has _been two months,” I said. “I came to the prison two weeks before Halloween. A week later, that’s when this started. We started this on the twenty-fourth of October, and it’s the day before Christmas Eve tomorrow. So… Okay, yeah. Two months if you round up,” I said, grinning at him._

_“My family’s having a Christmas party tomorrow and I want you to come with me.”_

_I felt my jaw drop then as he said this. “Wait. Come with you?”_

_He nodded. “Yeah. I want you there with me.”_

_“Axel, you know I can’t,” I whispered._

_“Why? Do you have a family thing?”_

_“No,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s not because of that.”_

_“Then, why can’t you come with me?”_

_“Several reasons,” I replied, counting on my fingers. “One, I’m fourteen. Two, what am I even to you? Three, I’m Cara’s client. Four, you could get fired. Five, you could go to jail. And six, Cara’s already asked me.”_

_Axel grinned. “So, you’d be there?”_

_I smiled back at him. “Yeah, I’ll be there. Lawrence says he’s cool with me joining, and Cara says that Laurie can’t wait to meet me.”_

_“Well, Humphrey and Mom’s house is pretty big…”_

_“Yeah?” I asked. “How big we talking here?”_

_“A fucking mansion in Dearborn built in the 1880’s,” he replied. “Been in the family for a few generations or something. Humphrey inherited the beast as a wedding gift.”_

_“You ever spend any time there?”_

_“My old childhood room is still intact for Laurie,” he said with a shrug. “Mom pretty much let Humphrey have his way on everything.”_

_“Yeah?” I asked. “Like what?”_

_“Like sending me away to make something of myself when they got married,” Axel replied, and quickly unmuted the T.V. as the show came back on, obviously not wanting to delve further into the discussion._

. . .

I managed to get myself into a deep green velvet maternity dress that Rose had given me for Christmas, which was surprisingly very flattering, given that its sleeves showed off my neck and shoulders. I was dressing for the New Year’s Eve party that Penny had invited me to, and knew that I had to be on my best behavior. She had been quick to inform me that Liam would be there, but Rose would be there as well, and so I felt better knowing that I had two strong women on my side that night. I clipped my new locket into place and pulled on my winter coat before I stepped downstairs, giving an obligatory smile to Pops and Uncle Ian before I left the house.

The drive across town would’ve been quicker, had there not been an abundance of snow on the ground, but somehow I made it work and arrived at the party fashionably late. I parked in my usual spot and headed inside, my faux fur coat keeping my warm as I made my way towards the elevator inside. Once I stepped in, I clicked the right button and didn’t dwell much on the ride upwards and, once it reached its peak, I stepped out and made my way towards Penny’s suite. I knocked on the door, waiting anxiously for a response, and smiled broadly when Rose herself answered the door.

“Ah, Iana, darling!” she gushed, stepping forward and embracing me, air-kissing me on each cheek before bringing me inside. “Pierre, this is Iana Milkovich. Please take her coat,” she said to the gentleman standing there.

“Very good, ma’am,” he said to Rose, and took my coat and small clutch bag, which Rose assured me would be kept safe.

“Don’t you look _gorgeous_!” Rose gushed, her tone absolutely sincere. “I absolutely _knew_ that color would look fabulous on you!”

I smiled. “I’m very grateful for it, Rose. I love it.”

“I’m glad. And that necklace—it’s beautiful!”

“Thank you. It’s one of Penny’s.”

“Of course—I’d recognize the design anywhere. She prefers curved lines to straight ones. And the diamonds—a true Kennedy touch. Was it from her?”

I shook my head. “No. The handwriting was a bit muddled, so say the least. It looked like it read ‘Cherry’...”

“Cherie, Penny’s personal secretary,” Rose said, patting my arm. “Such a sweet girl. I went to school with her mother. She’s just a few years older than you, dear. Now that she knows you’re practically one of the family, she must have gifted it to you. Penny or I may have mentioned you admiring the prototype, but Penny insisted that upon a few perfections, that we should only make one, which you now have.”

“This is one-of-a-kind?” I whispered.

“Of course, darling,” Rose replied. “Penny wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“And how is Penny this evening?”

“Penny’s in an absolute tizzy, I’m afraid,” Rose said softly.

“Why? Is she all right?” I asked.

Rose smiled. “She will be,” she assured me. “Desmond Cole is here tonight, and my little girl could really use her best friend right about now.”

“Best friend?” I asked stupidly.

“You, of course, darling,” Rose said, squeezing my arm as we walked. “Although I quite think of you as the second daughter I never had. But Penny has spoken so highly of you that I absolutely think you’re the sister she’s always needed.” Rose brought me over to where Penny was standing by one of the massive floor-to-ceiling windows, her black cocktail dress not an inch out of place, of course. “Darling!” Rose trilled. “Look who I found!”

Penny turned then, her blonde hair a perfect curled halo as she spotted me on her mother’s arm, relief flooding her face. “Oh, _finally_ you’re here!” she whispered.

“I’ll leave you girls to it,” Rose said, squeezing my arm again and Penny’s shoulder before flitting like a ballerina through the crowd.

“She took lessons as a child,” Penny said, and my eyes snapped back to hers. “Ballet. Jazz tap. Salsa. I guess you could say she’s a natural.”

“Clearly,” I replied. “I can’t move like that in heels, even when I’m not pregnant.”

Penny laughed then, but her clear nervousness from before was clearly not alleviated, so I stepped closer, and Penny immediately made a grab for my arm. “I take it that my mother spoke to you upon your arrival…”

I blinked, surprised at the formal back to her words. “Well, given that she seems to like me as a person, I think that, generally, anyone would greet a guest of their child’s. Besides, it’s the holiday season, after all…”

Penny pulled her lower lip into her mouth then, looking uneasy. “Did she happen to mention Desmond Cole to you?” she asked.

“She did,” I replied. “Which one is he?”

“Over there,” she said, nodding over her shoulder to a six-foot-two god; he was blond-haired, blue-eyed, dapper in a suit, and was speaking to Liam, a glass of champagne in his hand. “He’s sixteen, just turned, and Liam’s taken him under his wing. His father, Robert Cole, was best friends with Dad, so he and I have known each other for years.”

“Who’s that next to him?” I asked, nodding to the girl next to him, who had the same blue eyes, but silky-looking, chestnut-brown hair, and was nodding along with the conversation, her blue cocktail dress matching her eyes perfectly.

“That’s Lacey Cole, Desmond’s twin sister,” Penny said softly, almost as if she was a priest giving a holiday blessing.

“ _The Cole Twins_ ,” I mused, putting on a dramatic voice. “Coming soon to Netflix, about a pair of rich twins who solve mysteries. A modern take on _Nancy Drew_ or _The Hardy Boys_.”

“Mom’s got it wrong, you know…”

I blinked, turning back to look at Penny, who looked a combination of ashamed and nervous as she looked back out the window. “What is she wrong about?” I asked.

“Me…liking Desmond,” she said, her hands wringing themselves on her black skirt. “I get all happy whenever they’re around and she automatically assumed it was because Desmond was there but it’s not…”

“It’s because of Lacey,” I said, figuring it out.

Penny turned to look at me then, fear in her eyes. “Only Liam’s figured it out, and now you,” she said softly, her voice nervous.

I nodded. “When did you know?”

“Right before Dad died. I was nine,” she said softly. “And then when I was twelve, Lacey had a boyfriend and Liam thought I was jealous because he was so cute, as he put it. But I wasn’t…I was jealous, I mean, but I wanted Lacey, not the boyfriend…”

“She still have that boyfriend? Or any boyfriend?”

“No,” Penny replied. “She’s single.”

“You guys close?” I ask her, deliberately keeping my voice quiet.

She nodded. “Yeah. Other than you, she’s probably my closest friend.”

“Does she know?”

Penny scoffed. “Jeez, if she did know, she probably would’ve ended our friendship a long time ago,” she said, blinking back tears. “For Christ’s sake. Here my mom is, practically planning my wedding, and it’s to the wrong Cole twin! She thinks I’m in love with Desmond…”

“But you’re in love with Lacey,” I said softly.

“You’re what?”

Penny lets out a gasp then and we turn around, and I know that we could do one of several things here, as Lacey now stood opposite the pair of us. “Lacey…” She whispered. “Um… This is Iana Milkovich, that friend I was telling you about…”

“So, you’re Iana,” Lacey said, smiling at me and extending her hand. “Penny’s told me all about you. It’s so nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” I replied, taking her hand and shaking it. “So… You still in school?”

“Oh, no,” Lacey replied waving it off like it didn’t matter. “I graduated high school at thirteen and then Penny here asked me to be her main model, so that’s what I do. I make bank, so Penny and I have our penthouse across town. It’s great.”

“Wait, you live together?” I asked, and Penny flushed.

“We do,” Lacey said, answering for Penny. “Which surprises the hell out of me, considering that Penny’s apparently in love with me.”

Penny sighed. “I wanted to tell you, Lace, but my mom was so dead set on me being with your brother that it was easier for everyone to accept…”

Lacey pursed her lips. “So, you lied?”

She sighed. “In a way, yeah, I did.”

Lacey nodded. “Okay. You want a truth, then?” she asked, her blue eyes flashing. “What in the hell took you so long?!”

Penny gasped as I covered my mouth to keep myself from laughing. “What took me so long? I mean, we’re best friends…”

“Right, we’re best friends. And I’ve been having these feelings for you since I ended things with Travis four years ago,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. “Do you realize how much it hurt me to hear Mama Rose talk about you and Desmond getting married and giving her grandchildren one of these days?”

Penny shook her head. “No. I had no idea.”

“Course you didn’t,” Lacey said, sighing, “because I didn’t say anything either. Oh, fuck this,” she said then, stepping towards Penny and taking her by the hand, whereupon she kissed her in full view of the party.

I knew that, despite being out in the open, that the pair would likely need some space to talk, so I migrated over to the other side of the room. I stared out another floor-to-ceiling window, taking in the beautiful city lights and enjoying the lull of conversations from behind me. I heard footsteps a moment later and, turning, saw Liam standing there. “Hey there,” I said, not hoping for a repeat of Halloween.

“Hi,” he said, turning and looking over his shoulder for a moment, where Penny and Lacey were making out on the other side of the room. “You know about that?” he asks, turning back to me and pointing in their direction.

I laughed. “Not until a few minutes ago, no.”

Liam nodded. “Right,” he said. “So, I heard you met my mother?”

I smiled. “I did,” I told him. “Don’t know what you and Penny were so worried about,” I went on then, seeing Rose hugging both Penny and Lacey a moment later. “Seems to me like she’s well-adjusted to Penny… Guess she couldn’t really be herself while your dad was still here,” I said quietly, hoping I haven’t overstepped.

“None of us could,” Liam admitted. “We weren’t happy.”

I nodded. “I get that,” I replied. “And I’m sorry.”

He smiled. “So am I,” he said.

“Liam…”

“Look, I know we need to talk at some point, Iana, but it’s New Year’s, and this is Penny’s party, and I guess, in a way, her coming out,” he said, his voice a little unsteady. “So, I was thinking that, maybe, we can put everything on the back burner for now, and just enjoy the night?”

I nodded, smiling up at him again. “I’d like that.”

“Great,” Liam said. He turned then as the orchestra started up what could potentially be a slow dance number, and hesitated for a moment before turning back to me. “Dance with me?” he asked then, his voice nervous.

I blinked. “You sure?” I asked. “I look like a beached whale…”

Liam inadvertently cut me off then, by taking my hand in his and kissing it. “You’ve never looked more beautiful to me, Iana,” he replied. “Dance?”

A slow smile spread across my lips. “Okay,” I replied. “But forgive me in advance if I step on all your toes…”

He grinned. “You can step on my toes anytime,” he replied, and gently pulled me out onto the dance floor with the other couples, and we danced next to Penny and Lacey, whereupon I caught Rose’s eye, and she immediately smiled in approval.

. . .

_The notion that I would be sneaking off at some point during the Christmas party to rendezvous with Axel caused me to sit a little bit straighter in my seat as Cara drove the four of us to the party at her parent’s beautiful house. I’d figured out, based on the description, which house was theirs by looking online, and it was just as beautiful in person. I got out of the car, and thought it was endearing that Laurie took my hand to walk up to the house, as the four of us trooped up the walk and towards the front door, which opened immediately._

_“Ah, Cara darling,” said Humphrey Hastings, who had Cara’s eyes but was well over six-feet tall, taking Cara by the hands and kissing her on the cheek. “Lawrence, my boy,” he said, shaking his hand and clapping him on the back. “And my little Laurie!” he said, bending down and scooping up Laurie, who rewarded his grandfather with a shout and a laugh. “And this must be Iana Gallagher-Blomqvist, what I think will prove to be your greatest achievement.”_

_“She’s not a piece of pottery or a vase, Dad,” Lawrence said, shaking his head at Humphrey, who pouted slightly at being reprimanded by his son-in-law as we were all guided into the house itself._

_“That’s right, she’s also a dear friend to me,” Cara said, putting a protective arm around my shoulders. “And we’re not here to discuss the case. Remember, no mixing business with pleasure during the holidays,” she quipped._

_“Right, right,” Humphrey said, turning his gaze onto me. “So, Iana, I hear from my daughter that you hate cops.”_

_I smiled at Humphrey. “So, Humphrey, I hear that you prefer your daughter to your stepson and show it whenever possible.”_

_“Iana!” Cara cried. “Dad, I don’t know what she…”_

_Humphrey held up his hand to his daughter, but kept his eyes firmly upon me then. “I hear that your father is close friends with Mason Crowe.”_

_I nodded. “Yeah, he is.”_

_“His son Clark is just out of the academy now and patrolling the streets. We’ve got high hopes for that young man,” he said, smiling. “But, you seem to have a quick wit and a sparring tongue, Iana. Use both of those well,” he said, and guided us into the lavish living room._

_I caught sight of Axel immediately, whose eyes quickly darkened at my appearance; I was wearing a knee-length red dress with a daring neckline, black sweater tights, and my black Mary Jane shoes. I gave him a clandestine smile, and milled around for a moment, introducing myself and making conversation until Margot Hastings put herself in my way and doted over me, as one might a new family member. I was shocked, but then saw the sherry in her hand and could smell it on her breath, and caught wind of just how good a mood she was in._

_After twenty minutes, I excused myself to find the bathroom, and, when I found it, was just about to step inside when I felt a pair of hands on my face. “Who is it?” I asked then, hating that I couldn’t keep the fear from my voice._

_“Just me,” Axel whispered, whipping me around._

_“Hi,” I said, but was cut off by his lips finding mine. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him with me into the bathroom, and he promptly kicked the door behind him. I let out a slight squeal then as he effortlessly lifts me onto the counter, and drags down my tights and panties, and I let him, before wrapping my legs around his torso, bringing him closer to me and unzipping his pants. “Hello there,” I whisper._

_“And hello there,” he says, inching his hand up my leg, which ignites another squeal from me, and I yank him back towards me then._

_“Wait, wait,” Axel said then, and I still held his face, but permitted him to pull away enough to look into my eyes. “I love you.”_

_I gasped then. “What?” I whispered._

_“I love you,” he replied. “Be mine. Be my girlfriend.”_

_I smiled up at him. “I love you, too,” I whispered, pulling him close again. “Of course I’ll be your girlfriend, Axel,” I whispered into his ear._

_After we’d finished, Axel made sure that I was all put-together again before he quickly left the bathroom. I did my business before I washed my hands, straightened my clothes, and left myself, making my way back towards the party. I went down a different hallway, thinking it would take me in another direction, and came to a stop when I heard voices. I figured I was close to the kitchen, due to the hanging pots on the wall opposite me, and I could tell that the voices belonged to Humphrey and Axel._

_“How long has it been going on?!” Humphrey hissed at him._

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

_“With that slippery little cunt that Cara’s representing—Iana!”_

_There was a smashing of something then, and my heart raced in my throat. “Don’t you dare call her that!”_

_“Ah-ha! I knew it. She does mean something to you.”_

_“We’re_ just _having fun, Humphrey.”_

_“Fun?! Jesus, Axel. If you were ten years younger, it would still be seen as controversial, what you’ve been doing.”_

_“We haven’t been doing anything.”_

_“My security cameras beg to differ,” Humphrey replied. “Did you honestly think I wouldn’t turn them on, knowing that my grandson, daughter, and son-in-law would be visiting?”_

_“Shit,” Axel whispered._

_“Shit is right. They caught you kissing your little ghetto whore outside the bathroom. I saw the look on her face, and god knows what you were doing when the door closed…”_

_“Don’t call her a ghetto whore, because she’s not.”_

_“You all like to flock together, don’t you?” Humphrey demanded. “Probably the only thing that gets you up, your kind.”_

_“Stop talking about us like we’re not human, just because of where we come from!” Axel said, speaking through his teeth._

_“You may as well not be, the way you’ve been behaving,” he shot back. “Now, tell me. What does she mean to you?”_

_“Nothing,” Axel said then, his tone filled with hate. “She’s a child. Probably acted like this because she saw what Cara’s lifestyle was like. Likely assumed that, as her half-brother, I’d live similarly, but, of course, I don’t, since you’ve made it abundantly clear over the years that I’m not your son.”_

_“You’re damn right you’re not my son,” Humphrey growled. “Any son of mine wouldn’t act this way, swayed by a teenage girl who comes from a questionable background. She’s seeing a therapist, you know, for the trial. Your sister is trying to get a not guilty by reason of insanity defense issued for her.”_

_“Jesus,” Axel whispered._

_“Even if this were to be kept under wraps until she was of age, it would be never be appropriate, considering her background, and the notion that she’s violent, as well as mentally ill. And just consider how she’d look. She’d never measure up to be in this family. Besides, she’s not nearly pretty, or worthy enough…”_

_“I know,” Axel said, growling at him. “Don’t you think I know that? Why do you think I kept her hidden away? Because she didn’t fucking matter to me, Humphrey. Ever.”_

_I steeled myself for a moment then, and walked around the corner, so that they both could see me, and both looked shocked to see me standing there. “You can both go fuck yourselves, because you’re both fucking assholes,” I said simply to them, hating that I was crying, but no longer caring completely as I ran from the kitchen, through the living room, and out of the house as quickly as I could._

. . .

My next day at Patsy’s was four days later, and I was assigned to work from eight until two, with a break at noon for a half-hour for lunch, which was much less than my six-hour typical shift. I said nothing about it, even though I’d been counting pennies like mad to make sure I’d have enough for baby necessities in the next couple of months. I arrived in the employee locker room, just as Franny was tying her apron in place, and she hugged me.

“So, how was that big, swanky party you went to?” she asked.

I grinned back at her. “It was nice,” I replied.

“Yeah?” she asked, checking her phone. “Our shift doesn’t start for another five minutes, so spill to me, Iana.”

I rolled my eyes playfully then, hanging up my winter coat inside my locker. “Well, turns out that Rose was wrong about Penny, big time…”

“Wrong about…?”

“Who she was into,” I said. “Apparently, Rose was dead-set on Penny being into this guy, Desmond Cole, who is pretty gorgeous, but, it turns out, Desmond’s got a twin sister, Lacey, and she’s Penny’s roommate, other best friend, and main model…”

“And Penny’s in love with her?”

I nodded. “Ding-ding-ding,” I replied.

“How’d Lacey take it?”

“Walked right in on our conversation,” I said with a grin. “She heard everything. She was shocked, to say the least, and then she tells Penny she loves her, too. So, now they’re a couple that lives together…”

“How’d Rose take it?”

“She literally didn’t give a fuck,” I replied, laughing. “I think, at the end of the day, she just wants her kids to be happy…”

“And, speaking of Rose’s kids, how did Liam behave?”

“Surprisingly well,” I said lightly. “He apologized, and we agreed that we needed to talk, but put the conversation onto the back burner, because it was Penny’s party,” I replied.

“When are you going to talk?”

“No idea,” I said. “He took a red-eye from O’Hare to Tokyo to sign a business deal of some kind right after the party, and he’ll be gone a few weeks.”

“Maybe you’ll have the baby before he gets back…”

I laughed. “I’ve still got a while. Don’t rush her.”

“All right, girls,” Mom said then, stepping into the employee locker room. “Franny, we have hungry customers. Get out there, please.”

“Right, Aunt Murphy,” Franny replied, squeezing my shoulder. “Talk to you later,” she said quietly to me before slipping out into the dining area.

“Iana, my office, now,” Mom said, and I did my best not to groan as I got to my feet, making my way down the hall after her and into her office. “Why don’t you sit down?” she asked, and nodded to her desk chair.

“Thanks, but I’m fine standing,” I replied, crossing my arms. “What did you need to talk about? I have customers waiting, too.”

She sighed. “I wanted to talk about you taking some maternity leave.”

I shook my head. “Not gonna happen.”

“Is this about the money? Because if it’s about the money, Nicholas and I will get you anything you need for her…”

I shook my head again. “No, thanks. I’ve got it.”

Mom dragged her hands through her hair. “Look, Iana, I’ve been trying to be patient with you while you have your ‘I’m not going to live at home until you respect me’ rebellious streak, but this shit ends here. Come home.”

I gritted my teeth. “Not happening.”

“Why not?” she demanded. “Why won’t you come home?”

“Simple,” I said, scoffing. “Because I don’t fucking want to. Not the way things are, at least. I’m tired of feeling like an…”

“A what?” she asked.

My eyes snapped to hers. “An outlier,” I replied.

“What are you saying right now?” she cried out. “You’re not…”

I rolled my eyes at her. “I knew you wouldn’t understand,” I said. “I’ve got to get out there and wait tables. No maternity leave,” I told her, my voice firm as I left her office, slamming the door behind me.

. . .

_I stepped into Cara’s office at the appointed hour. “You wanted to see me?”_

_“Yeah,” Cara replied, waving me in, and I perched on the chair, while Cara stared at me for a moment, looking concerned. “You look thin.”_

_I shrugged. “Things are bound to change. I haven’t seen you in a month.”_

_“Because you refused to see me. Only phone consultations since December,” she replied, her tone clipped. “Is this about something that happened at the Christmas party? Because nobody’s telling me anything…”_

_I fixed my gaze onto hers then, knowing that the time was now. “I was fucking Axel,” I said then, my voice devoid of any emotion._

_Cara blinked. “You were what?”_

_“Axel. Your brother,” I said, hoping to god she didn’t think I meant her son. “Axel and I were fucking since a week after we met.”_

_“Jesus Christ,” she whispered._

_“We kept it from you, from everyone, because he could’ve lost his job,” I say with a shrug. “Not that any of it matters now…”_

_“Fuck, what’d he do?” she demanded._

_“Your dad caught us at the party,” I said. “We hooked up in the bathroom, and his security cameras must’ve picked something up.”_

_“Holy fuck,” Cara said, putting her head into her hands._

_“Son of a bitch told me he loved me, asked me to be his girlfriend,” I said, my voice still cold and unfeeling. “I said yeah, I would. Then, once I left the fucking bathroom, the fucking asshole told your dad I didn’t mean shit to him. Said he was just having fun with me,” I said, a bitter laugh escaping my lips then as tears slipped down my face. “I should’ve known, though, right? I mean, the thirteen year age difference is controversial at best, illegal at worst… God, I’m just a fucking idiot…”_

_“You’re not,” Cara said firmly, looking back up at me._

_My eyes locked back onto hers. “Why? How the fuck could you know?”_

_“Because it was fucking different with you, that’s why!”_

_I rolled my eyes, the tears still falling from my eyes like there was no tomorrow. “Right. Yeah, sure,” I muttered._

_“He loves you,” Cara told me, her voice so firm that I thought it could splinter her desk. “He’s never told anyone that before. And he asked you to be his girlfriend? He fucking meant it, Iana, believe me.”_

_“Then why the fuck would he say all that fucked shit to Humphrey?!” I demanded, turning back to look at her. “If he loves me, if he wanted me…”_

_“Christ. He did it to fucking protect you!” she said, and I stared at her then, shocked. “If my dad wants to go after somebody, he does. He’d have gone after you, fucked you up even more than you already are. He may be my dad, Iana, but he’s a son of a bitch.”_

_“He… He meant it?” I whispered._

_“If he said it, he meant it,” Cara said softly. “Axel never lies, unless it’s to protect someone he loves,” she tells me._

. . .

With four more days of the month to go, I decided that a quiet night in was just what I needed, so the knock on the door is surprising to me that evening, as Franny and Ezra had been invited out by Jay earlier that night. I’d been invited along as well, but was taking Dr. Lennox’s advice and taking some me-time. However, I was touched when Jay offered to bring me something back and, despite his cryptic manner on Christmas, I accepted. Whether I liked the fact that he was keeping secrets from Franny or not, the man was a damn fine cook.

I approached the front door, slightly annoyed as I’d had to delay progress in the book I’d been dying to read, and marked my place with my thumb, hoping that I’d be able to return to it quickly, and that whoever was at the door wasn’t important. I peered through the spyhole then, and felt my eyes automatically rolling back into my head, as I spotted my mother standing there, illuminated by the porch light. I felt a sigh escaping through my lips, knowing that I had to remain calm, and that, even though my mother was a stressor in my life, I couldn’t allow her to get to me.

I reached out then and opened the door, plastering a smile on my face as I stood there in my jeans, T-shirt, and normally baggy sweater, which was straining against my expanding belly. I had my socks and sneakers on, because my feet were so cold these days, and I automatically wrapped my arms around myself then, either to ward off her potential cruel words, or just from the waft of cold air that came from the opening door. As I stood there, staring at my mother, and wondering who would be the first to speak, I decided it best to take control of the situation, and permit myself to speak first.

“Hello, Mother,” I said plaintively then, keeping the forced smile in place. “How may I help you this evening?”

“Franny or Ezra in?” she asked.

I shook my head. “They’re out with Jay,” I replied.

“Not you?”

“I’m not into third-wheeling. Besides, Ezra’s got that covered,” I said with a slight shrug. “And Dr. Lennox told me to rest, as you know very well, given the doctor’s note I was obligated to hand over to you.”

She sighed. “I didn’t come here to fight, Iana.”

“Great,” I replied, stepping back a little. “Then by all means, come on in.”

She looked surprised by the invitation, but nevertheless stepped over the threshold. “Thank you,” she said carefully, stepping inside and moving towards the couch as I shut and locked the door behind her. “It was getting cold out there,” she continued then, perching on one end of the couch and taking off her earmuffs, which I knew were a gift from Nicholas.

“So… Can I get you anything to drink?” I asked, knowing that I had to be hospitable, and she was my mother, despite everything.

“Water’s great. Thanks. I don’t want you to trouble yourself, Iana…”

“No trouble,” I called over my shoulder then as I traipsed into the kitchen, already breathing better now that there was some space between us. However, as I got the water filtration jug out of the fridge, my teeth immediately set on edge when I noticed my mother leaning over the kitchen island, staring at me like I was a fucking monkey in a zoo. “The kids doing okay?” I asked then, knowing that the most normal thing to do was to keep the conversation going, but I felt my wrist shaking slightly then as I poured her a glass of water.

“They’re fine,” Mom replied, and I knew that she saw my shaking wrist, but didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that she’d seen it. “You?”

I shrugged, turning around and returning the water jug into the fridge. “Can’t complain,” I said lightly, moving the glass towards her.

“Thanks.” She sipped the water carefully, almost as if she’d thought I’d fucking poisoned it or some shit. Her purse was placed beside her on the island, and I saw that there were papers sticking up out of it.

“What are those?” I asked, before I could stop myself.

“Mmmm,” Mom said, almost as if we’d come to the direct purpose of her being there, and she dipped into the leather bag then, and showed them to me. “Checks for you and Franny,” she said, and I nodded, looking towards the larger document at the back. “And here is a plan I’ve come up with for you to take maternity leave.”

I gripped the other side of the island again, remembering to work on my breathing, knowing full well that I couldn’t rise to her. “We’ve discussed this already,” I said then, doing my best not to speak through my teeth. “I won’t be taking maternity leave, Mother. I can’t take maternity leave because I can’t afford it.”

“Iana, don’t be ridiculous—of course you can afford it!” she cried out then, quickly growing exasperated with me. “I’ve drawn up a plan here. I’ve also taken into account how many tips you get per shift, and averaged them out per week, and added them to your fee. So, you’d really be making close to fifty bucks more a week, meaning that you’d be making close to eight hundred per week…”

“Mom, get this straight here,” I told her, trying to keep my voice as level as possible. “I cannot afford maternity leave. Franny and I are going to make sure that our days off don’t match up, so that we can split the child care…”

“Honey, you know that’ll never work,” Mom replied, and I hated how condescending she sounded and all-knowing she thought she was. “It can’t work. Franny’s got expenses, too, so you probably couldn’t bring the baby to live here…”

“Franny says I can,” I told her.

“Baby, she was likely just being polite. I’m sure she doesn’t mind if you crash here now and again, but a baby is a huge responsibility. I know Mickey and Ian likely wouldn’t mind if you stayed with them long-term, but your real place is at home…”

“So, that’s it, then,” I said, shaking my head. “God, I can’t fucking believe this. You just waltz in here with what you think is an automatic answer to all my money problems and then you give me the golden carrot—you want me to move home so that you can micromanage my parenting. You want me to fail!”

“Iana, just calm down,” she said.

“No, I will not calm down!” I cried out then. “I’m sick and tired of you treating me this way, like I’m nothing!”

“You’re my daughter. And as your mother, I command your respect.”

“Fucking earn it!” I shouted. “Don’t be my mother when it’s convenient! Don’t wave around that title like you’ve won something! You haven’t won shit, especially the right to be my mother. You seek to tear me down at every turn, blabbing about my diagnosis to anyone who will listen. Not to mention you dragging out your backstory every moment you can, like you’re the fucking champion of people who’ve survived traumatic shit! You don’t know half of what I went through, Mother, and for good reason. I don’t want to compete with you, because I’m sick and tired of you thinking you’re an automatic winner.”

“Trauma doesn’t make you a winner, Iana!” she shouted then, coming around the island like some kind of fucking venomous viper. “You’d be nothing without the sacrifices I’ve made! You wouldn’t have shit!”

I scoffed then, rolling my eyes as I felt the heat radiating out from every pore over my body, which couldn’t be good, but I was beyond caring. “Maybe it would’ve been better if you’d just gotten rid of me and had the chance, and fucking waited to have kids with Nicholas.”

“Yeah,” she said, glaring at me. “Maybe it would have.”

I opened my mouth to say something then, but no words came out as I felt something lurch from inside me then. I felt my eyes widen then at the unexpected pain that I felt, whereupon I lowered my eyes, and saw that I was literally standing in a pile of blood. I felt all color drain from my face then as I looked up at my mother, who looked appalled. “Fuck,” I whispered to her, feeling faint then as my knees buckled, and I crashed to the ground.

“Iana?!” my mother screamed then. “IANA!” she yelled, as my head hit the floor, and everything went black.


	9. I’ve Been Waiting For You

For as long as I could remember, I had never wanted children of my own; the notion of having massive water sack literally depending on you for every little thing seemed downright sickening to me, when it came right down to it. Plus, there was the notion of my devotion to Clayton and Fionn, and I’d always believed that that would be enough. And yet, once I’d figured out I was pregnant, and once I’d gotten over the shock of it all, plus Andy’s proposal and my subsequent rejection of it, I had felt devoid of all emotion for months on end towards it. Even when I told my parents that I wanted my child, and remembering the fierceness of my tone when I’d yelled that it was my baby to Andy, and that I didn’t need a fucking thing from him…

And then came the day I figured out that it was a little girl growing inside me, and hearing her heartbeat on the monitor. Through the tears in my eyes, I’d clutched at Pop’s hand, almost as if I needed assurance that all of this was real. His assurances that it all was real, and that I definitely had a baby girl who was coming in four and a half months was finally happening. Since that day, I’d felt a bond towards the baby that I’d never felt before in my entire life. From that day on, she was mine, and would be my life, and now, perhaps, we would be leaving the world together, and I was fully prepared to meet her there…

. . .

 

MURPHY’S POV

“We’re losing her. We need a crash cart in here right now!”

“Wait. What?!” I nearly screamed, attempting to charge forward, to protect my baby. I hadn’t been there for her, in these last several years, but seeing that it had literally eaten away at her for all this time… I couldn’t lose her; not now, not ever. Tommy had tried to get them all away from me once upon a time, but now, he was not breathing down my neck… “Why do you need a crash cart?!” I cried out, and felt enraged when doctors held me back. “What’s going on?! Please… I am literally begging you to tell me something…”

“Ma’am, we’re going to need you to clear the room…”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on!” I fired back, drawing myself up to my full height. “That is my daughter, and I demand to know what’s going on.”

“Ma’am, if you refuse to clear the premises…”

“Don’t you dare threaten me!” I said, narrowing my eyes at one of the nurses, watching as the crash cart was wheeled into the room behind me. “My husband and I are lawyers, and I’ll have you know that he’s best friends with a high-ranking cop, and his godfather is a fucking judge for Christ’s sake. Now then,” I said, doing my best to keep calm, although I was still seething, “will you please tell me what’s going on?”

“Clear!” said the attending doctor, and I turned immediately moved my head around the nurse as I watched, horror-struck, as he smashed those instruments together, and placed them directly onto Iana’s heart, and her entire body rose up to meet them immediately thereafter. “We got nothing… Let’s try it again,” the doctor said.

“We’re trying to get her pulse back,” the nurse said, pushing me out into the hallway, and I immediately stiffened at her hands on me, for I was never one for physical contact outside my family, given my past. “Your daughter is experiencing severe blood loss, which may be attributed to preeclampsia,” she went on, and I felt the gasp escaping my throat before I could call it back into the wells of my subconscious. “We need to get her heart rate back on track…”

“What about the baby?” I demanded then, wanting to throttle the nurse for attempting to handle me with kid-gloves. “She’s five weeks early…”

“Our first priority is to Iana,” the nurse explained calmly, and I was enraged at her demeanor, even though I knew it was likely that she saw situation like this all the time. “Now, I’ve got to go back in there and help your daughter. Are you going to be all right?”

I must have nodded, for the nurse left my side and returned to the operating room. Just as I was about to peer through the windows, the curtains were pulled, and I stepped back, stumbling backwards over my two feet as I crashed back into the wall behind me. I covered my mouth with my hands then, trying to muffle the cries. Hands shaking, I get my phone out of my pocket then, quickly dialing Nicholas’s number.

“You’ve reached Nicholas Blomqvist, attorney at law, and, sorry ladies and gentlemen, I’m madly in love with my wife, Murphy, but, if you’re getting this, I’m not available to return your call right now. Please leave your name and number in your message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks a lot. Bye.”

“Straight to voicemail. Really?” I muttered, waiting for the beep to come. “Baby, it’s me,” I said then, willing for my voice not to shake. “Listen, I’m at the hospital. It’s not me, it’s Iana,” I went on, knowing that I had to get to the point. “She’s had some severe blood loss, and her heart has stopped,” I whispered into the phone then, hoping that he’ll be able to hear that. “I don’t know if they’re going to be able to save the baby, but we can only hope. I know you’re in LA and flying back in tonight, but I just thought you should know,” I went on, blubbering like a complete idiot but unable to stop. “I love you. Get home safe and see you soon,” I whispered, ending the message and turning then at the sound of hurried footsteps, and saw Ian and Mickey hurrying towards me. “Guys,” I said then, slipping my phone back into my pocket, my words a choked sob as I somehow managed to close the final distance between us.

“What the fuck was that text about?!” Mickey demanded. “What’s going on?”

“Mick,” Ian said, cutting across him.

“No, he’s right,” I said, pulling back then and dragging my hands over my face. “I was over at Franny’s apartment to drop off hers and Iana’s paychecks. Iana and I got into it—don’t give me that look, Mick, I know it was wrong,” I said, pulling my hair back from my neck and digging my fingers into my scalp.

“What was the fight about?” Ian asked, placing a hand on Mickey’s shoulder in a desperate attempt to calm him.

“You’re way too hard on her,” Mickey put in, shaking his head, his loyalty for our daughter in every word he spoke. “You’ve always been too hard on her.”

“Come on, Mick…”

“Ian, stop, he’s totally right…”

“Then why do you keep acting this way?!” Mickey shouted. “Someday, your constant picking and rejections are just gonna kill her!”

“I know that—don’t you think I know that?!” I said, tears springing to my eyes again. “The fight was just about how I thought that she should take some maternity leave,” I tell them, and Mickey looks shocked, but I knew he knew how stubborn Iana could be. “Iana said she couldn’t afford it and then we started yelling at each other…”

Ian sighed. “What happened?”

“I said some things that I regret,” I said softly.

“For fuck’s sake, Murph,” Mickey said, throwing up his hands.

“Goddammit, Mick, stop!” Ian shouted. “Then what’d she do?”

“She fainted,” I replied, shuddering at the memory of how horrible it was to watch. “She wasn’t responsive, and then she started bleeding…” I gestured with my hands where the blood had come from, for I didn’t want to make them uncomfortable, but I also could hardly say it myself.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Mickey said, slamming his fist into the wall.

“I called 9-1-1 immediately,” I went on, knowing that I had to keep talking. “They came and they got her, and I rode along… The bleeding wouldn’t stop,” I said, my voice lowering to a whisper almost automatically. “Then, when we got there, her heart…”

“Don’t say it,” Mickey said, turning and looking at me, lifting his finger and pointing it at me, his wrist shaking. “Don’t you fucking say it, Murph. Not Iana, please…”

I raised my eyes silently to his then, tear-stained face meeting tear-stained face. “Her heart stopped, Mick,” I replied.

“What about the baby?” Ian asked quietly.

“They said that Iana’s their first priority,” I told him.

“Can we see her?” Mickey asked, looking at the door. “She’s in there, right?”

“They sent me out,” I said quietly. “I think we have to wait…”

Mickey dragged a hand through his hair. “Not my daughter. We can’t lose her…”

“Our daughter,” I said, reaching out automatically and taking Mickey’s hand, before taking Ian’s hand as well. “She’s all of ours. And she’s not going anywhere. I’ll lay my life down for hers, just as I know you two would. We just…we can’t think that…”

Ian nodded. “And we won’t,” he replied, running a hand down Mickey’s back. “Let them do their job, Mick. She’ll be fine,” he said, but Mickey’s tormented expression was glued to the door that our daughter was behind. “She’ll be fine,” Ian said one last time, and as I followed Mickey’s eyes, I could only hope that my twin was right.

. . .

IANA’S POV

It was almost as if there was a faint flurry of activity around me, followed by a series of muffled sounds. It was then that there felt as if there was the aftermath of something heavy upon my chest, and then a sigh of relief. I listened further then, wanting to make sense of it all, for hadn’t I just been in the kitchen with my mother? We were fighting—but what else was new, really?—all about money, because that’s all that really seemed to matter…

“We’ve got Mom back!” came the exultant words.

The relief that followed from within me at escaping death was replaced by a voice of uneasiness from somewhere else in the room.

“Doctor…?” The voice was grave, almost as if there was something else they had to worry about on top of saving my life.

“What is it, Susan?” asked the doctor.

“It looks like the ordeal sent the patient into premature labor,” Susan said quietly.

“No!” I cried out then, my eyes snapping open as I bolted upright, ignoring the head rush I suddenly felt. I felt many pairs of eyes on me at that moment, but I couldn’t care less. “I’m five weeks early! She’s not ready yet… Don’t let her…”

“Miss Milkovich, I’m going to need you to calm down…”

“It’s Iana—just call me Iana, and don’t you fucking tell me to—!” I said, exasperated as I felt something attempting to escape from me then. “Oh, fuck!” I screamed then, falling back onto the pillows. I stared up at the bright lights of the ceiling, feeling beads of sweat forming on my forehead quickly then. I forced the air out of my lungs and back in again, gripping onto the sides of the bed as my hands shook, another scream issuing forth from somewhere within me, and I was unknowing of where the sweat ended and the tears began.

“Is there anyone you want with you?” asked a nurse.

“I want…Pops!” I screamed then, bolting upright again and bearing down, feeling as if my daughter wanted to arrive, and quickly. “Pops!” I yelled then, the word ripping from my mouth, and the doors flew open then and Pops himself dashed inside, and I felt myself calming down immediately then as I threw my arms around him.

“And what is your relationship to the patient?” the nurse asked.

“I’m her fucking father—now let me be with my kid!” Pops yelled, smoothing my hair carefully as he pulled back, glaring at the nurse before turning his attention back to me. “Just breathe with me, kiddo. You’ve got this…”

The nurse looked surprised at Pop’s outburst before turning back to me. “And will you be wanting anyone else here with you, Iana? Perhaps the father…”

“That punk isn’t involved!” Pops said, glaring at the nurse as he put an arm around my shoulders and took my hand.

“Iana?” she asked, ignoring Pops.

“My…mother,” I said, looking up then, and seeing that the doors were still open, but that nobody lingered outside. “Is she here?”

“Yeah, she’s here,” Pops said, leaning down and kissing my forehead.

“Mom!” I yelled then, trying to project as much as I could, and yet my voice trembled. “Mom! I need… Mama!” I cried out then on another wave of pain, squeezing my eyes shut as I felt weaker and weaker by the minute, knowing that I must have been experiencing some blood loss during the delivery process. “ _Mama_!” I screamed, and it was then that I heard footsteps and my eyes sprang open, and I saw her run into the room and come to my side.

“I’m here,” she said, pushing my hair back from my forehead. “I’m here, sweetheart.”

“Uncle Ian…I need him, too…”

“Right here, Iana,” Uncle Ian said, suddenly showing up beside Pops. “We’re all here for you, and we’re not going anywhere.”

“Mama,” I said, turning back to her and clasping her hand in my free on. “I want you…all of you…to stay. No matter what happens…”

“We’re here, darling. We’re here,” she assured me.

I focused on my breathing then, gripping onto Pops’s and my mother’s hands as the pain began to peak, growing more and more unbearable. I let out a groan through my teeth, which developed into a scream, and I couldn’t pull it back. I wasn’t even focusing on anything; all I wanted was for this to be over. I sobbed then, finally allowing the doctor’s words to break through my thoughts, listening as he ordered me to push. I knew I had to obey—both my daughter’s life and mine depended on it. I breathed in and out, all the while simultaneously hearing the doctor urging me to push, along with my mother’s, Pops’s, and Uncle Ian’s words of encouragement, but this was all I could handle…

“We have a baby,” the doctor said at last, and I immediately inched forward, despite my exhaustion, to look at the squalling infant. “Iana, this is your daughter.”

“Oh, my god,” I whispered, my voice hoarse, and my eyes nearly blinded by tears. I watched as the doctor handed her over to a nurse, who bathed and weighed her, before putting a fresh diaper on her, and wrapping her up in a pink blanket, and putting a pink hat atop her head, covering her raven hair. I felt relieved when my mother and Pops released my hands, and I got into a more comfortable position as the nurse handed her over to me. I pressed a kiss onto her forehead then, just holding her, soothing her, wanting her to bond with me…

“She’s perfectly healthy, despite the early date and slight trauma,” the doctor assured me. “And, I’m happy to report that she is six pounds, seven ounces.”

“Any names yet?” the nurse asked.

I sighed, lowering my eyes to my little girl. “Mikhaila,” I said without hesitation, and turned to look at Pops, who looked shocked, “after my father.” I quickly spelled it for the nurse, so as there would be no room for error. “We’ll call her Hailey,” I told him, and I couldn’t help but get proudness into my tone, for this was my daughter we were talking about here. “Mikhaila Nichole Milkovich,” I whispered. “All for my fathers.”

My mom smiled. “It’s beautiful, Iana.”

I smiled back at her then, before giving Uncle Ian and Pops another smile before lowering my eyes back to my daughter. “Hi, Hailey,” I whispered, pressing my lips to her forehead again. “I am so happy to meet you…”

Hailey opened her eyes slowly then, regarding me looking down at her. Her eyes were very dark, leading me to believe that she would have inherited my eyes as well, and her face seemed to register intelligence. She then began to fuss again and, understanding, I maneuvered the hospital gown so that Hailey could have something to eat. My mother swooped in then, taking off her scarf and wrapping it around me, so that it could go around my neck and around Hailey, but to also give me a sense of modesty.

“Thanks,” I said, smiling up at her as Hailey began to eat.

She smiled. “No problem,” she replied.

A second nurse came into the room a couple of moments later, and came up towards my bed with a smile on her face as she caught sight of Hailey. “You’ve got another visitor, Iana,” she informed me politely.

Instinctively, I wrapped my arms more tightly around Hailey, on the off-chance that Andy had unexpectedly showed up. “Who is it?” I asked.

“A Nicholas Blomqvist,” she replied.

“That’s my dad,” I said, peeking over at Pops, who didn’t seem offended by the comment. “He can come in,” I told her, vaguely remembering my mother mentioning that he had been in Los Angeles on business for the firm. “Send him in, please.”

The nurse nodded. “Of course, Iana,” she said, slipping back out of the room.

I straightened up in the bed then, doing my best not to disturb Hailey, kissing her forehead once again as I waited for the doors to open. When they did, I found myself smiling at him as he stepped inside the room, the words, “Hey, Dad,” escaping my lips automatically.

“Hey, Iana,” Dad replied, looking slightly shocked at the title I used, but not dwelling on it as he crossed slowly over to the bed then, and it was at that moment that Hailey swung her head around, gazing at him unabashedly. “Oh, my god,” he said softly, as he took her in then. “She’s beautiful, sweetheart.”

I nodded. “She really is…”

“Does she have a name yet?”

“She does,” I replied. “This is Hailey.”

“Hailey. That’s beautiful.”

“Short for Mikhaila,” I replied, biting my lip, hoping that Dad wouldn’t be offended by such a name choice.

“That’s a lovely name,” Dad said.

“Mikhaila Nichole Milkovich,” I told him, and his eyes snapped up from Hailey’s to meet mine at the name. “For both my fathers.”

“Really?”

I smiled at him. “Of course. A beautiful name for a beautiful baby girl.”

“I’d better go call Fiona,” Uncle Ian said in the lull that followed.

I nodded. “Please do,” I said, turning to look at him. “And…thank you. For being here for me during all this…”

Uncle Ian smiled, stepping forward and kissing my forehead. “Always,” he said, before slipping out of the room.

“And I’d better call Mandy,” Pops said, knowing that I likely wanted a moment alone with Mom and Dad. “You going to be okay, kid?”

I nodded up at him, so thankful for him. “Yeah, Pops. I’ll be fine.” I hesitated for a moment before I said, “I love you.”

Pops looked utterly touched. “I love you, too,” he said, kissing my forehead as Uncle Ian had done before he left the room.

“Look, I get it,” I said quietly to them, and they mutually turned and looked at me, “I get it now, after all this time. The whole having kids… I never thought I’d actually want to go through with something like this… Now that Hailey’s here, and knowing that she’s perfect and that she’s mine, I never want to be without her. I know that this maybe isn’t want you want to hear, and that maybe you think I’m throwing away my future by turning down Northwestern, but all I know is, my first priority is my daughter, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that she’ll want for nothing, because she’s my child, and I’d do anything for her.”

My mother smiled. “I’m so glad you figured that out, sweetheart. And… About earlier, honey, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

I smiled, cutting her off. “Water under the bridge,” I replied. “We both said things we shouldn’t have said. Let’s just leave it at that.”

“And we don’t think you’re ruining your future,” Dad said quickly. “Granted, we didn’t think you would be a mother this early, or at all, given your prior thoughts on the matter, but everyone out there is different.”

“That’s right,” Mom said. “And if this is what you want, raising Hailey and putting off college until later, or at all, then we support you. Because you’re our daughter, and it’s our job to love you no matter what.”

I smiled at then, relieved that we were finally getting things out in the open. “Thank you,” I said, and I truly meant it. “That really means a lot to me.”

Dad hesitated. “There is one other thing…”

I blinked, surprised. “Yeah? What’s that?”

“Honey, we understand that you like dividing your time living with Franny, and with Iana and Mickey, and we fully support you, but we want to let you know that if you wanted to, we want you to come home,” Mom said quietly. “We love you and we know that you’re all about independence and all that, but we’re your parents. We just want you to know that it’s an option, if that’s what you want.”

“What I want,” I said quietly, “is to come home. But, I’ve got Hailey now. Sure, my room is big enough for the both of us. I mean, she certainly doesn’t need a nursery, but…”

“We still have Charlie’s old crib, which we used for Carla as well,” Mom told me gently. “We can rearrange your bedroom to accommodate that, plus the changing table.”

I nodded. “And diapers? Holy hell, I just had a fucking baby and I’m responsible for another living thing,” I whispered, letting out a sigh of worry. “I thought I had weeks more to get everything, and I didn’t have a baby shower deliberately because it all seemed so stupid… I literally have nothing. Some mom I’m turning out to be.”

“We’ll get you all the basics you need,” Dad informed me gently.

“And I still have your stroller, the one we re-used for Carla,” my mother told me. “And I’ll send Ian to the house to pick up the matching carseat, too. You’ll need one if you want to leave here with Hailey, you know.”

I laughed a little then. “Yeah, I knew that much, thanks.”

“In a few weeks, you and I can go out together and get anything that we don’t already have for Hailey,” Mom said gently. “Your father will pick up the basics.”

I smiled, happier than I’d been in a long time. Not only was Hailey here, safe and sound, but my parents were welcoming me back with open arms. “Dividing my time living with Franny and Pops and Uncle Ian was fun and all,” I said after a moment. “And she’ll always be my best friend, but she and I are not cut out for living together. And two young children under one roof, plus a potential fight just brimming beneath the surface? No thank you. Not a good environment for Hailey.”

My mother reached out then, smoothing her hand down the side of my face, before she leaned down and brushed my forehead with her lips. “Your father and I are going to call the boys and Carla with an update. They’ll wanna know how their big sister is doing,” she told me quietly, her voice proud. “You should see if Hailey needs feeding again.”

“Can I see her for a moment?” Dad asked.

I blinked then, biting my lip, before I nodded. “Yeah, of course,” I said, kissing Hailey’s forehead before lifting her up, and handing her over to him.

Dad carefully lifted Hailey into his arms, and Mom inched forward then so as to get a better look at her. Dad gently pulled back her blanket, and seemed to be getting a good look at her diaper, and smiled to himself. “She needs to be changed.”

“Right,” I said, grabbing the edge of the hospital comforter and inching over to the side of the bed, placing my feet onto the ground. Getting to my feet, my heart suddenly began pounding in my ears, and I placed my hand onto my forehead, falling back down onto the bed. “Shit. Fucking head rush,” I said, laughing to myself.

“Honey, are you okay?” Mom asked, touching my forehead.

I nodded then, and tried to get to my feet again. “Yeah, fine…”

“Honey, you need to rest,” she reprimanded gently. “Dad can change Hailey, or I could, if you would prefer.”

I shook my head. “No, Dad’s got it, I guess…”

“I’ve got it, Iana,” Dad assured me then, walking over to where a makeshift changing table had been set up across the room.

“Let’s get you back in bed,” Mom said gently, propping up the pillows and straightening the blanket over me. “There we go,” she went on, pulling the little hospital crib closer to the bed, so as I could merely place Hailey into it when one or both of us needed sleep.

“Thanks,” I said, moving my head slightly so as I could watch as Dad spoke softly to Hailey as she lay down on the changing table, perfectly at ease with him changing her. I continued to watch as he got her a fresh diaper from the ones provided, and cleaned her up expertly. I found I was smiling then as he gathered up her wrap again, securing it tightly around her before sanitizing his hands and bringing her back to me.

“All changed,” he reported.

I nodded up at him, folding Hailey back into my embrace and kissing her forehead, thankful that she immediately settled back down in my arms. “Thank you,” I replied.

“We’ll let you rest now,” Mom said after a moment, taking another look at Hailey before she kissed my forehead, and Dad did the same before they both inched towards the door. “We’ll make those calls and then Dad will head out for Hailey’s things.”

I smiled. “Thank you guys, so much.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart,” Dad said gently, before he and my mother slipped out of my hospital room together.

After they left, I turned my gaze downward, back to my daughter, who gazed up at me with her saucer-like, dark blue eyes, and I knew then that she would soon have my dark brown eyes, which I’d inherited from my mother and Aunt Fiona. Supporting Hailey with my left arm, I carefully lifted my right arm, extending my index finger and gently running it over her forehead and cheek, almost as if I needed a physical assurance that all of this was real. I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was, and the warmth that I felt from the notion that I’d created her, carried her, and given birth to her… And she was mine, my baby, forever.

“Iana?”

I raised my eyes then at the familiarity of the voice, and my lips parted automatically then as I entered a state of shock. “Liam?” I asked then, my voice higher than usual, as my heart then began to hammer in my chest. “What are you doing here?”

“Your pops called me,” he admitted, his brows knitting together then, almost as if he was unsure if he was welcome there. “Is that okay?”

I nodded, knowing then that Pops must’ve had access to my phone, unless he’d suddenly managed to get ahold of Liam’s contact information… “Sure, it’s okay,” I replied, stumbling over my words. “It’s great to see you.”

Liam smiled. “Can’t think why,” he replied. “I’ve gotta admit, I was pretty horrible to you last time we really spoke to one another…”

“Last time?” I asked, giggling. “Last time was at Penny’s New Year’s party, and you were a perfect gentleman. It was a great night. Promise.”

“Okay, fine. Second to last time,” Liam said, smirking and shaking his head. “I’m still really sorry about that…”

I sighed. “Look, you were scared that the baby could’ve been yours,” I replied. “It’s really okay, Liam. I think if the roles were reversed, I would’ve said worse…”

“Why are you letting me off the hook just like that?” he asked. “I don’t deserve it.”

I shrugged slightly then, doing my best to keep a good hold on Hailey. “Look, maybe you do and maybe you don’t. The point is, I can’t allow myself to get into petty arguments anymore. I’m a mom now…” I broke off then, the wonderment of that statement flowing through me for a moment as I considered it. “…and, as a mom, I’ve got to do right by my baby. She’s now my number-one priority…”

“She?” Liam asked, inching closer. “It’s a girl?”

“She’s a girl,” I said, and found myself smiling up at him. “This is my daughter.”

Liam stepped closer then, and caught Hailey’s eye, who stared up at him as if she was contemplating who he really was. Slowly, Liam reached out then towards her, offering my daughter his finger, which Hailey gripped onto without hesitation. Liam beamed at the display before him, before looking up at me. “She’s beautiful.”

I nodded. “She is beautiful.”

“What’s her name?”

“This is Mikhaila Nichole Milkovich,” I replied, smiling proudly up at him.

“After your dads?”

I smiled at that, lowering my eyes back to my daughter. “Yeah, exactly. I won’t be calling her Mikhaila, though—well, unless she royally pisses me off…”

“You gonna call her Mickey, like your dad?”

I laughed a little then, not wanting to disturb her. “No. I’m calling her Hailey. I’ve always liked the sound of that name, and she looks like a Hailey…”

“Did… Did Andy get in touch with you?”

I blinked, surprised that Liam would ask me such a thing, and raised my eyes back to his. “No. I mean, I think I was abundantly clear when I turned down his marriage proposal…”

Liam sighed, remembering that day. “Look, I had no right just to confront you like that…”

I sighed back at him. “No, you’re right—you didn’t. We didn’t make any promises to one another even before I found out I was pregnant with Hailey. I guess we were all a little caught up in the moment that day…”

“Yeah, but going so far as to call you a gold-digger…”

I shook my head, cutting him off. “Look, we don’t have to rehash all the bullshit. I know that you’re sorry, and I forgive you. Now, let’s move on,” I told him, extending my hand, “as the friends we were always meant to be.”

Liam nodded stiffly then, almost as if he wanted to say more to me, but didn’t. “You’re going to be a good mom, Iana…”

Something shifted within me then as I slowly lowered my hands after he hadn’t took it, and I found I was nervous to reply to that statement, but ultimately forced myself to. “Why does it suddenly feel like I’m telling you goodbye?” I asked him then, and let a lighthearted chuckle escape my lips. “This isn’t goodbye…is it?”

Liam sighed. “Maybe it’s a goodbye to what we had…”

I felt myself automatically straightening my shoulders then, so as they wouldn’t deflate. “No, I guess you’re right,” I tell him. “I mean, now that I’ve got Hailey, she’s got to be my number-one priority, and I’ve got to adhere to a stricter lifestyle. No more indiscriminate fucking—I have an image to protect, now that I’ve got a daughter to protect.”

He nodded. “It’s for the best. We can agree on that, at least.”

I looked up at him again, and forced myself to nod back at him. “Yeah, it’s for the best. You have your cooperation to take care of, and I have Hailey. We’re going to be friends, and we’re going to act like mature adults throughout.”

Liam smirked. “You’re still not an adult.”

I rolled my eyes. “I turn seventeen in three months, and then I’ve got one more year, according to society,” I replied, trying my best not to sound too snarky. “But you know as well as I do that I’ve been an adult since I was five.”

He smiled. “Yeah, I know that.” He gazed down at me for a moment, before allowing his gaze to flicker to Hailey’s. “She’s one lucky girl, Iana.”

I nodded, before following his gaze to my daughter. “Yeah, she really is. I love her so much already, and this love can only grow. I never thought I’d want a child—there’s a lot of things I never knew I’d want. I guess that’s all part of the human experience—figuring out the stuff you want and don’t want as time goes by…”

“You wouldn’t be the first person to figure that out.”

I raise my eyes back to Liam then, and nearly flush under his gaze. “And I don’t think I’ll be the last person either,” I reply. “So, how’s Penny doing?”

“Well. She and Lacey are celebrating their one-month anniversary soon.”

“Guess that’s huge. Are sticks the customary gift?”

Liam laughed. “Maybe… Not sure.” He hesitated for a moment. “How was your day?”

I smiled. “I had a baby. Guess that tops a lot of days.”

“Guess you could say your day has a cherry on top,” he mused.

I blinked for a moment, raising my eyes to look at him, but he was too busy gazing at Hailey, and who could blame him, really? “Yeah,” I replied, smiling to myself. “Guess you could say something like that,” I said softly.


	10. Children and Fools Tell the Truth

I couldn’t take my eyes off Mom as she painstakingly wrapped up Hailey in numerous pink, fluffy blankets and placed her in her car seat. It was a bitterly cold day, just fifteen hours after my little girl had been born, and we’d been given the clear to return home. Pops and Uncle Ian had considerately driven my car from Franny’s place back to our neighborhood, and Franny, Jay, and Ezra were meeting us at the house so as they could all meet Hailey for the first time. Uncle Lip and Mandy would be coming, too, as well as Pops and Uncle Ian, and the rest of my siblings. I’d so far managed to get Mom and Dad to prevent Grandpa Hugo and Grandma Allie from coming over to see her, and Mom was totally supportive, although Dad seemed a little ticked off that his parents hadn’t been invited to the impromptu gathering.

“While your father loves you very much, he needs to understand that this is _your_ baby,” Mom explained to me, flashing me a smile as she went over how to swaddle Hailey, to keep her warm and to make her feel as if she was still in the womb. “Besides, I don’t mind not seeing my in-laws again, but that’s just me.”

I smirked, getting to my feet and pleased that the steroids the doctors had prescribed to me were already working wonders for my pain management. I’d already walked around my room some that morning, and had changed Hailey and rocked her in the chair provided by the considerate hospital staff. I was slightly annoyed that I would have to leave in a wheelchair, but was pleased that I would be able to hold Hailey whilst we left.

“I just don’t want them looking on Hailey like she’s less-than,” I said quietly, making my way over to my bed, where she lay in her carseat, and knew that I’d have to be very careful when lifting her up into my arms for the journey outside. “I mean, they acted fine towards me until the twins were born, and now Carla’s their fucking princess, and I’m…”

“Shhh, shhh,” Mom said, immediately pulling me into her arms. She rubbed my back then, and made sure to tuck my hair behind my ears as soon as she pulled back. “I know, sweetheart, I know. They haven’t been the same towards me either since I hooked up with Tommy, and even you listened to the real story…”

I went to cross my arms then, but quickly stopped myself; I was wearing a nursing bra, tank top, sweater, and a waterproof vest on top of that, along with a pair of blue jeans, thick socks, and my snow boots that day, my hair mostly hidden by a winter cap. The last thing I wanted was to reek of breast milk, which had inexplicably come in twelve hours before, just two and a half hours after Hailey’s birth. “Why do you think they won’t listen?” I asked.

My mother sighed. “I can’t speak for them, sweetheart,” she said, shrugging a little. “Is it infuriating that they won’t hear the truth? Absolutely. Do I wish they could be considerate for five seconds and listen to reason? Fuck yeah, I do. Have I argued with your father more than once on their treatment of me and you? I have, believe me. But does it do any good?” she asked, and spread her hands a bit.

“Jury still out?” I asked.

She smiled then, patting my cheek before stepping forward and kissing my forehead. “No, honey, the jury’s been back since the first opening argument, I’m afraid. The one thing that your father has a difficulty doing is standing up to his parents. Even when he thought that I was after Tommy as much as he was after me, and even when they implied it, he didn’t say or do anything to stop their claims.”

I bit my lip then, considering that. “Does it hurt you?”

“His inability to stand up to them? Absolutely.”

I sighed, shaking my head. “It’s almost as if he’s choosing sides,” I muttered to myself. “In any argument between a spouse and parents, you must choose your spouse. Just can’t see why Dad doesn’t seem to grasp that…”

“He’s a man, honey,” Mom said simply, and my eyes snapped to hers. “The sooner you understand their need to please their families, the better off you’ll be.”

. . .

_“Please tell me that your mom put you on the pill.”_

_I turn my gaze to Pops then, and saw just how much my relationship, or whatever it was, with Axel had impacted him. “Don’t worry,” I assured him. “I’m on it. Last thing I need is another pregnancy,” I muttered._

_Pops chuckled darkly. “He’s a son of a bitch, for doing that to you.”_

_I sighed. “Guess it just confirms my theory about not settling down eventually…”_

_“You can’t write off guys, or girls, entirely, kiddo,” Pops said, pushing himself off from the mantle and coming to sit beside me. “Who knows? Maybe you just haven’t found the right one who understands all your issues yet.”_

_I smirked, pushing myself further down the couch and putting my head in the space between his neck and his shoulder, as I always did. “You know what the worst part is?”_

_“Other than his stepdad verbally kicking his ass about it, and you having to hear it?” he asked me then, putting an arm around my shoulders as he rested his head on top of mine. “Swear to god, if he ever comes into South Side…”_

_“No,” I said, my voice firm as Pops began cracking his knuckles. “He’s a fucking cop, Pops. I mean, last thing I need is them taking my dad away. They’re all fucking assholes, I know it, and you know it, but we shouldn’t get a rise outta them. You’re one of the few people that understands me, Pops, and I can’t lose you. Not again.”_

_“Fine, fine, kiddo, I’ll play nice,” Pops said, turning his head slightly to kiss my forehead. “So, what was the worst thing?”_

_I sighed then, leaning in closer to Pops and inhaling his scent, which sent a wave of calm through me then as I got closer to him, wrapping my arms around him and just holding him for a moment, knowing I needed comfort above all things right now. “That I told the son of a bitch I loved him,” I said, my voice muffled by his stomach._

_“You did what?” Pops asked._

_I lifted my head, knowing I had to get him to hear me. “I told Axel I loved him,” I replied, “in the bathroom, after the security cameras caught us. Told him I loved him…”_

_“He say it back?”_

_I sighed. “He said it first.”_

_“Dammit,” he said, pulling me closer to him then and allowing his fingers to tangle into my hair then, likely unwilling to let me go. “Son of a bitch. I’ll fucking kill him…”_

_“You’re not killing anybody,” I told him, looking back up at him, fire matching fire as his eyes locked with mine._

_“But, kiddo, he hurt you…”_

_“I seriously don’t give a flying fuck,” I told him, and Pops looked shocked then. “So what if Axel hurt me? Ultimately, that was a full five minutes of my life; child’s play. You go off and commit double homicide, with your record? That’s life without parole, and I won’t stand for that. You’re not getting away from me that easily.”_

_“I can’t even knock him around a few times?” Pops asked._

_I rolled my eyes. “No. You’re not allowed to do anything for him.”_

_Pops fixed me with a look then. “This because you still have feelings for him?”_

_“For Axel?! Please,” I said, scoffing. “I’ll get over it. Last thing I need is the most important man in my life disappearing,” I said, and I leaned back down, so that I was lying in my very own spot of Pops’s, and he kissed my forehead again. “Remember, don’t lay a finger on the family. I mean it. Besides, I still need Cara to get me outta a prison sentence.”_

_“Gotta love you, kiddo. Keeping your priorities straight.”_

_I laughed aloud then, turning slightly so that I could look up at Pops. “Nothing would make me more Milkovich than a stint in the joint, but I don’t think that’s my scene. Sure, I could make all the women in there my bitch in no time, given what you’ve taught me, but I prefer a more subtle approach, less demanding.”_

_“Sure, kiddo,” Pops said, an amused smirk on his face. “Whatever you say.”_

. . .

I strapped Hailey into her carseat in the back on my car, kissing her forehead one last time as I moved up into the driver’s seat. Mom had agreed to let me drive her solo, but her car would be right behind mine, just to make sure I was cool throughout my first drive with my daughter. I checked and double-checked my mirrors before painstakingly pulling out of my hospital parking space, hoping to god I wouldn’t have to shout at stream of expletives towards other drivers who clearly didn’t know what the fuck they were doing on the road.

The roads were icy as I left the hospital parking lot, but I welcomed the crunch-crunch sound that I heard, which was music to my ears. Pops himself had put chains on my tires, and there was something about that little gesture that truly touched me. Not only did he want me safe, but he wanted his granddaughter safe as well. Such a thing warmed me then as I got onto the freeway, the most direct way towards home. I kept right on checking my mirrors, but was pleased to see that Hailey, surrounded by the pink blankets and the pink hat Mom had bought her, which was handmade and boasted a massive, pink stitched bow, was sound asleep in her carseat, completely unaware that her very own journey was just beginning.

I hopped out of my car as soon as I pulled it up outside the house, carefully swinging Hailey’s bag over my shoulder and getting to the back door, opening it slowly and quietly and gently easing Hailey into my arms. I smiled slightly as she made small, little noises in her sleep as I just stood there for a moment, inhaling her baby smell and marveling that this beautiful, small creature was actually mine. Snapping out of it a moment later, I carried her from the car and towards the gate, which I opened on my own and headed towards the porch, whereupon the front door opened for me, and I spotted Mom standing there on the threshold, arms at the ready to take Hailey’s bag.

“Hey, Mom,” I said, handing over the bag and keeping a good grip on Hailey as I stepped inside the house, smiling at my family, all gathered to see and meet my daughter. “Hello, everyone,” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking as I moved completely into the living room then, and was relieved when they all cleared a path for me. I eased myself onto the couch then, and Franny moved quickly to sit beside me, Ezra on her lap and Jay standing a couple of inches away, while Ezra looked down at Hailey.

“She’s pretty, Aunt Iana,” Ezra said softly.

“She is, isn’t she?” I asked then, gasping a little then as Hailey opened her eyes and proceeded to look all around her. “Pops,” I said then, and he immediately stood at attention, “you’re up. Come over here and hold your granddaughter.”

Pops grinned, and yet he hesitated for a moment as he stepped closer. “You sure?” he asked. “I mean, maybe your mom would rather…”

“Hailey is Iana’s daughter, Mick,” Mom said gently as she moved closer to the semi-circle that had formed around me, so that she stood in between Dad and Pops, while Uncle Ian stood on Pops’s other side, with Mandy and Uncle Lip. “Iana gets to decide who holds Hailey first, and we’re all going to be okay with that.”

I smiled gratefully up at my mother then, before my eyes drifted back to Pops’s. “Well, what do you think, Pops?” I asked him, gently and gradually lifting Hailey. “Do you want to properly greet your granddaughter? I know you were there when it all happened, when she came out and all, but then we fell asleep… I really want you to hold her,” I told him, and he lifted his eyes from Hailey and back up to me. “I want her to love her Papa, just like I love you. I want her to know that nothing is more important than family, and loyalty to your own. She’s a Milkovich,” I went on, smiling slowly up at him, “and I’m a Milkovich, and so are you, and Mandy, until she marries Uncle Lip,” I said quickly, and watched as Uncle Lip put an arm around a smiling Mandy’s shoulders. “So… Why don’t you hold her?” I asked him carefully.

“Yeah, I wanna hold her,” Pops said then, stepping the rest of the way towards me then and reaching out, carefully taking Hailey into his arms.

“Watch her head,” Mom said quickly.

“He’s got her,” I said, smiling at Mom, letting her know that I trusted Pops unconditionally with Hailey, and she should, too.

Pops supported Hailey exactly where he was supposed to, gently cradling her body in one hand, while supporting her head in the other. He looked completely at ease with my daughter, and his granddaughter, in his arms, with Uncle Ian proudly looking on. He moved across the room, to my side then, and sank onto the other side of the couch next to me, and carefully balanced Hailey on his knees, while he extended his index finger towards her, which Hailey promptly grabbed and continued staring at her.

“She’s so beautiful, Iana,” Pops said softly.

I nodded. “Of course she is. She’s a Milkovich… And a Gallagher,” I said, quickly grinning over at Mom, Uncle Ian, and Uncle Lip. “She’s my daughter. How could she not be beautiful? She’s just amazing,” I said, ogling my baby, never knowing if I’d be able to stop.

“Aunt Iana?” Ezra asked.

I turned and looked at him then. “Yeah, buddy?”

“Um… How old do you have to be to hold a baby?” he asked.

Franny sighed. “Honey, we talked about this,” she said.

“I know,” Ezra said quickly. “I’m just asking…”

I looked over at him then, beaming at Ezra’s doting eyes upon her, and knew then just how protective he would be. “You know, Ezra, if Franny puts you down to sit and surrounds you with every pillow in the living room, you can hold Hailey.”

Ezra’s dark eyes latched onto mine immediately then. “You mean that?” he asked.

I nodded. “Of course I do,” I replied, turning back to Pops. “You mind?”

Pops shook his head. “Course not,” he said, promptly handing Hailey back to me, as he, Franny, and Jay set to work in piling pillows around Ezra. “All snug in there, kid?”

“Yeah, Uncle Mickey!” Ezra said gleefully.

I grinned over at him before gently laying Hailey in his arms. “There you go,” I said as Ezra gently held her against him. “You all right?”

Ezra nodded. “Great,” he replied, leaning down and kissing Hailey’s head. “Love you, little cousin,” he said softly to her.

. . .

_I stepped off the elevator and walked towards Cara’s office, knowing that I had to at least make an effort to appear talkative that day. The notion that our last handful of sessions hadn’t been very beneficial towards my case was weighing heavily on me, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d have to see Dr. Norton to get my head examined. Shaking my head as I waved to her assistant, I was automatically waved into Cara’s office. Once I walked over the threshold and the door clicked behind me, however, I stopped dead in my tracks then, forcing the gasp not to escape my lips as I saw who sat at her desk._

_“I had an appointment with your sister, not with you,” I sneered, crossing my arms and doing my very best not to be angry._

_Axel sighed, pain in his dark, slate-colored eyes as he got to his feet. “Just give me one chance to explain myself here, Murphy…”_

_I scoffed, turning around. “In your dreams,” I said, and jiggled the handle, but found that the door was locked._

_“Only the new assistant, Charley, and I have keys right now,” Axel said softly._

_“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I said, pounding my fists on the door. “Charley, you miserable cunt! Let me out!”_

_“It won’t do any good, Iana,” Axel went on, his voice gentle, but it sounded like nails on a chalkboard to my ears. “I just want to talk.”_

_“By holding me hostage?!” I yelled, deliberately not looking at him._

_“I suppose one could see it that way, yeah.”_

_“Fucking hell,” I muttered, crossing my arms before I turned back to him. “I need to know where my lawyer is, thank you very much. I have a new case I want her to represent me with. Try this on for size, Axel—kidnapping and false imprisonment. You’d be looking at life in prison, and I’m not sure that orange is your color…”_

_“Cara has an emergency at home with Laurie this afternoon. We had lunch plans, her and I, and I guess she double-booked herself, seeing as I was in her personal calendar, and you in her work one,” Axel told me patiently._

_I rolled my eyes. “Right,” I muttered, dragging my hands across my face. “So, let me guess at your little game here. You’ll turn me loose once I agree to listen to you?”_

_Axel nodded. “That, or one of us has a heart attack,” he replied with a shrug. “You don’t even have to talk to me, Iana. Just listen. I just want five minutes. That’s all. And, once I’m done, I’ll toss you the key myself, and you never have to talk to or see me again.”_

_“I think I made that abundantly clear six weeks ago, when I ran out of your family party crying my head off, and you took off after me!” I shot back. “I didn’t give you the time of day then, so why the fuck should I now?!”_

_“Because you need to know all the facts, Iana. You deserve that much.”_

_“Oh, I deserve that much?! How kind of you,” I spat at him. “Did I deserve to hear the shit-ladling session your stepfather dished out? Nice guy, by the way…”_

_“Iana…”_

_“No, if you want me to hear you out, you have to hear me out, too, you son of a bitch!” I yelled at him then, crossing the room and slamming my palm onto Cara’s desk, as I’d done to Tommy when I’d visited at the prison. “I_ never _had repeated sex with anyone, much less like that. I’ve been raped, assaulted, and had casual sex, but I’d never made love in my life, until you came along,” I told him, willing for my voice not to break. “And I know that you know as well as I do that it didn’t start off that way. We just fucked to fuck, so that we could get the crazy-hot, instant chemistry that we felt for each other out of our systems. I wish it could’ve been like that; it would’ve been easier to deal with, if I hadn’t fallen for you,” I told him, hating that the hot tears sprang to my eyes then. “I didn’t lie to you that day, even though I yelled at you that I had, but it was only because I couldn’t…”_

_“I know, Iana, I know,” Axel said, reaching for me then._

_“No, you don’t!” I shot back then, pulling back and evading his grasp. “You don’t know shit, and I’ll tell you why! You’re a fucking monster, incapable of having true feelings! You may be South Side like me, Axel, but you’re also a fucking asshole! We’re not two sides of the same coin; we don’t have anything in common, because even though I’ve made mistakes, I’m taking the steps to rectify then. You? You’re a sorry sack of shit who is incapable of sincerity!”_

_“You think I’m incapable of sincerity?! Fine,” Axel said, narrowing his eyes at me as he came around Cara’s desk then, keeping his eyes fully trained onto me then. “But just so you know, Iana, I was lying through my teeth when I was talking to Humphrey…”_

_I rolled my eyes. “Sure you were…”_

_“Hey,” he said then, grabbing ahold of my arm then to keep me close to him, so as to ensure that I’d listen. “I lied to him to fucking protect you. And you know why? Because I told the truth in the bathroom, Iana. I do fucking love you, and the last thing I wanted was for Humphrey to go after you and ruin you, like he ruined Cara’s and my mother. She was drunk that day. I know you saw her with her glass of sherry…”_

_I sighed. “Yeah, I noticed. My grandfather, my mother, and my uncle are alcoholics, too. I get it, Axel, really…”_

_“You may understand it, but you don’t know the full story,” Axel said heatedly then, and my eyes snapped to his. “The only reason why Humphrey married my mother…”_

_“It was as a favor,” I said quickly. “I know this. Old friends of the family and all that…”_

_“That was a bullshit story, and I’m sorry it was fed to you,” Axel said then, and I could see the pain and torture behind his eyes._

_“Axel…” I whispered._

_“The reason why Humphrey married my mom was because of me,” he said then, and I felt my mouth drop open then as his eyes misted over, before they filled completely with tears._

_“No…” I whispered._

_“That’s why I let you see Matthews,” he said then, dropping my arm as I staggered backwards in shock and fright. “That’s why. Because I knew how it felt to be dominated and controlled by a man who you were supposed to trust. And you were right,” he said then, trying hard to keep his voice in line then. “I was just using you, at first, like you were using me. But it wasn’t always like that between us, Iana. It was supposed to be like that, but it didn’t stay like that. It couldn’t stay like that, because all I wanted to do when I saw you was talk to you, and then, once we talked, and I knew you wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss you, everything changed. And it just changed more the more we got to know each other, even though it was never our intention to keep this up, or to even try being together…”_

_“You shot that in the face, Axel…”_

_“I know I did, I know I fucked up,” Axel said, and I could taste his scent, due to his closeness to me, and I inhaled sharply then. “But I couldn’t let Humphrey hurt you, like he hurt me. He feeds off insecurity, and you’re too good, too pure, for him to pass up. I had to make him think you were a whore, were nothing, because then his scent would be thrown off the trail…”_

_“You said your mom drank…”_

_Axel nodded. “Yeah. She does.”_

_“Does she know?” I asked him then, my voice hard. “Does she know what Humphrey did, and continues, to do to you? Does she drink to forget?”_

_Axel leaned back against Cara’s desk. “I think you already know the answer to that one, Iana, as disturbing and disgusting it may be…”_

_“Fuck…” I whispered. “I’m so sorry…”_

_He shrugged. “It is what it is. I can deal…”_

_I shook my head then, before I crossed towards him and threw my arms around him then, my lips drawn to his like a magnet. It was not difficult for his to part, and once we were kissing, there was no stopping us from tasting each other, our hands roaming and exploring each other like there was no tomorrow… And yet, it was then that a light went off in my mind then, and I pulled back and away from him then._

_“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice breaking._

_“Iana, really, it’s okay…”_

_I shook my head. “No, it’s not. None of this is okay,” I said, my voice breaking. “I’m sorry that Humphrey hurt you, and I think you could use some help, but…” I drew myself up to my full height then and allowed myself to stare at him fully. “But I can’t be the one to be there for you right now. I’m sorry, but I can’t. I’m fourteen-years-old, a sophomore in high school, and you’re twenty-seven… You’re a grown man, Axel, with his own place, his own job, and his own life. I’m busy fighting for my own here, and until we have our priorities straightened out, I think it would be best to keep our distance.”_

_Axel nodded. “I can respect that. I’m sorry if I put you in an awkward position.”_

_I shook my head at him again. “You didn’t,” I assured him. “I know myself a little bit better now, and we can move on from here as better people.”_

_“I’ll see you at the finish line, maybe,” he said, a small smile playing at his mouth._

_I nodded. “Sounds good,” I replied, turning around and walking towards the door._

_“Iana. Wait,” he said, and, when I turned and looked over my shoulder, he tossed the key to me, which I caught. “Be careful out there.”_

_I gripped the key in my hand. “You, too,” I replied, and unlocked the door, before I walked through it, depositing the key on Charley’s desk, feeling as if I was on the verge of a new chapter as I stepped towards the elevators._

. . .

“You sure you don’t mind that Penny’s coming to Ezra’s big day today?” I asked Franny as we readied the backyard at my parent’s house for Ezra’s fourth birthday.

“Of course not. She’s your other best friend, and you keep raving about her. Saying ‘hi’ over text is really getting old,” she said with a smirk, before locking her eyes onto me. “She is bringing Ezra a gift, right?”

“Something from the kid’s collection of her fashion line,” I said, and Franny rolled her blue eyes in annoyance, “plus some boy thing that Lacey picked out. Apparently, Desmond helped her with that part.”

“Lacey coming today?”

I nodded, the early spring air still slightly nippy, but we’d specifically put in the invitations to wear a sweater, and the forecast hadn’t called for rain, thank goodness. “Of course. She and Penny are due to celebrate their three-month anniversary a week from today. You would think they’d be tired of each other, but apparently not…”

Franny unfolded herself then, from where she’d been bent over, getting some grass stains off one of the chairs my father had procured for the party. “How’s the separation anxiety coming?”

I rolled my eyes, checking my phone and seeing that we had another two hours before the party was to begin, and with Mom and Aunt Debbie making the food in the kitchen, it looked like it was all going according to plan. “Fine,” I replied. “You think Pops and Uncle Ian can handle Hailey _and_ Ezra?” I asked, trying and failing to look around the house to see across the street to where my daughter was. “I mean…”

“Iana,” Franny said, coming towards me then and placing her hands on my shoulders. “What did you and I talk about yesterday, and this morning, and just an hour ago?”

I sighed. “That Hailey is almost two months old, that Pops can read the instructions I provided for him, that I packed her baby bag with plenty of spare outfits and extra diapers and shit-ton of breast milk, and I’m literally just across the street in case of an emergency,” I replied, my tone annoyed.

“That’s right,” Franny said, squeezing my shoulders before walking away from me. “Come on and relax for two minutes, will ya? Your own birthday is just around the corner, you know. In less than two months, you’ll be seventeen.”

“Whoop-di-fucking-do,” I said, quickly getting my phone out of my pocket again, to see if Pops had texted me about Hailey.

Franny came forward then and snatched my phone from me. “And I’ll be taking that.”

“Hey!” I cried out, moving after her. “That’s not funny! I need that back!”

Franny turned to face me then, holding the phone just out of my reach. “Do you have your ringer on, Iana?”

I nodded. “Yeah, but…”

“And do you have Mickey’s number set to a specific ring?”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“And is there a signal the two of you have in case of an emergency?”

“Of course we do, but…”

“There, we’ve solved the mystery,” she said, putting the phone into her pocket. “Now, we’ve established that your ringer is in fact on, and that Mick’ll let us know if there’s something up with Hailey. Now you and I have a lot of work to do, Iana, and you can’t allow yourself to be so clingy with Hailey…”

“She’s not even twelve weeks old, Franny!” I cried out, moving after her again. “I can’t help but be clingy—she’s my baby—”

“Yeah, we all know that,” Franny said, moving onto another chair. “But you’ve told me more than once that you trust Mickey with your life.”

“He’s my pops,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “Your point being?”

“Which begs the question…”

“What question?”

“Do you trust Mickey with Hailey’s life?”

I crossed my arms. “I trust me first…”

“Careful,” Franny said, reaching out then and yanking my arms down. “I know you have a fondness for that hoodie, and breast milk can be a bitch to wash out.”

I sighed. “Right, sorry,” I replied. “But still, I trust me first with Hailey…”

“Of course you do—you’re her mother,” Franny replied patiently, going back to fixing the chairs while I moved back to the hedges, picking up the heavy clippers I’d thrown down a couple of minutes prior. “But do you trust Mickey with Hailey?”

I didn’t even need to hesitate. “Of course I do,” I replied, smiling nervously at Franny. “I don’t know… I guess I just worry…”

“It’s natural to worry, Iana,” Franny said, shooting me a smile. “You’re her mother.”

I bit my lip. “You stop worrying for Ezra yet?”

“Hell no,” Franny said, scoffing. “He’s a boy. You always worry about the boys. Last thing I want is him coming home, telling me he got some girl pregnant…”

“Jesus. I can’t even imagine Hailey ever…”

“You will,” Franny said, and my eyes locked to hers again. “And believe me, it’ll scare the shit outta you. But you’ll get over it,” she told me with a smile, “just like all parents get over the little things in life.”

“And the big things?” I asked.

She smiled. “Some good, some bad. It’s a roll of the dice, really…”

I sighed, turning back to the hedge then and opening up the clippers. “Guess we’ve just gotta wait and see,” I said softly, more for my sake than for hers.


	11. Holidays, Birthdays, and Family Matters

I wasn’t pleased by the invitation to Grandpa Hugo and Grandma Allie’s Easter brunch, but also knew that, as part of my regimen to play nice and act accordingly and appropriate as a new mother, that I should go along with my family. However, I was pleased to be given permission to drive both Hailey and myself, and I knew that that meant that, if at any time I wanted to leave with my daughter, I was permitted to do so. Hailey, at nearly three months old, was a vision in the new pink dress with white lace that my mother had picked out for her, and was even wearing white lacey socks and white buckled Mary Jane shoes. I myself wore a white pantsuit, and was careful to keep dribble guards on me at all times to ensure that Hailey didn’t make a mess of herself, or of me, for I knew that my grandparents demanded perfection, and I was all too ready to give it to them.

Hailey and I left right on schedule, driving just behind my parents towards the freeway, which really was the most direct route to most places. I peeked in my rear-view mirror at my daughter, and my heart automatically warmed at what I saw. Hailey was chewing on the set of rainbow plastic keys that my mother had bought her, her little gums working at the red key, which was proving to be a favorite. I switched my gaze back to the road then, hearing little coos from the backseat, and pleased my daughter seemed all too happy to ride in the back of the car, chewing happily on her keys and amusing herself.

“We’re on the freeway now, sweetheart,” I told her, carefully keeping my voice light, despite my reservations about going to Grandpa Hugo and Grandma Allie’s that day. “You remember when we drove on the freeway before, when I brought us home from the hospital? Well, we’re not going there today, baby,” I assured her, although I wasn’t sure if it was a better alternative or not, given where we were going. “Today, you’re going to meet Grandpa Hugo and Grandma Allie, your great-grandparents. I know that nobody can compare to Grandma Murphy and Grandpa Nicholas, or Papa Mickey or Great-Uncle Ian, but you’ll see… Who knows? Maybe we’ll be in for a surprise today…”

I continued chatting to Hailey, making my daughter feel at ease as much as possible, knowing that going to a new place would be nerve-wracking for anyone, but feeling better that I would be with her the entire time. I watched as my father’s car signaled that they were getting off at the next exit, and I quickly moved into the lane behind him to keep up. Once off the freeway and onto the streets lined with trees, the stretches of sidewalk were filled with historical apartment buildings, which made way into houses as we arrived in the upscale suburban area that my grandparents’ estate was. As we got deeper and deeper into it, the houses lots grew massive and, quite soon, they morphed from standard houses and into the mansions and, quite soon, we drove onto the cul de sac where they lived where, at the end of it, the house was. I remembered then, as we pulled up into the huge driveway, coming there when I was a little girl, back when Mom and Dad were still dating, and Grandma Allie and Grandpa Hugo couldn’t find a thing about me or my mother to complain about.

I parked beside Dad’s car, shutting off my engine and immediately exiting my vehicle, whereupon I fetched Hailey promptly from the back, pressing my lips to her forehead as I held her close, inhaling that sweet baby smell that always seemed to calm me down. I smiled at my mother as she approached me then, adjusting Hailey’s Easter bonnet and my own white lace poncho that I wore over my pantsuit as I managed to lock my car and follow Dad, Clayton, Fionn, and Charlie up to the house, while Carla and Mom stayed behind with me, mostly to make sure that Hailey was all right as we followed the men in our family.

“What do you think Grandma Allie’s gonna say?” Carla whispered.

My mother snorted. “God only knows,” she muttered.

“It’s not gonna be good, whatever it is,” I told my little sister, before I playfully stuck my tongue out at her, and was quickly rewarded with the same expression back.

“Now, girls,” Mom reprimanded gently as we completed the walk through the small front garden and up the wide porch steps, “best behavior, remember.”

“Yeah, Mom, we know,” Carla and I said in unison as Dad rang the doorbell, which seriously sounded like the chiming of some old-timey grandfather clock.

The front door opened immediately thereafter then, and Grandma Allie smiled at each of us in turn, although my smile, as always, was fleeting. There was hardly any change to her, I noticed then as we were permitted to step inside the house, other than the subtle wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, from laughing far too much over the years. She ushered us quickly onto the veranda across the garden, only used for special occasions, which was kept warm much like a greenhouse was, and was mostly enclosed, apart from French doors on either side, which also boasted a set of six stairs beneath both of them. Inside the veranda was a large round table, and there were large windows all around the cylindrical building, each with massive white pillars on each side of the frames of glass.

Seated at the head of the table, as always, was Grandpa Hugo, who immediately got to his feet as Grandma Allie and Dad led the way inside the please, with Clayton, Fionn, Carla, and Charlie almost immediately rushing forward to greet him. They’d always had a soft spot for Grandpa Hugo; granted, they loved Grandma Allie very much, but Grandpa Hugo would often slip them twenty-dollar bills whenever nobody was looking. I remembered such a time when that was me, seated proudly on my grandfather’s knee, listening to stories of his childhood and the lavish lifestyle he was always accustomed to. And yet, as I watched him embracing my four younger siblings, I resolved to keep my word and smile, but also stood by my mother’s side, for the two of us were a united force against this couple who merely put up with us.

“So, where’s the newest Blomqvist?” Grandpa Hugo suddenly asked then, his eyes suddenly latching onto me, as he positioned his reading glasses from around his neck and onto the bridge of his news. “Where’s the new recruit?”

“Hugo, Nicholas and I mentioned this already,” Mom said calmly then as Grandpa Hugo came over to look down at Hailey, and my arms automatically wound more tightly around her, “Iana has decided to take Mickey’s last name, which is her right, as he is her biological father, and, as such, Hailey has the same surname as she does.”

Grandpa Hugo narrowed his eyes briefly at Mom then, and I felt my hackles threatening to rise as he did so, before he peered openly at Hailey, who stared at him, transfixed, a wary expression on her face, for it was likely that she detected my anxiety. “Hailey?” he barked then, and I watched then as my daughter’s lower lip trembled at the close proximity of the stranger, plus the apparent anger in his tone. “What kind of a name is that?”

I did my best not to bristle at the notion that he was not only insulting my daughter and her name, but me as well, for choosing it. “It’s the name I chose for her, Grandpa,” I replied levelly to him, and rose my chin up then. “It’s short for Mikhaila.”

“Mikhaila?” he sneered then, and I gritted my teeth. “For that father of yours? His name is short for something, isn’t it?” he demanded.

“It’s short for Mikhailo, yeah,” I said, shooting daggers at him as he continued to negatively scrutinize my daughter. “Her full name is Mikhaila Nichole Milkovich. I named her after _both_ of my fathers,” I said then, unknowing how to get approval with him anymore.

“Should’ve called her Nichole instead,” Grandpa Hugo barked as he moved back towards the table, apparently deciding when the conversation was over. “My son’s done more for you better than that criminal father of yours, and don’t you forget that!” he said, wagging a finger at me then, almost as if I was a small child.

“Well,” Grandma Allie said then, her voice uneasy, “shall we carve the chicken?”

. . .

_I could barely breathe then as I ran like the wind out of that godforsaken living room, and through the press of people. My heart was hammering in my throat as I walked over towards the front door and, with trembling hands, managed to yank it open and slam it behind me. As quickly as I could, I ran as quickly as I could, the tears blinding my vision with every step I could. I could vaguely hear a door opening from behind me then, but I wouldn’t let my thoughts go there as I kept running, wondering where the closest place was that I could get on the L and get back to my own neighborhood, where I belonged._

_“Iana!” came a shout then from down the block._

_I ignored the voice as best I could, the tears streaming down my face as I continued running down the block, my breath catching in my throat a moment later when I felt pressure on my arm then, wanting more than anything to wretch my arm away from him. “Take your goddamn hands off of me!” I yelled, turning around and facing Axel._

_Axel dropped my arm immediately, almost as if I’d burned him, and merely stared down at me for a moment, hesitating before he spoke. “Iana…”_

_“No,” I said, my voice harsh and broken as I stood there. “What the fuck is the matter with you that you would go so far as to fucking lie to me?!”_

_Axel dragged a hand over his face. “Iana, you don’t understand…”_

_“Oh, I understand, you pathetic son of a bitch!” I shot back at him. “Couldn’t stand up to daddy, huh? And all because he fucking pays your rent, doesn’t he?”_

_Axel gritted his teeth then. “No, he doesn’t pay my fucking rent…”_

_“Oh, my mistake!” I cried out then, throwing my hands up in the air. “Christ, what else could he possibly do? Oh, let me guess,” I went on, interrupting any attempts Axel had to get a word in edgewise, “you’ve done this before. With your sister’s clients, I mean. Children, like me.”_

_“Iana, I already told you, I haven’t done this…”_

_“Yeah, sure you told me,” I said, my tone mocking. “You fucking told me a lot of things. Like in the bathroom, just moments before your little chit-chat with Humphrey,” I went on, my voice scathing. “Like, you wanting me to be your girlfriend. Or, how about this—you telling me that you fucking loved me. This day has just been a gold mine of lies—just like our relationship, huh, Axel?” I asked him then, my voice breaking._

_“I haven’t lied to you, Iana…”_

_I shook my head at him, backing away from him. “You say that now, but how the fuck do I know if it’s true or not?” I asked him, my voice raw from my sobbing. “How am I supposed to believe you, or trust you? And what about Cara?” I asked him._

_“What_ about _Cara?”_

_“How the hell am I supposed to trust her, when her own brother, the guy I’ve been fucking for the past two months, has been fucking lying to me?” I demanded of him then. Without waiting for an answer, I shook my head at him, like he was the lowest of the low, before I turned on my heel and just kept running._

. . .

I picked at my chicken, forcing myself to chew it and swallow as much as possible; last thing I needed was the stress eating away at my entire breast milk reserves. I was somewhat surprised that a highchair had been found for Hailey, and she sat quietly at the table beside me, while I noticed Grandpa Hugo giving her and me scaling looks, while Grandma Allie merely gave the two of us cursory glances. I bit my tongue and remained silent, while my mother was barely acknowledged at all, and I was virtually ignored, audibly, at the very least, by what was once an integral part of my family.

It came as a relief about fifteen minutes later, about an hour into the meal and conversation, when Hailey suddenly became fussy. Immediately, I got the tray of the highchair up and gathered her in my arms and put her bag over my shoulder, fully prepared to head out to my car and feed her if need be. As I got to my feet, quietly excusing myself, it was Grandma Allie’s voice going into my ears that stopped me.

“Go ahead and go to the bedroom you slept in as a child, darling,” she said then, and I turned and looked over my shoulder.

“You sure?” I asked, my eyes sliding over to Grandpa Hugo, who was deep in conversation with Clayton and Fionn.

“Go ahead, sweetie,” Grandma Allie assured me.

I shrugged then, and nodded my head, bouncing Hailey gently in my arms to keep her calm in front of them. “Thanks,” I replied, opening the French doors with my momentary free hand and went down the steps again.

I went through the French doors to the parlor of the house, making my way towards the front door and up the staircase. The first landing led to the children’s bedrooms, while the next landing brought you up to the top floor, where my grandparents’ respective studies were, along with their grand master suite. I took the right onto that first landing and went down the hallway, bouncing a now-mewling Hailey in my arms as I neared the correct door. Getting inside, I shut it behind me and walked towards the full-sized bed, sitting down upon it and digging into Hailey’s bag, and managed to quickly find a cloth to put over my shoulder, as I laid her down on the bed for a moment to unbutton the blazer and then yank down the camisole and open up my nursing bra to get at my breasts.

I took Hailey into my arms again and, once she saw what was happening, latched on immediately to my nipple, and I felt relief as the strain inside my breast died down considerably. I stroked Hailey’s head then, leaning down and kissing her as she ate, feeling complete with her in my arms, and the satisfying feeling that I wasn’t alone in the us vs. them argument helped considerably. Of course, Mom was a part of it, too, and yet they always seemed to forget that I existed as well, but they took the time to torment me however possible.

I swallowed then and, after about twenty minutes, Hailey’s eyes grew heavy and her mouth finally went slack around my breast. I lifted her up against me then, running my hand in little circles upon her back, and patted it slowly, so as to get the necessary burp she needed. It was a long time coming, but I certainly didn’t mind; I could easily make something else to eat at home, and there was no reason why I should have to prolong either of our sufferings. When my daughter finally expelled gas from her mouth, I quickly checked to make sure that her diaper was clean, and was relieved when it wasn’t.

I lay her out on the bed, one of her blankets underneath her, and cleaned her up quickly, before taking her into the en suite bathroom and washing my hands. Finally, I was able to pick her up again and hold her close, momentary tears springing to my eyes as I considered this division of what was my family. I shook my head then as I stared into my reflection, knowing that things deserved to be different, if not for me, than for her, and wondered what could make people despise their grandchildren so much. And that hatred seemed to immediately pass onto Hailey, and I felt so badly that my daughter had to put up with it, even for brief periods, which was the most unfair thing I could imagine.

I left the bathroom soon thereafter, making my way out into the hallway from the bedroom and over towards the staircase. I went down it carefully, keeping a good grip on Hailey, and when I came to the base of the stairs, decided it was best to go out into the veranda and say goodbye. I’d only been there with my daughter for a little over an hour, but I officially couldn’t take the disapproval anymore from my grandparents, as if they thought they got a vote. They literally threw me to the wolves ages ago, taking the words of a five-year-old seriously; now, they held onto Clayton, Fionn, Carla, and Charlie for dear life, likely thinking I’d turn them against them, too, or would simply disappear with them.

I moved towards the hallway then, planning on walking through the parlor and back out to the veranda, but something stopped me. I stood there in the hallway then, my heart hammering in my chest as Hailey nuzzled closer to me, the only thing that seemed to keep my calm. The words that I heard spoken in those moments are ones that I would never forget, and two-thirds that I would never permit myself to forgive.

“We just think she acted rash,” came Grandma Allie’s voice; it was pleading, like it always was, whenever she wanted to get her point across. Maybe it was good for the courtroom, but not in a family dynamic, especially when the person you were talking to was your grown son. “Don’t you agree that it wasn’t in her best interests?”

“Mom, really. Iana’s young, sure, but she’s wise beyond her years…”

“Wise?” Grandpa Hugo snorted. “If she was wise, she would’ve used protection. If she was wiser, she wouldn’t be opening her legs at all.”

“Dad, don’t speak about her that way.”

“Why not, son? She’s stripped away the last of her allegiance to the family. Always preferring to be around her real father and that uncle of hers…”

“Mickey and Ian. They have names, you know…”

“He knows that, sweetheart, he does,” Grandma Allie assured him.

“And she hasn’t stripped away allegiance to anyone, Dad! For god sakes, she just wanted to take Mickey’s last name. Sure, Murphy and I would’ve appreciated a heads-up, but it was her choice to make, and we don’t fault her for it in any way.”

“Can’t you just see what we see, son?” Grandpa Hugo asked. “She’s the daughter of that crazy wife of yours and a common criminal.”

“Murphy is not crazy, Dad, and I won’t hear of you talking to her that way!”

“That’s right, Hugo. We don’t say ‘crazy’. It’s not the fucking Civil War,” Grandma Allie told her husband gently. “Murphy is mentally ill…”

“Just like that daughter of hers!” Grandpa Hugo shot back. “Son, we think it would be best if you washed your hands entirely of it.”

“Excuse me?!”

“He means Murphy, Iana, and the baby,” Grandma Allie said softly.

“What about my other children?”

“Oh, they’re all right. Brilliant, even,” Grandpa Hugo said, chuckling. “They look like Blomqvists, all of them, and we’re very proud of them, aren’t we, honey?”

“So proud,” Grandma Allie assured him.

“Murphy, Iana, and Hailey are just as much my family as the rest of them…”

“We hear you’re supporting Iana and the baby,” Grandpa Hugo said, tutting slightly. “We don’t think that’s a very good idea…”

“What are you saying?!”

“She’s not your daughter, honey, and she’s made it abundantly clear that she doesn’t want to be your daughter by her constant rejection of you,” Grandma Allie said. “We merely suggest that you make good on filing for divorce, like you tried to do when Murphy was shaking up with that Tommy person, and take the twins, plus Carla and Charlie, and come back home where you really belong…”

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this right now…”

“It’s for the best, son,” Grandpa Hugo assured him.

I inhaled then, fully prepared to march around the corner and demand answers, especially about this rumor of divorce. How could they? People who had known me from the time I was a baby, essentially branding me an outlier from the family?! It was enough to imply it; it was enough to act like it; it was a whole other thing to flat-out say it. Now that my fears were confirmed, I knew something needed to be said, and it had to be said now, before…

“I think it’s despicable what you’re insinuating,” Dad said then, and I stopped in my tracks, my mouth falling open. “Murphy is my wife, and the love of my life. I would never leave her side and do you know why? She told me to run, to be safe. The only reason why I left her here was so that she could keep the kids safe, too. Sure, she refused to come with me, but it was for the sake of our children. Notice how I don’t just say ‘the twins’ when I talk about them. That’s because Iana is my child, too! And Hailey is my granddaughter! I hate how you’ve been treating Murphy and Iana for years, when they’ve done nothing to you! Do you know what Murphy had to do, in order to get my name cleared?!”

“Shack up with Tommy and spread her legs like a slut…”

I heard a crack of something then, followed by Grandma Allie’s gasp. “That’s a lie! She worked undercover with Mason to clear my name and to expose Tommy for who he really was—a fucking dirty cop!”

“Nicholas, we didn’t…”

“No, I’m talking now!” Dad shouted. “She endured over two years of beatings, rapes, and near-death experiences, just to get my name cleared! And even when she found me out in that desert, she still loved me, wanted me, but expected nothing. She told me that we were still married, sure, but told me she would sign the goddamn papers, if that’s what I wanted. We came to the decision together to reform our family, because we love each other!”

“Son, you don’t…”

“Still talking!” Dad screamed. “You don’t know Iana like I know Iana. Despite what it says on her birth certificate, I was there, too. She’s just as much my daughter as she is Murphy’s, Mickey’s, or Ian’s. We shared the load, and I’m fucking grateful for it. Mickey may understand Iana in ways I never will, but Iana knows that I’ll be in her corner no matter what, because I’m her father, too, and that’ll never change.”

“It won’t,” I said then, and it was in that moment that I found myself standing in the doorway of Grandpa Hugo and Grandma Allie’s kitchen. “It won’t change, Dad.”

“Iana…”

“Dad, it’s fine,” I said, determined to keep my voice strong as I handed Hailey over to him, and turned to face my grandparents head-on. “You don’t know the shit I went through, either—it wasn’t all sunshine and roses in my childhood. After Dad left, it was a fucking miserable few years. Tommy threw us out of Mom’s house, and I became Clayton and Fionn’s mother. Their fucking mother, when I was only five-years-old. And you think we had it easy over at Uncle Ian’s house? Well, think again. Up all night, comforting them in the darkness of our borrowed bedroom, which we all shared, by the way. Learning to cook, clean, do laundry, make lunches, and forge signatures to make sure they got every little thing they needed. All at five-years-old. It wasn’t even the worst part,” I spat at both of their shocked expressions, “the worst part out of all of this was Tommy. Sure, he beat my mother and raped her, plus tried to kill her on numerous occasions, but he didn’t stop there. Didn’t stop him from going after me, even after Mom had us sent across the street to Uncle Ian’s place. Easy access that way, you know? He… He…” I felt my voice breaking then as the hot tears streamed down my face then, and I began to breathe heavily, my eyes widening as I finally allowed myself to remember…

_It is the creak on the stairs that sends me to the edge, and I make sure that Clayton and Fionn are all tucked up in their beds before I put my feet on the floor. Carefully, even though I know that Uncle Ian is working a double, I know that my brothers are very light sleepers, and I have to do this quickly. I open the door and step through the smallest crack that I can fit through, before going out into the hallway and towards the stairs._

_I climb down then quickly, spotting Tommy in the living room waiting for me, just like he always is, and likely always will be. I continue down the stairs and make my way over to him, keeping my eyes lowered. He doesn’t like it when I stare at him, and the lump rises in my throat as I wait for him to tell me what he wants._

_“Down,” he says, and flattens his hand for me._

_When I drop to my knees, however, he grows impatient and grabs ahold of me by my thin and weak shoulders. I know better than to cry out; I know better than to show fear; I know better than to allow tears to escape my eyes. I keep quiet then, my anxiety increasing twofold as he lays me down on my back, and I raise my eyes to look at the ceiling._

_“Stay,” he orders._

_I don’t scream or protest when he yanks down my pajama bottoms, knowing that it would be no use to do so. I can hear him unzip his pants, and I remain still, gripping onto the old carpet in an effort to distract myself for what I’ve known has been coming for the longest time. The hair makes my palms itch, but it is a welcoming itch, as I suddenly stiffen with pain, and Tommy puts a hand over my mouth to prevent my yelp from escaping my lips._

_“Keep quiet,” he tells me then, his breath hot on my neck. “Remember,” he continues, the cold metal of the barrel of his gun making contact with my head, “I blow your brothers brains out, then your uncle, then your mom, and then you. Got it?”_

_I know better than to answer. I just jerk my head up and down, and attempt to force myself not to cry in front of him. The crying can come later, when I’m waiting for the next time._

“No…” I whispered then, the memory suddenly overtaking my mind then as I feel the scream bubbling forth from within me. “He… No…”

“Iana?”

I feel my knees buckle then at the sound of my mother’s voice from behind me. “Dad… Take Hailey out of the room,” I ordered then, and I heard his feet retreating, while my grandparents continued to stare at me. My knees buckled completely then, and I felt the scream leaving my lips before I could call it back, and I covered my entire face with my hands, as my mother caught me, holding onto me, for now, after all this time, she was in a position to protect me, when before she was not.

I was pleased that I wasn’t required to go to any functions at Grandpa Hugo’s and Grandma Allie’s anytime soon, and vowed not to do so for a very long time. I spent the rest of the month of April getting used to motherhood, and bonding with Hailey whenever possible. When May arrived, and with my birthday just a few weeks away, I was quite content to plan a family dinner at my parent’s house.

“Anyone you want to invite, sweetheart?” Mom asked.

I leaned back on the couch, Hailey in my lap as my mother carefully went over the accounts for the diner. “Pops and Uncle Ian, Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy, Aunt Debbie, Franny, Ezra, Jay, Liam, Penny and Lacey, and Rose, I guess,” I replied with a shrug, and my mother looked up at me. “Be nice,” I said. “Liam came to see me after Hailey was born, and I’ve been to see Penny several times when her mom or Liam have been there…”

She raised an eyebrow. “He keeping his hands to himself?”

I smirked. “He holds Hailey,” I reply.

She rolled her eyes. “I meant with you, sweetie.”

I laughed. “Yeah,” I replied. “Don’t worry.”

“Glad to see you’re acknowledging Mandy as your aunt now, sweetheart,” Mom put in with a smile before going back to the paperwork.

We agreed to hold my birthday four days after the day itself, as it would be a Saturday that day and everyone would have the energy to party, Gallagher-style. I was perfectly happy to share my guest-of-honor spot with Hailey, and as we milled through the crowd, each of us wearing a tiara as sportsmanship, I got the chance to greet everyone in turn.

“Seventeen,” Liam joked. “One more year.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, right, Kennedy. We agreed. That ship has sailed.”

“Hey, let me have a little fun with the birthday girl,” he joked again, kissing me on the cheek before looking down at Hailey. “She really is beautiful…”

“Don’t you be getting any ideas,” I shot back playfully, shoving his shoulder as I continued milling through the party.

“Hey, birthday bestie!” Penny said, wrapping her arms around me then and holding me against her for a moment, careful not to smash Hailey.

“Hey, you two,” I said, looking at her and Lacey as soon as Penny had pulled back from me. “So, how is everything with you guys?”

“Amazing,” Lacey said, kissing Penny, who giggled immediately thereafter. “Five months in eleven days. Still can’t believe it.”

“Honeymoon phase, Lacey Bug,” Penny said with a grin.

“Oh, why thank you, Penny Thought,” Lacey shot back with a smile. “But, anyway, I hope you enjoy our gift!”

“A weekend of babysitting for Hailey and the opportunity to spend the night at your suite in the apartment where my aunt and uncle live,” I said with a smile.

“And it doesn’t expire!” Penny said quickly. “So, if you want to wait until Hailey’s a little older, maybe…”

“Or want to get to know us a little better first. You know where to find us,” Lacey told me with a sweet smile. “We know you’ll want it eventually.”

“I think I just may take you up on it,” I said, giving them both a small wave before I continued on through the party. “Aunt Mandy!” I said, and was immediately cut off when she pulled me into the backyard, where we were alone. “Jesus, careful,” I said, keeping on good grip on Hailey, who was nearly four-months-old, but still couldn’t be tampered with.

“Sorry, sorry,” Aunt Mandy said. “Still gotta get used to the whole aunt thing…”

“You’ll have to, if you’re marrying Uncle Lip.”

Aunt Mandy smiled. “That,” she said. “I actually had a question for you, Iana, about the upcoming wedding…”

I nodded, leaning down and kissing Hailey’s forehead to keep her calm. “Shoot.”

“Well, you got me and Lip back together, so I was hoping that you’d be willing to be my Maid of Honor, and that Hailey could be my flower girl,” she said, smiling.

I grinned back at her. “Yeah, we will!” I cried out then, hugging her. “Oh, that’s so amazing! Do you know when it’ll be?”

Aunt Mandy nodded. “Yeah, we’ve cleared it with your mom. Lip and I are getting married in eighteen days!”

I blinked. “Eighteen days?”

She nodded again. “Yeah. We’re getting married at Patsy’s. Your mom arranged to close it early and we’re gonna party it up there, Gallagher-style.”

I shook my head then, confused. “Why so quick?” I asked her. “You just so in love that you want to be Mrs. Phillip Gallagher so fast?”

She smiled. “I found the perfect wedding dress, and I just want to be able to fit into it, and god knows I won’t be able to much longer…”

“Won’t be able…?” I raised my eyebrows then, shaking my head. “Are you…?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Three months as of earlier this week. We wanted to get married before I popped, so it doesn’t look like a shotgun wedding in the pictures,” she joked.

“Oh, my god!” I cried out then, hugging her again. “I’m so happy for you!”

“So are we,” she said with a smile. “Lip could just go on for another ten years, but my clock was running out. It might be our only chance, so we’ve gotta make it count.”

I smiled at her, pulling back completely then. “Well, in my nearly five months of doing this, I know that I’ve never wanted anything more.”

“Nothing more?” Aunt Mandy asked, looking through the kitchen window, where Liam was talking to Pops and Uncle Ian. “You sure?”

I turned completely around then, seeing their interaction. “My main priority is Hailey,” I said firmly, turning back to face my aunt. “And nothing and nobody is about to change that.”

Aunt Mandy blinked. “Sorry. Just thought I saw sparks…”

“Aftershocks,” I joked, and she smiled back at me. “Little firecrackers that just won’t get the hint and burn out. Trust me, that’s all it is.”

“Maybe from your side of things, but I think there’s still a candle in his window for you,” Aunt Mandy said quietly and, almost as if to return her theory, Liam looked through the window at us, and when his eyes locked with mine, I couldn’t deny that there was something lurking just beneath them, but what it was, as of yet, I did not know.

TO BE CONTINUED


	12. Pull the Trigger

_As I was sitting in that godforsaken courtroom again, and all I could think about was the notion that I was a fucking caged animal to these people. The reporters were sitting off to the side in the back, all but waiting for the next breaking news headline, which could make or break their career in journalism. I did my best to sit up straight, biting my lower lip as I sat in between Cara and my mother, knowing that the animosity between these two women was red-hot. I swallowed then as the door in the back opened, and the bailiff stepped forward._

_“All rise for the Honorable Judge Whitmore,” he said._

_Judge Whitmore swept into the courtroom, the documents secure in his long, black fingers as he approached the judge’s seat. He set down the documents in front of him, and arranged his robes becomingly before he sank down into the chair. “Will the defendant please rise?”_

_I felt a lump forming in my throat then as I got shakily to my feet, while my mother and Cara did so as well, in support of me._

_“I will be delivering my verdict and sentencing this afternoon,” he went on, his voice level. He took a moment to shuffle the documents and get his spectacles in place on the bridge of his nose, before he regarded the paperwork before him again. “I, Judge Whitmore, find the defendant, Iana Phillipa Gallagher-Blomqvist…”_

. . .

The doctor left the patient’s room at the run, knowing that his mother would be down in the cafeteria for her daily cup of coffee. Three sugars, extra half-and-half, French roast. Dr. Pieterson didn’t normally memorize the coffee orders of his patient’s parents, but when they’d been there nearly every day, it seemed to be something he could rely on. As he stepped into the cafeteria, his white lab coat always pristine, he caught sight of Dani, the patient’s mother, and felt immediate relief that he was able to find her so quickly.

He stepped forward, towards the little circular table by the large windows that she always seemed to find herself at. Dr. Pieterson knew that Dani drank her morning coffee there, and ate her dinner there, so as to watch the sunrise and sunset in the hospital courtyard. On the warmer spring and summer days, she could be found outside on the stone bench, underneath a small grove of beech trees, the sun reflecting around her blonde hair to form a halo. Dr. Pieterson watched then as the halo turned to face him, and he quickly smiled down at her, while Dani stared up at him with a perplexed expression.

“You don’t have to look at me that way, Dr. Pieterson,” she said, a slow smile coming to her lips as she lowered her eyes to her coffee. “My ex-husband is in prison, my younger son is in juvenile detention until his transfer to an adult facility upon his eighteenth birthday, and my older son has been in a coma for over two years. If you’ve come to deliver bad news to me, you just need to give it to me quickly. By this time, I’ve heard it all.”

“It’s not bad news, Dani, it’s good news,” Dr. Pieterson replied, and Dani’s eyes flashed upwards to meet his, and Dr. Pieterson found his legs swaying slightly at the beautiful look of them; they were chocolate brown, and espresso chocolate brown, so beautiful. “And I’ve told you, call me Victor,” he told her gently, twisting the ring on his finger and nodding down at her own. “Most of the higher-ups know we’ve been married for over six months anyway…”

Dani shrugged. “I know, Vic, really,” she said then, the pet name she had for him sounding utterly beautiful on her lips, according to Victor Pieterson. “I guess rehashing my life story is a must for me, along with the rest of the hospital staff respecting you. How would they feel if they knew we were married?” she whispered.

Victor smiled down at her, leaning up against the massive window frame to his left. “I guess they’d tell me to start being your son’s stepfather, and not his doctor.”

Dani smiled up at him, sipping the rest of her coffee before she tossed the to-go cup into a trash bin a few feet away, and moved to walk with Victor. “You said that he might wake up soon,” she said quietly to him as they left the cafeteria and made their way towards the elevator. “You think it might be today?”

Victor nodded, waiting until the elevator doors closed before briefly taking Dani’s hand, running his calloused thumb up and down her knuckles before he promptly let it go. “Could be today, Dani, could be tomorrow,” he said, knowing that Dani knew as well as he did that he had no control over whether her son woke up or not.

“Guess we just have to wait and see,” Dani said with a little sigh as they exited the elevator, and walked down the hallway together, and into the room that her son had called home for over two years now. Dani moved to sit beside him, the black plastic chair a second home to her now as she reached out and took her son’s hand. “I don’t know what’ll be the biggest blow to him, Vic,” she said softly. “That his father and younger brother are in prison, or that he won’t be able to realize his dream and play football anymore… It was his dream ever since he was a kid, and now that his kneecaps are mended, there’s still underlying damage. You told me as much.”

“The physical and emotional therapy should help,” Vic replied, squeezing Dani’s shoulder gently then, and he smiled as she leaned into him. “Try not to worry.”

Dani nodded, fully prepared to say something else then as her son’s fingers suddenly moved in her hand and, as she got to her feet, his beautiful eyes looked up at her, the shock on his face fully absorbing her now. “Oh, my god…”

“Where…where…?”

“Welcome back, Colin,” said Victor, coming towards Colin’s other side and smiling at him. “Can you tell me your name?”

“C… Colin,” he said, swallowing slightly. “I’m Colin… Can I get some water?”

“Yes, of course,” Victor said, crossing over to the mini fridge in Colin’s hospital room and retrieving a cup for him from the already chilled jug. “Here,” he said, handing it over to Dani, who gently tilted the cup down Colin’s throat. Victor waited another moment then, watching as Colin swallowed all the water he liked, before he spoke again. “Do you have any idea where you are?” Victor asked.

Colin cleared his throat. “Hospital,” he managed to get out.

“Very good,” he said, nodding over to Dani. “And can you tell me who that is?”

Colin slowly turned his head towards Dani, before he smiled. “My mom,” he replied, before he tried to sit up and Victor nodded to Dani, who re-positioned Colin’s pillows to allow him to do so in a comfortable manner. “What happened?”

Dani turned to Victor, who nodded at her. “You were attacked, sweetheart,” she replied. “You were in a coma, due to some damage to your body and brain…”

“When?” he asked. “Last night? Last week?”

“Two years and nine months ago, Colin,” Victor said softly.

Colin’s eyes widened then. “Almost three years?”

“Yeah, honey, but Victor and I are so glad you’re okay,” Dani gushed.

“Why would you both be…?” Colin asked. “Where’s Dad? And Carsen? What’s going on here, Mom?” he went on.

Dani sighed. “Honey, your dad and Carsen are in prison,” she said softly. “Your dad and I got a divorce about eighteen months ago, and I remarried… To Victor.”

Colin blinked, looking over at him. “You a doctor?”

Victor nodded. “I am. I’ve been in charge of your care.”

Colin nodded, mulling that over for a moment. “So, I’m twenty-one now?” he asked.

Dani nodded. “Yeah, baby. You’re twenty-one.”

Colin sighed. “So, when do I get to get outta here?”

. . .

_“Look, it’s not that I’m firing you,” I said, my voice firm as I sat across Cara in her office, who looked skeptical at the proposal I’d brought up. “Sure it might prove to be a conflict of interest down the line…”_

_“Not to mention you switching councils like that will be seen as you’ve got something to hide,” Cara said, sighing a little then._

_“I don’t have anything to hide,” I replied. “Even though my mom doesn’t really know all of what I’ve told you…”_

_Cara bit her lip. “So, you_ do _have something to hide, then?”_

_I shook my head at her. “No. Just means that not everyone in my life has to know every little detail about me. It shouldn’t be their business unless I make it their business.”_

_“I could understand that if you were over eighteen, Iana, but…”_

_“Please,” I told her, and her eyes locked with mine as I changed tactics. “There are things my mom knows how to do that you’d never guess at. She wasn’t raised South Side, even though she is South Side, through and through, just like I am, and will always be. But I need two different approaches on this one, and, as one of my attorneys, I need you to stand with me on this. And if this means that you need me to pay you…”_

_Cara shook her head. “I’ll keep to my word,” she said, smiling ever so slightly then. “Like I said, books aren’t cheap.”_

_I smiled back at her. “I really appreciate that.”_

_“Just tell me one thing,” Cara said, and I felt my fingers knotting into themselves again, as nerves threatened to take over. “This about what happened between you and my brother?” she asked me then._

_I raised my eyebrows. “No,” I replied, deciding not to tell her that Axel and I had cleared the air, considering that it didn’t have anything to do with the case. “No, it doesn’t have anything to do with him, Cara. Promise.”_

_Cara nodded. “All right, then,” she said, getting to her feet._

_I gave Cara a smile then as I turned around, and made my way over to the door of her office and opened it. “She says you can come in now.” I moved to the side slightly as my mother stepped into Cara’s office, and watched as the pair of them shook hands._

_“So,” my mother said then, her tone light as she lifted her own briefcase, “let’s get my daughter out of all this, shall we?”_

. . .

I woke up on the day that Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy had selected for their wedding and made sure that Hailey and I were completely pristine. Our outfits, along with Mom’s, Aunt Debbie’s and Franny’s as bridesmaids, Ezra’s as ring bearer, and Uncle Ian’s, Pops’s, and Dad’s as the best men, had been stored in Mom’s office at work. Hailey and I would be heading down there shortly to make sure that Aunt Mandy didn’t have any-last minute nerves, and were pleased that we were permitted to dress in sweats until the time came to change.

A couple of people had more than one job that day; for example, Pop’s, in addition to being one of Uncle Lip’s best men, would be walking Aunt Mandy down the aisle. Mom, in addition to being a bridesmaid, was going to be performing the ceremony, for Aunt Mandy had been so touched that she’d performed Pops’s and Uncle Ian’s, that she wanted in on the fun. Franny and I would be coordinating the computer system, where Aunt Fiona and Jimmy would be on Skype from New York, so they could witness the ceremony. Aunt Debbie was in charge of the playlist that day, and was sort of the unofficial-official D.J. for the wedding. And Jay, along with being Franny’s date for the day, informed us about his ability to aim a camera, so he’d be getting the photos of before, during, and after the ceremony.

I grabbed Hailey’s baby bag when the time came, along with Aunt Mandy’s gown, and also managed to assemble and put together my makeup kit, as I was doing Aunt Mandy’s face, my face, Franny’s face, Aunt Debbie’s face, and my mother’s face before the ceremony. Waterproof mascara, several tubes of it, were included in the kit, and I smirked to myself as I left the house on that beautiful June morning and got Hailey secured into her car seat, along with my in the front as we drove off. I knew that there were likely to be waterworks that day, and I also knew that preparation was key.

I arrived at the diner five minutes before Aunt Mandy was due to arrive, and unlocked the back door and stepped inside, setting down the makeup kit on the makeshift vanity that Mom had set up in there the night before. I smiled slightly then, and pressed my lips to Hailey’s forehead as the door shut behind us. “This is where I conceived you,” I whispered to her then. “Little did I know that the night of my sixteenth birthday would change absolutely everything…”

I shook my head then, allowing the thought to remain unfinished as I walked down the hallway to put Aunt Mandy’s dress in Mom’s office, as well as Hailey’s baby bag, and set her down on my lap as I sat on Mom’s office chair. Hailey, at nearly five months old, had an impressive crop of raven hair on her head, and her dark blue eyes were very impressive. I pressed my nose to her head then, and she leaned back into me immediately thereafter, and I sighed, running my hand over Mom’s desk.

“Guess Franny was right,” I whispered, so only Hailey could hear me. “Guess it’s time to make a new dream, and maybe… Maybe Patsy’s isn’t it,” I said softly. I heard the main door open then, followed by Aunt Mandy calling out for me, and smiled to myself as I got to my feet. “Well, Baby Girl,” I said, holding her in a more comfortable position in my arms as I opened the office door, “Guess it’s showtime.”

. . .

_“I guess my biggest fear is that they won’t believe you, when you testify tomorrow,” I said softly to Dr. Norton then, as I tried to hold myself together. “I mean, I don’t want to go to jail, or juvie, and get twenty-five to life…”_

_Dr. Norton considered that. “Tell me more about your fears, Iana.”_

_I wetted my lips then as I forced myself to think about it. “Well, I guess the notion of me not seeing my pops or Uncle Ian whenever I want…”_

_She smiled. “I’m surprised.”_

_I blinked. “Why? Freedom’s important. I learned that the hard way,” I said quietly, averting my eyes from her then, and Dr. Norton knew enough about me to understand whenever I didn’t want to discuss something._

_“I suppose I’m surprised that someone of you age wouldn’t miss a significant other,” she replied then, and I rose my eyes back to hers. “You’re young…”_

_I scoffed. “I may be young on paper, Dr. Norton, but I’ve aged so much since I was five-years-old that it’s hard to even think about being… Myself.”_

_“You think the trial has taught you anything?”_

_“Yeah,” I muttered darkly, “not to take life for granted.”_

_“Iana,” said Dr. Norton, and I looked back up at her again. “Come on. Let’s try a serious answer for once.”_

_I looked away from her. “I don’t know…”_

_“Sure you do,” she replied. “Come on. It’s our last session before I testify tomorrow, and then you never have to see me again.”_

_I smirked. “Never say never, Dr. Norton.”_

_“Honey, I think I’ve done some real good work for you, and believe me when I say this, I’d be thrilled to take you on as a permanent client. But my job is people who go through the justice system, unfortunately, and I’m not sure you’re a candidate for that. Regardless,” she went on, before I could question her why, “I’ll be recommending a new therapist for you once this is all over, so you won’t be alone in this.”_

_I smiled at her. “Oh, please,” I said, briefly lowering my eyes to my ankle bracelet before I permitted myself to check my phone, “I’ve been alone, in one way or another for years. Not like someone can just wave a magic wand and change that now,” I said, my voice soft as I got to my feet and went to her door, whereupon I lifted my hand and waved to her. “See you in court tomorrow,” I said, before I slipped out of there._

. . .

“You look so beautiful, Aunt Mandy,” I told her as I got the last of the waterproof mascara into place, while Franny stood by, holding Hailey. With Mom and Aunt Debbie holding down the fort in the dining area, Franny and I were making sure the bride looked perfect.

“Uncle Lip is gonna swoon when he sees you,” Franny said, and Aunt Mandy grinned at Franny in the mirror.

“Thank you, girls. For everything. For doing all this, helping with the wedding… For all of it, really. And especially to you, Iana, for getting me reunited with Lip,” she said, turning to face me as she clutched my hands. “Really means a lot to me.”

I grinned at her. “Thank Pops,” I replied. “If he hadn’t told me about the Milkovich side of my family, who knows where we’d all be right now?”

“That’s what I like to hear,” said Pops then, and we all turned to see him standing in the doorway, in a suit, although his necktie was undone, but it looked so Pops. “Wow, Mandy, you look beautiful… Just like Mom.”

Aunt Mandy smiles. “Thanks, Mickey,” she replies, getting to her feet. The mermaid-cut gown is ivory in color, and it hugs her in all the right places. “You don’t think it’s too much?”

“No, of course not,” Pops says, shaking his head, not wanting to upset his own sister on her wedding day. He hesitates for a moment then, before he begins to address the both of us. “Ian’s already at his place with Debs, and Nicholas about to walk out there with Murphy,” he explained to Mandy. “Franny, you all ready to get to your place with Hailey?”

“Absolutely,” Franny replied, turning back to Aunt Mandy and me for a moment. “I love you guys,” she said, before she walked by Pops. “Love you, too, Mick,” she said, flashing him a grin before she waited for her cue, and stepped out.

“Where’s Ezra gone to?” I asked, looking around. “It’s my job to walk him down the aisle and make sure he doesn’t lose the ring…”

“I’m here!” crowed Ezra then, dashing into the room with his pillow, the rings still firmly in place as he smiled at all of us. “Uncle Nicholas was helping me with my tie.”

“And don’t you look dapper!” I said then, kneeling down in front of him and straightening it slightly before looked up at him. “You look amazing. Pops, Aunt Mandy’s flowers are in the fridge in the kitchen,” I told him.

“Right,” he said, dashing back there.

I get to my feet then and turn towards Aunt Mandy, going towards her and picking up her veil from atop the vanity, and gently pin it into her hair. “You look amazing,” I tell her again, before kissing her on the cheek and turning back to Ezra. “Ready to hold my hand, walk carefully, and smile for the camera?” I ask him.

“I’m ready!” Ezra said, grinning from ear to ear as Pops comes out again.

“We’re heading out now,” I tell Pops, watching as he grins at Aunt Mandy again and hands over her bouquet of flowers.

“Great,” he says then, obviously trying to keep his emotions in check. “See you out there.”

I turn back to Ezra, taking him by the hand and leading him out, walking down the makeshift aisle in the dining room, and grinning at everyone, showing Ezra where the camera is and smiling into it with him. When we get up to where Mom is standing in the center, Uncle Lip to her left, I grin at him and motion to Ezra where to stand, and Uncle Ian takes a good grip onto his shoulders as we all of us wait for Pops to escort Aunt Mandy out here. I take my place opposite from Uncle Ian, as Maid of Honor, and turn around to check on Hailey, still in Franny’s arms just behind me and, once I’m sure she’s all right, turn back around.

Aunt Debbie switches the playlist to _The Wedding March_ , we all of us turn to see Aunt Mandy being led out by Pops, and both of them are beaming at Uncle Lip and Uncle Ian respectfully as they make it up the aisle. Once they get there, Pops shakes Uncle Lip’s outstretched hand, before he joins Aunt Mandy and Uncle Lip’s hands and goes to stand just behind Uncle Lip, sharing a look with Uncle Ian as he does so. Dad then claps Pops on the back, giving him a thumbs-up as my mother looks from the bride and groom, and, once Aunt Debbie changes the music again, begins the ceremony.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in Patsy’s Pies to join together my big brother, Phillip Gallagher, and my soon-to-be sister, Mandy Milkovich. As I said when I married my beloved twin, Ian, and the love of his life, Mickey, eight years ago now, love is a long time coming. I think I speak for all of us when I say that, even though it takes a while, it’s always worth it in the end, if this is the end, which is always, always, the beginning…”

. . .

_“I will be delivering my verdict and sentencing this afternoon,” he went on, his voice level. He took a moment to shuffle the documents and get his spectacles in place on the bridge of his nose, before he regarded the paperwork before him again. “I, Judge Whitmore, find the defendant, Iana Phillipa Gallagher-Blomqvist, not guilty of assault and attempted murder, due to reason of mental disease or defect. She is to be released from her house arrest, and, as part of a negotiated plea-agreement, will continue to submit to therapy and treatment until she is eighteen-years-old, as per her diagnosis by Dr. Samantha Norton. Court is adjourned,” he says, and I feel the massive weight leaving me then as the gavel is slammed down, and there is a twinkle in his eye as he moves to return to his chambers._

_“Gun!” screams the bailiff suddenly then, his hands hitched to his belt, ready to fire his own weapon if need be._

_The collective reporters at the back of the room each let out screams, along with everyone in the gallery then as a spectator gets to his feet, and my blood runs cold as to who it was. I was quick to recognize Carsen Monroe, Colin’s younger brother, brandishing an assault rifle, his eyes filled with a madness I’d seen in Colin’s eyes, the night he attacked Franny, and I attacked him. I felt my gasp rising in my throat then as he aimed the gun at the bailiff first, taking him down with a shot to the neck, before turning it on Judge Whitmore._

_“Fucking bastard!” he yelled, the words ripping from his lungs as he fired three times, getting Judge Whitmore in the chest before turning his gun at the table where I was sitting._

_“DOWN!” I screamed then, grabbing my mother and Cara then, and shoving them downwards as I dropped to my knees as well. My heart was hammering in my throat then, as I listened to Carsen’s rage. I was hoping then as I slipped my phone from my pocket and dialed 9-1-1 that this act of terror would soon come to an end._

_“You attacked my brother, and you’re not getting punished for it!” Carsen growled then, clicking the rifle as I saw his feet slowly coming towards us. “Your mental disease or defect is fucking bullshit, Iana! It’s all a lie! And now, you’re going to fucking die for it!”_

_“Fine,” I said then, kicking my phone backwards to my mother then, out of Carsen’s sight as I got slowly to my feet. I raised my hands over my head in a moment of surrender, trying to show no fear. “Do whatever you want. Make an example of me if that’s what you want to do. But don’t you stand there and doubt my mental capacity,” I told him. “I come from a whole family of mentally ill people, so it’s only natural that with the life I’ve led, I’ll get some shit happening to my mind as well. Go ahead; shoot me if it’ll make you feel better. But, just so you know, that no matter what you do to me, it won’t bring Colin back.”_

_“Don’t fucking say his name!” Carsen screamed then, his voice like a fucking banshee as I stepped forward then, in clear line of fire. “Don’t you fucking say…”_

_It was then, just as Carsen was poised to fire his weapon, that I was knocked out of the way, and into the table where the district attorney was crouching. He made a grab for me then, holding me against him; despite everything he’d implied about me in the last several months of this trial, in this moment, we were on the same side. I knew he was a father, too, so seeing a girl that had been found not guilty of a crime just moments before now was good enough for him, and as he held me against him then, I looked around to see who had knocked me out of the way, just as Carsen’s gun went off._

_“NO!” I screamed then, as Carsen dropped his weapon. I struggled out of the district attorney’s arms then, and grabbed it, holding it on him just as the police showed up. I quickly handed it over to them and turned, collapsing to my knees then in a pool of the victim’s blood, my vision blinded by tears as I forced myself to look down at the person who had literally just taken a bullet for me._

. . .

“…and by the power vested in me, by the State of Illinois, I pronounce Phillip and Mandy husband and wife, and Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher. You may kiss the bride,” Mom said, grinning at Uncle Lip as Uncle Ian nudged him towards Aunt Mandy from behind.

Aunt Mandy handed over her bouquet to me before she stepped forward then as she was yanked lengthwise against Uncle Lip then, who placed his hands on her hips as she wound her arms around his neck. I felt the grin eclipse my entire face then as I did my best to applaud the two of them along with the rest of my family. I watched then as they broke apart, and handed over Aunt Mandy’s bouquet again, before we all joined with our partners and walked back down the aisle, before slipping into the back for our reception outfits. Once changed, we trooped back into the dining room again, Aunt Debbie switched the playlist to some dance music, whereupon we partied, Gallagher-style.

I held Hailey in my arms then, dancing with her, and my daughter seemed to truly enjoy the swaying movements I was providing for her. I looked around, seeing that Mom and Dad were paired up, along with Uncle Ian and Pops, Franny and Jay, and Aunt Debbie and Ezra. I pressed my lips to my daughter’s forehead again, inhaling that sweet baby smell of hers, pleased with how the day had turned out.

However, reality had a way of finding our family, and it was when I heard the popping sound of a gunshot, that the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood entirely on end. In the next two seconds, the door was kicked open, and my mouth, and Franny’s, fell open immediately when we saw who stood there. Colin Monroe was brandishing an assault rifle, just like Carsen had had in the courtroom over two years ago. Except this time, it wasn’t just me, I saw that now as he stepped into the diner; his eyes went from Franny, to me, to Hailey, and finally came to rest on Ezra, and there was no mistaking that Ezra was his son.

Colin cranked the gun then, and it caused me to swallow then as I held Hailey more tightly against my body. “Time to pay,” he announced then, and threw back his head to laugh. “Franny first, I think,” he declared then, brandishing the weapon at her, and didn’t even hesitate for a moment as he fired.

“Jay!” came Franny’s anguished scream a moment later, when Jay lunged out in front of Franny, and took the bullet for her. “Fuck,” she whispered, kneeling beside him.

“Same difference,” Colin continued before holding the gun on me next. “You’re next, Iana. I guess you couldn’t keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut. Had to say you were crazy to try and get outta all this, and it actually worked,” he went on, shaking his head. “Little did you know that it would all end this way, with your brains adorning the walls of your mother’s diner. Say goodbye,” he said, and pointed the gun to get a clear shot.

“Not gonna happen,” said a voice from behind me and, when Colin fired, I was knocked backwards, where strong arms caught me then, and I watched with horror as Pops was shot by Colin’s gun, and toppled backwards onto the floor.

“Pops!” I cried.

“Mick!” Uncle Ian screamed then, the words ripping from his throat then as he let me go, and ran towards him, putting pressure on the wound. “Don’t you fucking die on me, you son of a bitch! I won’t let you fucking die…”

“Had to do it, Fire Crotch,” Pops said quietly, reaching up then and gently touching Uncle Ian’s face. “You know I had to do it…”

“Jesus Christ, don’t talk,” Uncle Ian hissed at his, the blood pooling beneath his palms as Colin continued loading his weapon. “Be quiet…”

“This ends here,” I whispered.

“What?” my mother whispered.

I turned towards her. “Take care of Hailey, because this bullshit is over,” I said, handing over my daughter, not truly knowing what I was doing, but also knowing that my family meant everything to me, and I wasn’t about to make any more sacrifices, because I wasn’t the good little girl anymore; I was an ass-kicking Milkovich, and Colin needed to fucking learn.

As he was reloading the gun, I went for him then, knowing that there was one shot to get this right, and there were no room for errors. I grabbed the end of the gun then, and Colin’s eyes met mine, filled with anger, but I wasn’t letting up. I was constantly working out, and this son of a bitch had been lying in a fucking hospital bed for the last three years. I yanked the gun out of his miserable hands then, glaring fully at him without hesitation. I then took the barrel of the gun and slammed it into his forehead, knocking him out, and dropped the weapon immediately, feeling my hands shaking at the turmoil we had all just witnessed.

“Everyone okay?” I asked.

Jay sighed, sitting up then, and Franny gasped. “Hey, I’m fine,” he said, and I felt my eyes widen then when there was no trace of Italian accent to his voice. “My buddies are on their way. We’re all gonna be fine.”

“Buddies?” Franny demanded then, looking Jay over. She looked where Colin had shot him then, and ripped open the jacket and button-down shirt he wore. “A fucking vest?!” she cried out, and raised her eyes to his. “What the fuck are you…?!”

Jay reached out then, wrapping his hand around Franny’s neck then and pulling her to him, kissing her, and we all of us, who were able to, raised our eyebrows. “My name is Clark Crowe,” he said to her, once he’d let her go.

“Wait. What?!” Dad demanded. “I know, Clark, he…”

“Nicholas, you haven’t seen me since high school,” Clark said patiently. “This was an undercover assignment, and I had to look the part. I got tanned, worked out way too much, and grew facial hair. Trust me. Still me.”

“You’re a fucking cop?!” Franny demanded. “Seriously?” she whispered, shaking her head as Clark turned back to look at her. “I was just an assignment to you?”

“Hey, it wasn’t my intention to fall in love with you,” Clark said, and Franny’s eyes widened at his declaration then. “All I had to do was act like it, Franny, but, somewhere along the way, the acting ended and the love started…”

“God, I don’t believe this,” Franny whispered, dragging her hands over her face. “So, other than your job and your name, what else don’t I know about you?”

“Some of the things I said were true,” Clark said then as several cops stormed the building and apprehended Colin, whose head was still rolling when they dragged him out of there. “Mickey Milkovich, that guy there,” Clark said loudly, pointing to cops, “is in serious need of medical attention. Get him in there, huh?”

“I’m going, too,” Uncle Ian said, glaring at the cop who seemed to want to hold him back from following Pops.

“Cagney, let him go,” Clark said to the detective then, and he turned and looked at Clark for a moment. “He’s the husband. Let him go.”

“Right. Sorry, man. Let’s go,” Cagney said, clapping Uncle Ian on the shoulder then, and he moved to follow Pops out of there.

I crossed back over to my mother then, taking back Hailey into my arms. “Hell of a wedding,” I said quietly to Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy, and we all of us nodded to each other.

. . .

I drove through the gates of the cemetary the following afternoon, still slightly in shock from Colin’s attack of all of us merely twenty-four hours before. I shook my head, pulling off to the side of the graveyard road, the hot June air making contact with my skin as I hopped from my car, and got into the back immediately, and lifting Hailey out from her carseat. I pressed my lips to her forehead, hoping there wouldn’t be any lasting damage to her from the attack yesterday, although everyone, except for Pops and Colin, who now had a charge of assault of a police officer and attempted second-degree murder under his belt, had been cleared immediately for medical release, physically at least.

I crossed over to the grave, which had been dug and put beneath a tree, that I had not been to in almost three years, since the funeral. “This was someone very important to Mama, Hailey,” I told her, my voice soft as she lay her head down on my shoulder. “It’s because of her that Mama isn’t in prison, and that you’re here now… Life’s funny sometimes, right?” I asked her, dashing the tears from my eyes then as I placed my free hand atop the headstone. “We’re all here for you, Cara, really… Just thought I’d come and introduce you to someone. Cara, this is my daughter, Hailey. Hailey, this is Cara, Mama’s lawyer, and one of the bravest women I ever knew.” I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket then, and, upon taking it out, read the text from my mom. “Papa Mickey is out of surgery, Hailey,” I said, relief filling my tone. “They got the bullet out entirely and now he’s sleeping it off.” I sent off a quick reply to my mother, before pocketing my phone again and gazing at Cara’s headstone once more. “She would’ve loved you, my darling,” I said to Hailey, kissing her forehead.

“Come here often?”

The familiarity of the voice caused a whole battery of memories to overcome my senses then and, as I turned, I noticed that the nearly three years hadn’t changed Axel a bit, while I was two inches taller, more developed physically and emotionally, and had Hailey. “No, I don’t. First time since the funeral,” I said, my tone awkward.

Axel sighed, stepping closer. “I want you to know that I don’t blame you, for what happened when the verdict was handed down,” he replied. “You didn’t ask Cara to take that bullet for you, and I know you never would.”

I nodded. “Guess you know me pretty well that you’d know that,” I said quietly.

Axel smiled. “I like to think I knew you, Iana. Once. And now here you are, a young woman, growing up…”

“Seventeen now,” I said, smiling, unable to keep the pride from my voice as I gently pulled Hailey up higher into my arms. “Things did change, I guess…”

Axel’s eyes caught Hailey’s then, and he looked her over. “She’s beautiful,” he said then before looking back at me. “She yours?”

I nodded. “Yeah, she’s mine.” I stepped a little closer to him then and allowed Axel to see Hailey more clearly. “Axel, this is my daughter, Hailey. Hailey, this is Mama’s old friend, Axel.”

Axel reached out then and, just like all the people in her life that Hailey seemed to like and trust on an immediate basis, Hailey grabbed ahold of his finger. Axel gasped aloud then, which quickly turned into a laugh before he turned and looked at me. “Heard about Colin waking up, and that he came after you,” he said quietly. “Sorry about that, Iana, really.”

I smiled. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“I heard there was someone in critical condition,” he said quietly then, and something in his voice hitched, like he was trying to hold back emotions. “Guess that’s why I came here today, hoping to see you, and hoping that it wasn’t you who got hurt…”

“It wasn’t me, obviously,” I said softly. “It was my pops. He threw himself out in front of me, just like Cara did with Carsen, and took the bullet.”

“He gonna be okay?”

I nodded. “Fine. They got the bullet out and I guess it didn’t hit anything vital. He’s sleeping it off now, according to my mom.”

“Glad you didn’t lose him, Iana. I know he means a lot to you.”

I smiled up at him. “Thank you,” I said again.

“He try to shoot you again?”

I shook my head. “No. Son of a bitch tried to reload the gun, and I took it, pistol-whipping him right in the forehead. He’ll be fine, and he’s been charged already, so I don’t think he’ll be getting out for a good long time.”

“And how are you?” Axel asked. “Generally, since everything. How’s this new-found freedom been for you?”

I sighed. “I’ve uncovered some things, about Tommy,” I told him, and Axel’s mouth set then, almost as if he was attempting to contain his rage. “I know it’ll all be dealt with accordingly, though, because, after all this time, I trust your judgement, Axel.”

He blinked. “You what?”

“You did the right thing, in getting me to break up with you, even though neither of us wanted to back then,” I said softly. “I was too young for you, too immature. I’ve grown up a lot since then, and realized that my tendencies towards older people are actually really unhealthy. I wanted to be the one in control, because that little part of my mind was convinced that they’d hurt me if I didn’t make the first move and show interest.”

Axel sighed. “I hope you know I was actually interested, Iana.”

I nodded. “I know,” I replied. “And I’m glad. Because so was I.”

“You still with Hailey’s father?” he asked.

I laughed. “Uh, no. No. He’s at UCLA following his football dreams. And I’m here, with Hailey. It didn’t stop him from proposing though. Don’t worry, I said ‘no’,” I told him.

Axel nodded. “Good to hear.”

I smiled slowly up at him then, closing the final step of distance between us, and cupping his face in my hand, as I’d done on that first day we met. Except the difference this time was my daughter, and it wasn’t raining. Another difference was that Axel and I knew far more about the other, and about ourselves, so we weren’t diving into something reckless.

“I’m done with being reckless, Axel.”

He nodded. “So am I.”

I kept right on smiling at him. “Good to hear,” I said, not even hesitating for another moment then as I pressed my lips to his, and felt my heart hammering merrily away as he put his arms around me then.

END OF SEASON TWO


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